New Christmas Formats

For the first time in 31 years, I have an artificial Christmas tree which I bought at thrift.  It was so easy to do I wonder why I struggled with the live trees for so long, and once decorated it doesn’t look too bad.  No one’s going to be here to see it given the kids are in Osoyoos and Grand Forks so won’t be coming to Kelowna.  I also have about a quarter of the usual froufrou out, didn’t even open some of the Tupperware containers labelled Christmas Decorations, and feel fab about it all.

I now see the amount of rejected ornaments in thrift as a sign of things to come as I don’t want most of the stuff I’ve accumulated over the decades.  I have more ceramic Santas than any normal person needs and why the dozens of pieces of the little Christmas Village that seemed so cute at the time?

Besides simplifying Christmas, another idea I stumbled upon was to use my mom’s cemetery plot, already paid for in Osoyoos, and which she doesn’t want.  I’ll then be buried (or interred I should say) beside my dad, and near my grandparents, and also old time Osoyans with whom I think I would like to spend eternity.  I mentioned it to the reunion women and Penny said she had a slightly used urn and I said I’ll take it as how dirty can it be, plus as a thrifty person, why waste that?

This weekend as I go to Osoyoos I have two interesting desserts planned.  Remember that old pineapple and whipping cream in a Graham cracker shell dessert from the 70’s?  I’m making that, plus an egg nog tres leches cake which sounds kind of interesting.  I’m adding to the plight of the oceans by buying two bags of probably the last wild shrimp in the Pacific, but I can’t eat the farmed as I’ve seen too many documentaries on it.

You may recall Denis put up the Christmas lights on this house every year for the past 31, but since he moved to Midway, he’s balking and so Calvin the tenant and I are going to try and figure it out ourselves.  I’m fine when it comes to downsizing the decorations inside, but I really insist on outdoor lights for the month of December.

Another new and interesting Christmas development is my group of friends I like to refer to as The Crones have decided not to exchange gifts anymore.  It’s always such a struggle to try and buy stuff for people who just go out and buy whatever they want.  And we’re all so peculiar at this age we only like certain things so it’s really impossible, and this was a welcome idea to all.

You know how I love free things so one thing I never miss is the local Global news as I get that channel with just my rabbit ears so it’s free.  I’d kind of forgotten about it as I mostly watch You Tube or Netflix when one day Justin was playing with the remote and that channel came on.  I said to Nick I forgot I used to get free TV!

Alzheimer’s?  Maybe but more likely the usual eccentricity of the aged.  When I watch the weatherman I notice his jacket pulls when he buttons it, so I sent him a very nice message on Facebook saying I think just one size larger would look so much better.  Then I posted it on Facebook and strangely, few people gave a rat’s ass about it.

As we get wiser we realize we can do with so much less, and perhaps that’s the message of the too tight sports jacket, saving on fabric is the future of fashion.

I’m Now Solidly Part of the Problem

We were very fortunate in this area as I recall our thrift stores were only closed for a few weeks last spring, so I’ve always shopped and didn’t notice too much of the pandemic.  Imagine my surprise to find I’ve now discovered on-line shopping, am doing it, and now enjoy looking out and seeing yet another naughty Amazon box on my doorstep.  Hence someone who was part of shopping for only recycled stuff has now begun to order from God Knows Where.

Two defences come to mind: lack of supply and laziness.  All we hear is how container ships can’t get unloaded, and no one can get anything they want, so I keep testing this theory and nope, not the case with old Mr. Bezos as anything I’ve ordered so far comes within a couple of days.  No supply issues here.

Imagine slogging into Wal Mart or Toys R Us and trying to find that one particular toy, then getting home, oops wrong toy, returning there and asking for the one you want, which they’ll tell you they don’t have.  You see how one falls into Amazon’s deadly trap?

And then the laziness excuse is because if I want a certain item, as today when I wanted a pair of binoculars, I know I won’t find them in short order at thrift.  So instead of going a dozen times over a few weeks I cave and hit Send Order feeling slightly guilty. The punishment is always that for the next several visits, whatever I’ve purchased will be there by the dozen.

Margaret and I went to Grand Forks last weekend and it was a sunny fall day so the drive was really lovely.  It’s two and a half hours on winding highway so not really something I can see myself doing once the bad weather sets in.  I’d made lasagne and a banana cream pie, so upon arrival I saw a good bit of the pie had decided to shift over almost in danger of leaving the pan entirely.

