I’m now back in my ‘office’ and it’s wonderful.  The desk is under an east-facing window so in the morning I’m bathed in happy sunlight as I type.  Luke left for Calgary on Thursday night, even though I was screaming at him not to leave at night when it’s easy to fall asleep while driving.  Kids just seem to want to worry their mothers to death, no matter how old they get.

Denis had eight brothers (now six remain) and two sisters, Margaret and Monica.  Monica lives in San Diego and arrived on Thursday as there’s a mini Doyle version of the movie, “Wild Hogs” taking place over the next week.  Four of them are riding on motorcycles up to Bella Coola, then taking the ferry to Port Hardy to meet up more Doyles. Denis and Monica are two of the motorcyclists, and I must admit I had to smile and thank God that I don’t do that kind of thing as they drove off yesterday morning in a steady drizzle.

The weather was nice the night before, when Monica arrived, so we ate el fresco.  My favourite produce stand is open again, and so I got an assortment of local veggies for our repast.  I made eggplant parmesan with extra garlic, and bruschetta with Walla Walla onions, tomatoes, basil from my herb garden and tons of garlic.  Green beans are now in abundance, so I steamed some of those.  The tiny new potatoes are ready, so I fried those in butter and served them with sour cream.  Denis barbecued steaks to go with it all.

So here I am.  Only Nicky to torture me, as Denis is off on the Doyle-O-Rama, and Luke is God Knows Where.  The house is very clean, and very quiet.  To treat myself, I went to Winners for a bit of R & R.  As a result, I can say I have pulled off a feat of sheer genius – I concocted something that can be worn as a bathing suit, but isn’t one.  You know how when you wear a bathing suit it outlines every row of fat in your back and makes for a tummy so round and shiny you want to bounce quarters off it?

Here is what I consider Nobel Prize-worthy.  I looked through tank tops until found some made with polyester and spandex, hence bathing suit material.  I then found a plain black bathing suit bottom.  I tried on tops with the bottom until I found one that is fantastic.  Loose in the back and front, looks just like a bathing suit, except NO FAT is outlined anywhere!  If you’re weeping as you read this, just know that it is possible to wear a ‘bathing suit’ again.

Isn’t the labour shortage making for interesting times?  Out of the blue, a person from Telus phoned Nicky, and offered him a job at $24/hr!  Denis and I agreed that the environment there will probably be more conducive to his strict adherence to Labour Standards when it comes to taking breaks.  In German, there’s a saying that means, “a blind pig found an acorn!”  It is said whenever an idiot stumbles onto something good.  I told Nicky, and he loved it!

Word of mouth is the slowest way to grow a business, but I’ve read it’s really the best.  So, I was quite happy to get a phone call this week from a woman in Vancouver who had bought my fruitcakes several months ago at the Osoyoos Home Hardware.  She had gone ga ga over the Totally Decadent, so was ordering a few for her 50th wedding anniversary.

Then, I got a call from a woman who’d tried it a couple of years ago at Christmas, and who wanted some for her wedding.  Luckily, I was able to convince the bride that cutting and wrapping the individual pieces herself was really the economical way to go.  Probably a far better approach than telling the bride that I am just too easily pushed into insanity if I have to cut and wrap the 102 pieces myself.

Which reminds me of the shock I fell at people not being able to make very simple foods themselves.  Why in the name of God in Heaven would one buy a prepared Alfredo sauce?  I made a beautiful trotolle and Alfredo sauce for the kids the other day, and it was so easy, even Luke thought he could master it.  If you have butter, whipping cream and parmesan cheese in the house, you can have an Alfredo sauce in a few minutes.  Why would you buy it?

But then, I suppose few people keep cream cheese, sour cream and whipping cream as routinely as they would keep bread and milk.  I just always think of these types of foods as staples.  There are always pounds of butter in the downstairs fridge, as few dishes I serve are made without it.  Really, life is just too short to skimp on these things!

Here’s a new angle for Okanagan Harvest Cake.  My mom’s boyfriend’s son, Gerry Jr., lives in Manhattan and thinks he can sell the product there.  I find the idea adorable, and hope that he can pull a rabbit out of a hat.  You never know, though, stranger things have occurred.

Luke finished his welding course on Friday, so I tentatively asked him when he thought he might be leaving.  He announced that he and his new friend from welding class, Foley, are off to Calgary on Thursday!  Foley is the dear kid who, after awakening from a wild party out in the bush, found two of his front teeth missing.  One can only hope that the two of them are able to find their way in the world.  “Luke and Foley’s Excellent Adventure” coming up!

Now that Luke’s departure is imminent, I had him help me move the furniture around in the room he was in, as it will be my office once again.  I had to move some art around, which always involves large hunks of paint being removed along with the nail.  Not sure how to avoid that, and am certainly not about to ask Denis, as whenever we do any of these ‘projects’ together it ends badly.  Better to just daub felt pen into the holes and say nothing.

I can’t say a word when Nicky comes home filthy from work, as I know I should just be glad that he’s actually working.  He was fired from the nursery where he was working, apparently due to a highly unnecessary union mind-set.  I told him I was shocked and appalled by his behaviour, because when I worked in the fruit stand, you worked whenever you had to, not around a schedule.  He said words to the effect of ‘too bad’, albeit not quite that nicely.

So today when he arrived home black from head to toe from construction labouring, I kept my lip zipped.  As much as possible, that is.  I had to squeak out a “don’t touch the shower curtain, I just washed it.”  I suppose few people would bother with a snow white fabric shower curtain with accompanying white plastic curtain, but there it is.

