As you know, I’ve been searching for a Tilden apricot tree, as they’re the only kind that’s self-pollinating, so you only need one.  Because I was going to Osoyoos for the Easter weekend, I decided to have a look in the Sandhu Nursery.

If you’re ever in Osoyoos and enjoy gardening, please visit this nursery.  I found my Tilden apricot tree there, and was amazed at the huge variety of shrubs, trees and flowers.  You have no idea how massive it is until you go in there.

You’d think that’d be enough joy for anyone, but no, it continued.  Mom saved a bunch of Life magazines from 1962 (Marilyn Monroe’s death) and 1963 (the Kennedy assassination).  They’re all in mint condition, and as mom doesn’t want to store them any longer, I said I’d take them.

She also gave me two books printed in Germany in 1886 which I remember being allowed to look at very carefully when I was a small child.  They’re colour drawings of animals and people from around the world, or the world as they knew it at that time.  Fascinating!

The week had started well anyway, as last Tuesday I was invited to spend a spa afternoon with three other women.  We had a full body massage, facial and pedicure, which took from 1:00 until 4:00 PM.  I’ve never experienced such relaxation.

And I always love to spend time with Pat, the woman whose guest I was for this extravaganza.  Her real name’s Petra, which I think is a much nicer name than Pat, but you know how it was in the old days.  Petra would’ve been too odd for Canadians, so when she arrived from Germany in the 1950’s she changed it to Pat.

And speaking of change, last week I saw a front-end loader type machine unloaded in front of a house across the road.  Suddenly, whammo, the trees and house were being pulled down and for the first time in 22 years I could see through to the road on the other side!

At first I felt sick because I thought some behemoth’ll be built there and people will be able to look into my dining room window.  But fortunately, as it turns out, the old neighbour is just building a brand new house right on the same old spot.  Phew!  I always pride myself in not needing window blinds on that side of the house.

My house looks very nice with its new stucco.  Now the wood siding on the lower half need re-painting, but I figure I can do that over the next few weeks.   I’ll hire Larry the Handyman to get on a ladder to paint the fascia board as I don’t need to risk my life for home improvement.

I picked flowers like pentsemon, holly hocks and echinacea for my new water wise garden, and the irrigation expert’s coming this Friday.  So as far as I can tell there’s no end in sight for happiness.

As you know, a xeriscape landscaper’s going to help me turn this yard into an indigenous paradise.  But you know how that goes, you decide to work on one area, then look around the place with a jaundiced eye.  So when I looked at the house critically, I thought the old shack needs a sprucing up, too.

I idly googled stucco, and found a nice-sounding company here in Kelowna.  I contacted the Stucco Surgeon, and even as I type, he and his crew are working away.  The house has ugly white stucco on it from 1960, but by the end of today it’s going to have nice new taupe-coloured stucco on it instead.

And good news about the dog, too.  For only $168 I found out from the vet that she doesn’t have diabetes.  She had some type of mild infection, so was put on antibiotics.  The vet said if the incontinence continues, then the old mutt’s going to have to start taking hormones.  Like owner, like pet, I suppose.

Luke arrived home on Thursday with his pal Nathan.   They were on their way to Vancouver fom Alberta and stopped in for a night of food and hilarity. Then the two of them, plus Luke’s friend Felix, who lives here in Kelowna, headed off to Thailand for a month

Luke’s taking his little tablet with him, and left his phone here.  He said you can call me on this.  I said, on what, your little computer there?  And he said, yeah, let’s try it.  So I dialed the number, his wee, tiny laptop rang, and he said hello into it.  I was quite amazed, as this thing can do almost everything except prepare a meal.

With all of my homemade apricot jam eaten, I’m in a bit of a quandary as I just hate commercially-prepared jams.  I tried one of the Smucker’s strawberry, and it was barely passable.  The one nice thing it did for me was remind me of the old days at the Cavalier Grill in the Georgia Hotel in Vancouver.

My parents liked to stay there, and so we’d eat downstairs in the hotel’s restaurant.  In the mornings at breakfast, they brought that adorable little metal rack filled with the single servings of jam, honey and peanut butter. I loved that so much.