Two days prior I was in Osoyoos and had made chicken Marbella which is always received with cries of joy from Luke and Jan, and followed that with Lulu Hulton’s apple cake.  It’s actually a loaf, and made with two cups of unpeeled, grated apples so quite moist.  However as usual, mom didn’t find it to her liking because only Apfel Kuchen is apple cake, and that wasn’t it.

I made salted caramel sauce to put onto the warm cake and then we had maple walnut ice cream on top of that so that was quite a luscious sugar hit.  Jan doesn’t eat desserts however the three of us ate it, and I thought it was good as did Luke.  But then what do we know?

I seem to have gained eight pounds since starting to watch both The Great Chocolate Showdown as well as the Great Canadian Baking Show.  And God knows I haven’t been making any of those desserts however it stokes the appetite for any chocolate or carbohydrate in the house.

I’m off to Hawaii in February so cannot go with this excess fat, so back to keto.  In any case I can’t face Christmas with this carcass.  Meanwhile I noticed my reef shoes are a mess so may browse on-line for a new pair.  Sure, I could toss the dice at thrift, or even at a sporting goods store, but instead choose to wantonly order.  Tsk!

Car Ruined At Oil Change Shop

Elsa and I had planned to go to Grand Forks to visit the kids this weekend, so I thought I’d better get the winter tires on as it was raining, and Nick said they were almost bare and not great even on wet surfaces, never mind snow.  Because it’s been mild weather winter tires were the last thing on my mind, so I hadn’t made an appointment at a tire place but recalled Pennzoil on Harvey Avenue, now The Great Canadian Oil Change, advertised tire changeovers.

I had Calvin load the tires into my car and waited at the shop until it was my turn.  One stays in the vehicle and so I was quite amazed and shocked at the very loud blows the car was getting to all four wheels.  The car shook as the sledgehammers crashed into it, and I thought wow, I’ve never seen Nick struggle like this with my tires, so I wonder what’s going on.

A kid opened my door and said the winter tires didn’t fit.  I said well that’s odd as my son’s put them on in the past, but they insisted, no they didn’t so put my summers back on and loaded the winters into my car.  I drove off confused as in the past when Nick’s done my tires there’s been little difficulty.

Going the short distance to Superstore was okay however coming down Benvoulin where one can go 80 KPH I heard a terrible sound in the back of my car.  It scared me so I headed straight home and told Calvin to test drive the car to see what he thought.  He came in afterward and said “your car is f.ed.”  However he didn’t use just the letter f.

I phoned The Great Canadian Oil Change and spoke to Gavin the manager, who said the hub caps were so badly rusted on any shop would’ve had to sledgehammer the car like that.  I said look.  There’s damage to my car, I’m taking it into a mechanic, and I want you to pay for it.  He said not to drive the car, however also asked if I could return with it for them to look at, and then go to a mechanic, and I said okay.

I’m certainly not returning there for them to ever touch anything on my car again, however want to follow all the steps in case we end up in Small Claims Court.  I’m now at home, no trip to Grand Forks, and no ability to drive anywhere at all thanks to these people.  Who sledgehammers a car’s wheels so hard the whole vehicle shakes?

Then I stupidly thought the awful knee pain was largely behind me and started to do yoga again which caused a flare-up so the past few nights I’ve been awake with the stabbing pains on the inside of my knee.  I guess I should read the signs, and just stay on the couch, eating as much as I can while I watch my new favourite show on Netflix, The Great Canadian Baking Show.

My second favourite occurs on Sunday late afternoon on Global called the Chocolate Showdown.  Between the two of them you’re compelled to eat as much sweetened food as you can possibly get down your gullet.  It’s part of the experience, though whatever you’re eating is dreck compared to what the people on both shows make.

So here I am, marooned, and had e mailed Elsa saying she’ll have to drive me to the store on Monday, to which she replied she’s hit a curb and blew a tire so is also incapacitated.  I tell ya, the signs are clear as glass: do nothing.

Another Successful Crone’s Party

Yesterday I had three friends over for Sharon’s birthday dinner and it was all very nice.  I made a salad, followed by a chicken dish, rice, mashed sweet potatoes, carrots and a sweet and sour cucumber salad.  Dessert was a pumpkin pie, which stunk as I put too much spice in it, plus it was kinda mucky so could’ve used more time in the oven.

Despite that the evening was enjoyed by all and we had the pleasure of discussing the types of things crones like to analyze which include recalcitrant children, ex-husbands, knee pain, and the strangeness of Covid rules.  We wondered why we must be vaccinated to enter a restaurant, yet those who work there don’t have to be.  The mysteries of a pandemic.

And I have news to announce. I now have a boarder in the basement suite.  Luke met Calvin during their two-year computer diploma program at the college, and I’d met Calvin a few times at the house.  As he seemed to be a decent person, I suggested to Luke he might be the kind of renter I could stand.

So far so good in that he’s very clean, tidy and quiet, plus loves dogs and cats, so that’s all excellent.  Last night once we’d eaten I took a plate of food down for Calvin because he’s just 23 and I presume, very hungry.  I took down the rest of the soggy pie covered in whip so I hope he ate that, too.

My entrance hall now holds four gigantic containers of dirt, each with a single bamboo stick in them.  Why?  Because mom wouldn’t allow Jan to bring her plants in from the deck so they would’ve frozen outside.  Mom said they were far too ugly, so Jan had resigned herself to the fact they’d soon be dead.

When I heard that I said oh no you don’t, and told her to wrap them in plastic bags and put them on the back of Luke’s pickup and bring them to Kelowna.  They had to come yesterday for her braces’ adjustment at the orthodontist, so they brought the four behemoths in, and I went wow, those really are large.

Jan explained bamboo is good luck to Thais, and so how could I let them all die like that, especially when she’d cut down her lovely bamboo tree to make these four?  The reason for that was mom said the plant was just so ugly, and wouldn’t stop going on about it, and so Jan said fine and cut it down.  You can see why I just couldn’t let those four pieces go.

I’m fortunate I don’t have to say more than three or four words to friends, and they’re not at all disturbed about it.  I told Petra my entrance looks bad due to these huge pots and she replied well it’s not supposed to be a show home ya know, so with friends like that I can roll with the punches.  Once their modular home finally arrives the plants will be returned to Osoyoos.

This morning my first task was the dishes from the crones, and even though I don’t use my dishwasher it took no more than an hour for the house to look like nothing had even occurred the night before.  The most challenging part of it has been trying to get the white couch’s cover back on as it’s one of those puzzles for which one needs a physics degree.

Last Dip, Large Tip

I don’t like to swim in cold water at the best of times, but will do it if I know I’m going to be snorkeling and seeing amazing tropical fish.  To suddenly be in Osoyoos Lake on the Labour Day weekend was an unexpected last dip for the season.  And if I may be totally honest with you, the only dip of the season as swimming in the lake holds zero appeal.

Luke bought himself a really adorable older motor boat, and he’s very proud of it and wanted to show it off.  Our friends Jim and Fede were in Osoyoos visiting mom over the weekend, so when I showed up Luke talked the three of us into taking a boat ride with him.  I fought it long and hard saying it wasn’t a hot day, the lake wasn’t calm enough, but in the end he forced his hand.

We hauled the boat to a launch area down near the Inkaneep Lodge Motel, and Fede and I got into the boat on the shore, and Luke pushed it out and hopped in.  Jim then drove the truck and trailer back to mom’s property and walked down to the lake where Luke said we’d pick him up.

Luke could only get within several metres of shore so Jim had to wade out and he’s one of these hilarious people whose feet are obviously made of paper as the rocks were killing him every step of the way.  Finally he was about waist deep and able to clamber into the boat and we took off across the lake at a high rate of speed.

Because of the waves the boat did that womp womp womp thing but nonetheless it wasn’t cold so we enjoyed looking around at the scenery.  We arrived at a sandy beach across the lake which was pretty busy with tourists and their very fancy expensive boats and a lot of gals with long blonde hair, tans, and thong bathing suits.

Once tired of it all we returned to mom’s lakeshore lot and Luke said okay mom you have to hop out.  I said hop out?  Into the lake?  I was wearing a bra, underpants, capri shorts, a blouse and sandals.  This was the place where Jim had waded out to, so I knew it would be around waist deep for me.

I said oh crap, and took off my blouse and shorts, and then handed my sandals to Jim who was already in the lake.  I said “sorry about this underwear I would’ve worn a really good pair had I known” and hopped into the lake, and sure enough it was waist deep.  I waded to shore and ran to mom’s with my waded up clothing in my hands, shoes in the other.

Way more fun ensued as we all went to the French restaurant Convivia in Osoyoos.  It was one of those crazy nights whereby everyone was in high spirits, so a lot of drinks were ordered.  Cosmopolitans, White Russians, Caesars, Margaritas, a bottle of wine, more rounds of the same cocktails.