So I’m determined to find an apricot tree to plant in the yard, and then have more apricots and jam than I know what to do with.  But the local nurseries don’t seem to have any tildens, which is the variety I want as it’s one of those where you only need one tree and it’ll bear fruit.

I’ve received a timeline from the xeriscape gardener, and this year’s project should pretty well be wrapped up by the end of April.  What I’m enjoying about this project is I got to pick out an entire new garden full of flowers and shrubs.  It’s garden renovation at its finest.

Then with the house re-stuccoed and the landscape re-done I can return to some of my interior projects.  I want to paint a couple of rooms, and I’ll be sure to choose colours tha are all very zen and Earth-mothery to match the new exterior.  Ohm.

You may be surprised to know that a backhoe, bobcat or some form of heavy equipment’s required for my xeriscape project.  Lisa, the nice landscaper, said that’s how the lower lawn will be removed, and then the pieces are heaped here and there, and then they’re covered in bark mulch to form the hillocks.

There’ll be paths made of pebbles for the dachshunds.  Also, the indigenous plants going into these hillocks may be attractive to the quail.  Then the dogs’ll have even more territory for finding delicious baby quail snacks.

But poor old Mojo’s going to the vet today for a check-up as I’m afraid she may have developed diabetes just as Arnie did at around that same age.  I’ve noticed some fairly serious, and obviously very disturbing, incidents of incontinence on the dog’s part.

But as everyone with a house and pets knows, both are a great way to get rid of huge piles of money.  I don’t know why, but otherwise rational people will think nothing of spending insane sums of money on both.

And then there are the smaller blow-outs when I make this fatal error in thinking: I say to myself, “I’m just going to look around in Winners for a while, but I don’t need anything, so it’ll be fun just to browse.”  Nearly $200 later, I stagger out of the store, wondering what just happened.

My brother’s daughter Julie’s getting married in August, so I bought a dress at Winners that may be appropriate for the event.  It makes me feel an awful lot like Betty Draper, so I suppose that’s a good thing.  It has a fitted bodice, with darts and then the skirt is fullish, as it’s made with box pleats.

And then there’s the general hilarity of having seen my visioning regarding the yard and garden, as well as the new direction for the business, coming to fruition.  The yard’s going to be a joy, and now the business is starting to feel that way again, too.

I received another couple of on-line orders, and felt great to be able to custom-make them as the customers wanted.  I simply can’t stand high-volume production, as so much of what artisan food is, IE hand made, can’t be done like that.

Nicky has a job starting this week with the Regional District of the Central Okanagan.  He’ll be riding through orchards on a quad all day, hanging coddling moth traps on apple trees.  It’s just a seven-week gig, but he’s hoping it may be an in with the Regional District, and he’d like to work for them.

Luke’s coming through Kelowna this week on his way to Vancouver where he and his friend Felix are catching a plane to Thailand, where they’re spending a month.

So almost all’s well in our little corner of the world, as spring’s just around the corner.  I just have to think positively as I drive toward the vet’s office with Mojo today.

 67 years ago today, my dear parents were wed.  My dad died long ago, but I like to remind my mom of the event whenever it comes around.  I send her an e mail every morning, so sent her a reminder of it today.  I also told her to look for my monthly newsletter, which I sent out this morning.

As fast as the newsletters go out, orders come in!  No kidding.  I received a repeat order for 6 fruitcakes from one nice person in Burnaby, and then another corporate order from Source Furniture.  They want 250 pieces of chocolate bark for a spring convention.

So sending out newsletters definitely works.  And when Margaret was here last time she made me start a Facebook page for the business, so now I really do have to try to get with the social networking program.  I think it’ll suit me, as I’ve decided to post whatever I’m making here for dinner.

That way, people can have a look and get an idea for something relatively quick, cheap, easy and healthy to make.  Of course the pressure is a killer, as now I’ll have the weight of the world on my shoulders as I think of something mundane for dinner.  Then I’ll have to think harder, as I know my fans will be watching.