It was super busy so we ordered two platters of calamari and then Jim said let’s get escargot too, so we said hell why not.  Then came our food, and mine was steak frites, the fries cooked in duck fat.  Everyone reported their food as good.

Naturally Spanish Coffees were needed all around afterward and then mom handed me her purse and credit card and I looked at the bill but kept a neutral look on my face: $450.  Tip at 20% and you’ve got yourself one helluva nice restaurant bill.

Knee Hell Teaches me a Lesson

You’ll recall I ended my last blog with a lament about a painful knee.  This has now gone on since and it’s really making me mad, though just like the pandemic, in some ways I have to admit it’s been wonderful.  Sometimes it takes a major event to slap you across the face and wake you up.

Because of the stabbing pain in my inner knee I’ve had to withdraw from life given everything, especially driving, has been too painful.  As a result I had to find something to do, other than haunt the local thrift stores looking for treasures.  Thanks to prior thrift shopping I have a library at home, so I thought, hey, I’ll read.

Well.  Once I started it was hard to stop and now I’ve read several excellent memoirs and learned something valuable at the same time.  I don’t need to be doing something all of the time, and it’s actually okay and morally correct to spend days and even weeks doing very little. Or is that the lazy person’s guide to excusing your laziness?

I like watching survival documentaries on You Tube and saw one about a guy who was stranded on a log in a marsh, unable to get to his anchored boat.  He had no shelter so cursed the terrible winds and rain that would torture him day and night.  Because of the rain he had water as the marsh was salty.

But due to the wind the boat was torn loose and disappeared, and so of course he was in deep despair the morning he realized it.  However, because of that his boat was found by the Coast Guard who soon started a search and rescued him.  He said the wind and rain, which were his enemies, turned out to be his salvation.  Not that knee pain makes anyone say hallelujah, but the slowing-down does feel nice at times.

You know how we wait all winter for a lovely summer?  I used to love summers but now I long for the other three seasons as the forest fire smoke and heat, plus the incessant garden watering are getting tiresome.  I’ll take Kelowna over Kabul any day, don’t get me wrong, but we’ve made such a mess of the environment that summers are basically ruined.

And speaking of watering, I guess people in this neighbourhood have been getting some whopping bills now that the area’s been put on water meters.  My electricity bill scared me a bit as it’s now up a hundred a month for the pump that runs the well, so no matter what you do, you pay and pay and pay.

Another thing that I dislike about summer is the shape of the male cat’s coat due to his hunting.  His throat was one big scab which is now healing, and he has smaller scabs on his back, I guess all from his nest-raiding.  Because Frieda’s such a dirty little dog she loves to nibble at George’s scabs and the cat loves it, purring away.

My friend Patricia was over for lunch last month and of course Iris the female cat decided it’d be so amusing to jump onto the table.  I had to do that ‘oh my God, the cat never, ever does that’ routine, though she didn’t fall for it.  Living with animals is a dirty business, for sure.

Modular Home coming to Osoyoos

It’s that time of year when I have bouquets of my gigantic dahlia blooms about, and that’s good as I need something calming upon which to focus.  God knows I faithfully do my yoga every morning, and this always involves mindful breathing, but sometimes one has to go beyond yoga and flowers for inner peace.

Why?  Because mom, Luke and Jan are currently cohabiting and it’s going to end in some kind of a Waco Texas event if we’re not careful.  There could be mayhem and then the police will have to be called in to break it all up. Remember when we all went hey, that’s so great Luke’s going to live with his 96-year-old gramma?

A brilliant solution came which involved putting a nice little modular home on mom’s property, then Luke and Jan could live there, caretaking from a few meters away rather than right in the house.  I began the process of attaining a building permit in February.

I got the building permit checklist and felt my blood run cold as I’ve never done this before and checklists that involve words like “Effective thermal resistance compliance method” with boxes for me to check.  Huh?  I knew I needed help, and was fortunate to get it all along the way.

Finally everything in the checklist was done, and it was somewhat more onerous given mom lives in the Regional District, not the town, yet I had to also go to the Town of Osoyoos for permits for water and sewer hook-up as they provide that along mom’s road. Then as the lot is still in the Agriculture Land Reserve, it had to be less than 1000 square feet and had to be a specific kind of modular home.