I’ve had quite a lot of yard excitement lately.  Lisa from Waterwise Garden Design’s been here twice, and is now going to sketch out a design for me.  I’m almost completely insane with excitement about it.  The next time she comes she said she’s bringing photos of indigenous plants so I can get started choosing some.

And there are flowers I already love that are water-wise, so things like holly hocks, rudbeckia and poppies are going to be mixed in with the indigenous plants.  I think it’s going to look great, and be so easy to manage.

Then Nicky surprised me by going to the vegetable garden where he and his pals Ryan and Taylor worked like dogs weed-whacking and re-digging the beds.  They have the whole place looking totally inviting for the upcoming gardening season.

And here’s another great thing from social networking.  I sent out the newsletter, and mentioned I had lots of perennials that needed homes, and already found local gardeners who are ga ga with excitement to get these mature plants.

So as crazy as all of this stuff sounds, I have to hand it to Margaret that Facebook, newsletters and all of that do get the word out, and quickly.  I just wish I was better at Tweeting, but always seem to forget.

To reward the boys I’m making spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner, and I made a pumpkin loaf which they’ll enjoy warm, slathered in butter.  I’m having none of it, as I’m off to Toronto at the end of next month to visit Alison, so am on a strict diet.

Nothing would make Alison happier than if I arrived well-fed and plump.  No, I have to eat like a bird so I can arrive thin.  But once there, the gloves are off, and I plan to eat my way through the city of Toronto.

It was two years ago yesterday that precious Arnie died.  That’s basically when I decided as that beautiful dog had lived for love, and was willing to give it all for his mom, I felt I had to honour his memory by following my heart.  I owe so much to that dog!

But due to the high cost of divorce, it’s taken me until now to be able to fully appreciate the things I and I alone can decide to do in the house and yard.  I tell ya, it’s a heady feeling.  The only downer is Nicky.  He continues to flap his gums, and interfere in things that have absolutely nothing to do with him.

I was so thrilled when Lisa Masini of Waterwise Landscape Design came over on Wednesday.  She spent over an hour here, and we decided we’re starting with the lower lawn.  All of it will be removed, and I have to take out every perennial!  I e mailed my sister-in-law Wendy who’s a gardening freak, and even she replied, “So are we crazy, or what??”

She’s watched me put all of the beds in over the past 22 years, and provided me with the phlox that I have throughout my garden.  She and Freddie just bought a house which is on two acres, so I said to her, “Please take some of your phlox back home to the Coast from whence it came.”  Wendy really likes that idea, and so do I.

This will engender a trip from Maple Ridge to Kelowna, to dig out dozens of clumps of heliopsis and phlox, and transport them back to the Coast to re-plant.  But we’re true gardeners, so we both shrug, and say, “What’s so impractical about that?”

Lisa’s then going to have bark mulch and pea gravel brought in, and will make nice paths and hillocks.  Then she said we’ll call in an irrigation company, and get this, I won’t be watering the flower beds by hand anymore!

Nicky was nattering the whole time about how long this would take, and what it’ll look like, and so on.  I just kept saying, “What’s the difference?  It’s what I want and I’m doing it.”  Once Lisa’s filled the hillocks with gorgeous self-spreading indigenous plants, he’ll forget all about the useless lawn.

I’ve similarly gone mad inside the house.  I bought a new couch, and now decided I need the matching chair.  I love the look of rattan, and as I have lots of plants and windows, it kind of makes sense in my living room.  Plus, the reality is that any fabric couch will be turned into rags by Wrecks within months.

Because the living room looks so different without the old sectional, the new couch started a domino effect of furniture-moving.  It’s been going on for the past two days, but I think I have the place under control.  But it’s been so much fun that yesterday morning I felt so giddy with excitement I wondered if Nicky’d slipped some mushrooms into my cereal.

But it turned out he hadn’t, and I’m just going to have to learn to live with very high levels of euphoria.  I suppose there could be worse things.

I just went on an interesting archeological expedition.  I decided as spring’s just around the corner, it’s time to get started on cleaning the house.  I began with one of the lazy Susans in the kitchen, and found it fascinating to see how my mind works when in the grocery store.

I see that I must have had a strong interest in making lemon meringue pies, judging from the boxes of Shirriff lemon pie filling, yet I’ve never made one in my entire life!  There must also be something that compels me toward Taco kits, though I’d have to say it’s at least ten years since I last made them.

I got rid of a lot of expired dreck that will never be eaten.  But it’s actually quite hard to do as I do the same with food items as I do with clothes.  I put the item on the pile to be thrown out, then I pick it up again, and go no.  These herring fillets in curry sauce don’t expire until December and surely someone’s going to eat them.  No-one will, of course, so next spring they’ll sadly go into the garbage.

I was a huge fan of the Monkees as I was 12 when they hit the scene, and as we all know, that’s a very formative time in a person’s life.  I was therefore very shocked and saddened to hear that Davy Jones died the other day.  He wasn’t my favourite, as I was crazy for Micky Dolenz, but I loved Davy too, tiny as he was.

Who doesn’t like belting out the words to Daydream Believer when driving along?  I watched their weekly television show and would sing along to the theme song: “Hey hey we’re the Monkees, and people say we monkey around…..”

My friend Barb Barker and I rehearsed the walk down the halls of Osoyoos Elementary Junior Secondary School just like the four of them did at the beginning of their show.  I actually sent away for, and received a signed photo of Micky.  Whether it was machine-signed or not, I treasured it.

Do you recall the Mark Twain story of Tom Sawyer painting the fence?  You’ll recall Tom managed to inveigle his friends to come and do it for him.  I was able to observe a tableau vivant of this the other day.

I had asked Nicky if he would please remove all dog feces from the yard and rake all the pine needles. He gave the standard reply:  I will.

A few days went by, and then he announced that Ryan and Taylor were coming over to do some yard work.  Sure enough, the three of them worked for two hours, and the yard looks fabulous.  They did really, really annoying things like rake into my beds, but I said nothing.  I  thought as long as I don’t have to do it, I’ll cope with all of the busted tulips later.

I said to my mom maybe the B.A. in psychology is paying off for Nicky after all.  I mean really, he was smart to get two guys, who work for landscapers for God’s sake, to help him and as he has no money, and I said I certainly don’t have any, he must’ve found some profound arguments in order to make them come and do it.

So you see, a B.A. in psychology does have very practical applications.

I enjoy running around town acting like a complete eccentric.  For instance, last week I was at Buckerfield’s buying dog food.  A woman became briefly distraught as she thought she’d lost her car keys.  I told her and the clerk that I avoid that very fate by keeping my keys safely in the ignition.  Both women appeared horrified, and weren’t sure what to say.

Imagine how conflicted I was to see that the Dragon’s Den team was in Kelowna again, scouting for businesses.  Now that I’ve decided I want to be a small, artisan, on-line food business I have to keep reminding myself of my new goal.  But you know what a publicity hound I am, so appearing on that show would be somewhat titillating.

Margaret, who’s a marketing maven, is currently staying with me.  She’s touring around this area for her new contract to do social media for Tourism BC.  She’s teaching people my age how to use Twitter and all of the new social media.  You can imagine how relieved people are when they understand it and can use it.

Are you watching the Republican primaries?  I’ve watched quite a lot of them, and must say, I sure enjoy seeing the weak group of candidates on the far right.  I like to imagine President Obama, giggling at the gaffs played out for all of us on the nightly news.

Last night Margaret and I were in Osoyoos for mom’s 87th birthday.  There were eight of us for dinner.  As I said to Nicky when we arrived back home today, Margaret made the mistake of a novice, and is now paying for it, as this was her first experience with mom’s dinner parties.  Nicky just shook his head and chuckled.

We’ve all experienced it, so we know exactly how it can occur.  For example, the evening began at 6:00 with champagne.  Then with dinner there was both red and white wine, and Margaret drank several glasses of each.  When she asked me to open another bottle of wine for her at midnight, I knew trouble lay ahead.

I had wisely stopped drinking earlier on, as I know there’s no way I can keep up with mom or her guests, which included the mayor and local MLA.  I learned long ago that I’m a total lightweight so I don’t even try.