On June 21st I drove to Penticton with my completed application and just as I was about to go in a man walked ahead of me, so was next at the desk, and I had to wait.  He was on a rant about how no one had told him he needed some specific thing, and now four or six weeks later he found out so was this far behind in his building project.  They calmly explained to him all he had to do was call or look at their site, so he left in a huff.

I was scared as I walked up to them as I thought dear God, I must’ve forgotten something too, but no.  Each department came out and gave it a once-over and said yes indeed, it’s all good to go into the queue, and we’ll let you know in six to eight weeks’ time if you got a permit or not.

Last week I got an e mail saying yes indeed, I got it, so now we wait as Lakeridge Homes said due to supply delays thanks to Covid it won’t come until December 22nd! Hence the double Caesars followed by the double Margaritas as we wait, hopefully without incident.

The ligaments around my knees have been acting up and I have no idea what I’m doing to cause that, but for the last three days the pain has been extreme which is so annoying.  Saturday night I was in Osoyoos and I think I might’ve finally fallen asleep at 4:00 due to the knee pain, then imagine my annoyance to have Frieda’s wet cold nose pressed onto my closed eye at 6:00 AM.

Another excellent reason for self-medication with tequila, though I had to resort to Tylenols 3’s last night as the pain is akin to a screwdriver being stabbed into the inner part of my left knee.  Oh well, into every life a little rain must fall.

An Awful Lot of Restaurants

It was my birthday July 13th, and even though a very unimportant number, I seem to have had an awful lot of celebrations.  It began with Margaret taking me out to the Orchard Room which is a Mexican restaurant though one wouldn’t guess that from the name.

They make an interesting browned butter banana infused rum daiquiri that Margaret and I both loved.  One thing I like are two-ounce drinks, as otherwise how do you know for sure you’re drinking any alcohol?  These were, and I can vouch for both the strength and deliciousness.

This was followed by a Happy Hour invitation from Kathy to the Cactus Club, then a dinner with The Crones at the Eldorado, courtesy of Donna which was insane as the Eldorado doesn’t mind charging $43 a plate for an entrée.

I hadn’t seen my friend Lorraine in ages, so she and I met at Earls for their Happy Hour and it was also lovely with Margaritas and chicken tacos.  Sadly, they opt for the 1.5- ounce cocktail but one has to compromise at times.  I still think Earls is one of the nicest venues in Kelowna as you overlook the lake.

Last weekend Margaret and I went to the Famoso Pizzeria and Bar and had their fettuccine Alfredo which was nice.  The next day Marie took me to Milestones for lunch where we both horked down burgers and fries, and as it was supposedly my birthday (long gone, but it was my celebratory lunch with Marie) I got a complimentary piece of chocolate ganache torte which we shared but were still too full.

You’d think well, that should satisfy the woman for a while, but no, as I believe tomorrow Kathy and I plan to go to Smack Dab.  How this will all end weight-wise is anyone’s guess. 

I had an interesting learning experience today, as my built-in vacuum stopped working and I had to call the repairman.  He pointed out the amount of white powdery diatomaceous earth spread out in the basement to prevent ants could be the cause of the pooched motor. 

Not sure if I mentioned this but Nicky’s partner has a phobia about ants, so the basement had to be sealed with tape, silicone, and then surrounded by mounds of this white powder.  I guess when it enters a motor it will seize.

The repairman had to turn off the power to the house as he didn’t know which breaker went to the vacuum, and as I was in the midst of washing dishes, I turned on the tap but no water.  Then I went oh of course, with the well, it requires a pump and that requires electricity.  This naturally made my blood run cold as I thought what if there’s a fire and the power is turned off; I won’t have any water.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.  Now I can water at will, but if there’s no power then I can’t water at all.  It’s funny the kinds of things you never think of until you’re right in the midst of it.

Pretty Much Ga Ga With Anticipation

I’m so proud of Nick as he bought a house in Grand Forks and will be moving in about ten days!  I’m just amazed at the amount of changes I’ve endured in 2021.  First Luke and Jan moved in with mom in Osoyoos, then Denis sold his house and moved to Midway, and now Nick and family off to Grand Forks.

Dare I think it?  I might be done with parenting just a hair short of 32 years.  All family will now reside a couple of hours away in Osoyoos and Boundary country, also known as the Kettle Valley.  All three towns lie on the same latitude so will be very hot in the summer, especially for Nick with no air conditioning in their 70-year-old house.