I made a couple of new appetizer recipes, one of which was okay, and that was crab cakes.  Then for dinner Jerralynn made steaks with giant prawns and asparagus, and Hollandaise sauce on top.  I’d made mom’s favourite rum cake for dessert.  I think even the cake can cause hangovers because the rum’s added after it’s baked.

Needless to say it was a long drive back to Kelowna for Margaret this morning.  I just thank God I’m okay.  And can I confess something?  I can’t help but feeling like gloating over my new-found prudence.

I need it, as I’m off to Toronto at the end of April to hang around with Alison, my pal since primary school.  I have a feeling there won’t be a lot of opportunity for me to gloat on that trip!

Larry the handyman was over last week to do a small project for me.  As this is an old farm house, the kitchen had one of those built-in ironing board cupboards.  I had a large china cabinet in front of it, but it always bothered me, as did the old, cheap wallpaper behind it.

So after nearly 22 years, I decided oh what the hell, and called Larry in to get rid of it.  I wanted to match the paint to the living room walls, so had to make three trips to General Paint, but was successful  in the end.  Now I just sit and stare lovingly at the wall.

Larry, who appears to be around my age, got married last year for the third time.  I’d told him about my situation when he was here doing another job, so the other day he asked how things were going, and I said they were going great.  I said, “Ya know, Larry, I’m neither bored nor lonely.”

He said he was both bored and lonely, and hence was glad to have found his third wife.  I said that’s the trouble with men, they just can’t be alone.  I think women are much better at it.  Though of course as I’m still living with an adult child, how would I really know?

And speaking of which, Denis and Nicky have driven to Sylvan Lake to visit Luke.  That’ll be Denis’ first trip to see Luke’s house.  I made two batches of cookies for them to take, and stuck in a note saying I’d fly out in May or June when the weather’s better.  I don’t find Alberta in the winter much of a draw.

Do you ever see this ad on TV?  I think it must be for a bank.  The person says, “I want to stop paying bank fees” or whatever, and some deadpan, wise-ass retorts, “Then stop paying bank fees.” This is basically what appears to have happened with my ‘business plan.’

The other day I was thinking, “I wish I could have a solely on-line business” then some voice came back with, “then have a solely on-line business.”  And I thought, of course.  I have to return to the roots of the matter, which is the handmade, artisan food angle.

This would allow me to be very creative.  If I want to make a new product for the stores, I have to pay for a label to be designed, labels have to be printed, a lab has to analyze the ingredients and a new nutrition information label has to be made.  A new bar code has to be ordered.  Can you imagine the cost to get a new product to the stores?

But if on my site I decide to sell a new product, and package it very simply, who will care as long as it’s gourmet quality?  If I get bored (doubtful) I can make cookies and sell them for a few weeks, or whatever.  You see the possibilities for me here?

So in order to break stores in gently, I mentioned in this month’s newsletter that I’m going to curtail wholesale sales.  That way, I can produce less, and enjoy it way more.  Now I just need to get very busy with social media to get people to my site.

And as you know, I’m an idiot with social media.  The learning curve’ll be steep, and once again, no boredom possible around here!

I find unless I make a conscious effort to remember something, I forget it immediately.  The worst thing is when I think of something I have to do just before turning off the light to go to sleep.  I don’t want to get up and write it down, so I have to grasp for other mnemonic aids.

What I now do is place the Ped Egg, which is always on my night table, onto the clock radio.  Then when I wake up and see the Ped Egg, I know I have to remember something important.  It may take me a while to recall what it is, but it helps to know I’m supposed to be remembering something.

Last evening I went out for chicken wings at a pub near Kathy’s house.  She was there along with our other friend, Sharon.  I drank two nice glasses of Gray Monk Gewurtz in the two hours we were there, and ate the wings.  Then when I got home, I thought oh what the hell, and had a small glass of wine.

Well!  Six Advil and one Gravol later, and I’m able to sit up and type.  I think it’s probably time for me to admit I’m as delicate as an African violet, and just stop drinking.  How  brave of me to have persevered for so long, eh?

Okay, one or two glasses is now my maximum, as when one lives in the Okanagan Valley, going without wine just seems foolish.  One of my fav’s, and one which you can probably only get here, is a Gewurtz made by Okanagan Vineyards of Oliver.  I think it’s around $8.00, which is crazy cheap.

Just so you can walk a mile in my shoes, I’m going to list the debris left behind from a 24-hour eating extravaganza of Nicky’s.  This isn’t unusual, by the way.

There were empty boxes of Viva Puffs cookies, sweet and salty granola bars, President’s Choice granola bars, a medium-sized bag of potato chips, a large Orange Julius cip, Snack Pack pudding containers, a can of ravioli with a spoon standing upright in the empty can, and a squeeze bottle of Golden Syrup which Nicky said he just likes to drink.

To keep costs down, I also bake.  I made a banana loaf, extra large bran muffins and tried a new recipe for apple sauce muffins.  All of the home-baked goods are eaten the day they’re made.  And still, the hunger continues unabated.

I e mailed mom that I hoped he didn’t contract some sort of worm while in the Caribbean, as he remains as tall and skinny as Ichabod Crane.  I’m eating Lean Cuisine for lunch, and can grab handfuls of lard around my stomach, so don’t feel any of this is fair.

I was happy to receive an order from a local women who wanted one of each of the things I make.  I delivered then to her house, and she gave me a tip for the delivery!  Some people are so nice.  Then I also received a call from someone going to visit her sister in Vancouver and she wants to take some products to her as well.

Thank God I work from home, is all I can say, as I would not do well in an office today.

I just had one of those ‘friendly’ discussions at the all-women gym.  The topic of exercise and weight loss came up, and I pointed out that you can exercise all you want, but until you stop stuffing your pie hole you’re not going to lose weight.  Of course, there’s always someone in the crowd who wants to argue with me.

One of the members said, “I’d gain weight if I didn’t come to the gym.”  I said if I never came to the gym, and ate very little food, I would lose weight.  I told her I have come to the gym, eaten like a horse, and remained fat.  It was only when I joined Weight Watchers and stopped shovelling in the calories that the fat came off.

Of course I’m a strong proponent of exercise, and would never stop doing it.  But facts are stubborn things.  You can exercise all you like, but if you’re eating like Kirstie Alley, you’re going to end up resembling her in short order.

As you know, I’m trying to gather information from mom so I can write her biography.  Whenever I go to Osoyoos I make her tell me another two or three pages’ worth of things that happened.  That’s the easy part.  The hard part will be turning it into something readable.

And now another person is trying to write her own memoir, and asked if I would help her with it.  I met Ilona 20 years ago when Susan and I started Rucastle and Schiller Workskills, Ltd.  Our first contract was to help new immigrants find jobs.

Ilona and her husband Lajos were among our first participants.  She was a pharmacist and he was a television journalist in former Yugoslavia.  We somehow managed to finagle a job for her as a pharmacy tech at a local drug store.  I hadn’t seen or heard from her in 20 years, and on Sunday she called me.

She said she’d had a brain tumour removed last year, and had survived in tact and wanted to tell her story.  So we meet for lunch at Joey’s yesterday and I gave her whatever tips I know from my own writing project.  I told her to start to write, send it to me, and I’ll edit it for her.  It could be an interesting experience.

A nice woman named Tracey came to talk to me for a study she’s doing on behalf of the Economic Development Commission.  When she phoned I immediately tried to get out of it, as I said I don’t know anything that will help.  However, she said piffle to that, and made an appointment.

She arrived at the appointed time on Monday afternoon, and proceeded to ask me questions for their survey on local businesses.  It must be so disappointing for her to hear answers like this to normal questions.
Tracey: Do you have a business plan?
Me: No.

I always find it hard to explain the business.  I just said to her if I would devote myself to it, it would be a huge success.  But I said I also have to go to the gym, write, work in the house and yard, cook, and go to Osoyoos to visit mom and Gerry.  Give me Martha’s staff, and I will rule the world!