I on the other hand will be wondering what the heck life is all about as I’m on my own for the first time in several decades.  As I type I’ve put whitening strips on my teeth so perhaps will decide to immerse myself in useless nonsense for the foreseeable future.

Carl the handyman is outside replacing the cement and bricks that got torn out for the electrical lines from the well to the pump installed in the basement.  It was quite amusing for the first few days as when I stood near the electrical panel I could hear frying sounds coming from it.

I phoned the electrician who said frying sounds weren’t good, and he had to come and upgrade my electrical panel.  I wasn’t surprised, given absolutely anything and everything that could break has gone ahead and done so.

My friend Beverly and her pug Charlie came for a visit during the heat dome and it nearly killed the dog.  That breed is designed to have no breathing apparatus whatsoever, and they appear unable to open their mouths very wide, so he was gasping for every bit of air he could get into his system.  It’s a curious thing the American Kennel Club and their penchant for what’s “standard” in a particular breed.

I invited Margaret and the basement dwellers for dinner while Bev was here and made butter chicken which everyone ate with great joy.  The next night for something completely different I made traditional Wiener Schnitzel for the two of us.

Thanks to having the well I can water whenever I see the need for it, and I notice my neighbourhood has now gone to brown lawns.  People used to water, but now with meters I think it’s just not worth it.   I on the other hand can’t stand a brown lawn, so mine is doing pretty well although in the Okanagan keeping anything green is a challenge.

I don’t espouse wasting water on something like a lawn, however I’m adverse to having the whole place burn down so prefer having some moisture about, especially as the place is ringed with tall Ponderosa pines.  The ground underneath them is thick with pine needles so you can use your imagination.

I got out a couple of Tupperware containers and thought I’d better pack just essentials in case of sudden fire evacuation, then went berserk trying to decide what I’d actually want to save.  I know I need my laptop, passport and accordion file of paperwork, but other than that, what do I “need”?  As a result I just gave up entirely and decided to leave it to the fates.

A lot of Projects on Hall Road

As I type the asphalt’s being repaired on the driveway.  There was a wide strip removed for the electrical to the well’s pump and that was a mess to drive over.  Last week the nice people of Redline Bobcat came to re-do my upper driveway in crush, and then level the lower garden area and remove the gigantic rocks.

Then I casually went and took a water sample in and imagine my surprise to have areas of their report in red such as the coliform count!  I of course have been drinking great gobs of the neighbours’ urine and feces thinking my, this water tastes to so good.  Now I know why. 

I was contacted by a super nice neighbour who told me to shock the well, then have the water re-tested.  This just means pouring bleach into the well and pumping a hose in and letting the water run for three hours.  Then back to the lab for more testing, and if it’s still not clean, get a reverse osmosis device or UV filter.  It’ll work, it just takes research, time and money.

Last week was particularly hilarious as I decided to browse Value Village for a bit of R and R.  I came home to Nicky carrying wet towels out onto the deck railing, saying “the hot water tank finally packed it in.  Oh yeah, and the Internet’s not working, too.”

Apparently a Shaw technician had come along and turned off our Internet, then drove off.  I spent the rest of that day on hold, then arguing with various people as to why I can’t wait one week for my Internet to be turned back on.  As soon as the first person suggested that I demanded a supervisor.

The supervisor did the “I’m really sorry about that” thing, and I replied “I don’t see how that’s will help, so let’s just brainstorm the ways I might get the Internet back immediately.”  For some reason, this being a communication company, they couldn’t comprehend that by turning off my Internet, they turned off my landline, and I don’t have a cell phone.

I used Nicky or Ayumi’s cell phones for my calls to Shaw, but they’re about to move, so what do I do then, walk to a neighbour to call 911?  No matter what, Shaw just couldn’t fully understand when I said I was a senior living on my own, with no ability to call 911.  They were all like, wow, sorry about that.

Finally by noon the next day someone at Shaw Cable seemed to comprehend I needed a phone, so they returned and restored my Internet.  They had turned it off due do people complaining of “noise in the line.”  I said but why not tell the homeowner you’re doing that?  What a strange company.

Then this is the hilarious part, but I’d asked for a supervisor to call me back about not having a phone.  Once the Internet was restored I checked messages and saw someone from Shaw had left one on the phone which wasn’t working!  Can you picture that? 

There’s likely a small animal trapped under the steps outside as the dachshunds have been barking there for the past three hours, so that’s been a good distraction from the asphalt truck.  Not so great for the neighbours though.