It must be that I decided that though surrounded by filthy males, I would pretend that I was alone in a cottage in the forest.  I bought only pure-white linens, and decorated with floral wallpaper.  A neighbour marveled at my perseverance even as the old tarped flatbed truck distracted the eye from my nearby container of annuals.  A pile of garbage is always lovingly kept by Denis beside a small garden of hostas.

In the spring, Denis likes to rake into my beds, tearing out tender perennials.  I’ve begged him to stop ‘helping’ me.  Last week he chopped down so much shrubbery in front of the living room window that I now look down onto the ugly road.  While he was doing it, I casually sauntered over, and asked what in the name of God in Heaven he was doing.  However, by then it was too late, and he was saying something about getting light into that corner, to which I replied, “I wonder how my shade plants are going to like it?

Luke will have his Level C welding ticket next Friday, his last day of class.  He has to find a job out of it, but plans to go to Calgary to seek his fame and fortune.  Is this too obvious?  I asked him, “Do you want me to buy you a suitcase?”  It seems horrible, after having given birth to them and all, but at some point the mother animal actually sometimes has to chase the offspring away.

Along with the suitcase, I also have a rosebush on my shopping list.  I finally gave up on a large poppy and am digging it out.  It blooms so briefly, then the plant is cut right down to the ground, exposing huge bare areas.  Some gardeners actually seem to be able to tolerate bare ground, but that’s the one thing I won’t put up with.

So aside from weeping as I re-wash the white shower curtain due to the humungous muddy handprint on it, I focus on the fact that I may actually have one of them launched fairly soon.  I’m not going to celebrate yet, though, as I’ve been burned by that before.

It’s been unseasonably hot, so the roses have been blooming away very happily.  I have one bush that blooms in June, and it’s full of buds as well as mature blooms.  Two days ago we had one of those bouts of heavy rain, and now half of the branches are hanging on the ground, and many of the petals are scattered underneath.  It’s quite wonderful to see a sea of pink petals, as I’m irrational about pink.

I inherited a pink and green Chinese dish from my pal Alison’s mom, and decorated our bathroom around it.  The walls are covered in beautiful pink and green floral designer wallpaper and the back of the door is painted a shell pink.  I went with white for the soaker tub, sinks and toilet, so it looks ultra Victorian.  It’s quite a lot of fun to light all the candles around the tub, fill it with lavender salts and hot water, and just lie there thinking.

 I’ve noticed that working from home has caused a good ten pound weight gain.  You know how when you get home from work and you walk around opening cupboard doors and look into the fridge?  Now imagine doing this 24/7 and you can understand the problem.  When I worked outside the home I would make a healthy salad, eat that at lunch, and be happy until I ate dinner at home.  Now, I see last night’s leftovers, and think, “Why not eat two dinners per day, instead of the silly old one?”

Out of the blue a bride phoned from San Francisco inquiring about wedding favours.  I told her that I was actually trying to get out of the wedding favour business, and she asked why. I explained that cutting up pieces of cake, then cutting little squares of saran wrap, cutting lengths of ribbon, wrapping the cake, and then wrapping it in ribbon makes me crazy. She understood completely, but nonetheless wants her favours.  So, I’m mailing her a sample tomorrow, and then we’ll see if I survive it, as at the end of the call she mentioned that there are 200 guests……

Our niece, Gen, was married last Saturday at a place on the west side of the lake, between Kelowna and Vernon, called Fintry.  It used to be where the steamships docked.  It was unseasonably hot for early June, and the ceremony was held out in the sun.  The chairs were so hot that when we sat, a few people gasped.  It was quite adorable, though, as they had their dog, Riley, as the ring bearer.  When it was time for the ring, they called, “Here boy!” and he bounded over with the rings.

So, this morning when I dumped what looked like leftover milk into the sink from a glass I had found downstairs and discovered that it was solid, I sighed.  It looks like it’ll be years before I go downstairs and no longer find that kind of thing.  Even as I type this Nicky and his friend Jordan are off to register for four long years at UBC Okanagan.

I often tear recipes out of newspapers and magazines, and did the same with a homemade mayonnaise recipe in this month’s Martha mag.  I was quite excited about it, as I recalled making mayonnaise 25 years ago, and loving it.  As I now have my herb planter in full swing, I had my heart set on some mayo with herbs to accompany some lovely wee new potatoes.  Of course part of the excitement is whipping the family into a frenzy of anticipation about it, too.

Imagine my sadness when the oil I drizzled into the eggs refused to become incorporated, instead separating.  I added the requisite tablespoon of lemon juice, so then I had coddled, separated eggs and oil.  Very disappointing, indeed.  Nonetheless, I had to carry on, so just got out the good old Hellmann’s and added the chopped herbs.  Everyone was fine with it, so all was well for that night.

 Because chocolate and mayo have become my life’s companions, I’ve decided the only recourse for this stomach is this season’s short smock, or else a mini tent.  I need an item of apparel that is fitted at the shoulders, then balloons comically over the corpulent middle.  When worn over a fitted pair of shorts, this could work as my legs have remained normal-sized.  When I mentioned to a youngish, thinnish woman the other day that I go to fitness four times a week, I noticed her eyebrows shot up.

Here in Kelowna we’re expecting the Mountain Pine Beetle to come in and eat up all of our trees.  I, however, have decided that I’m not putting up with it, so bought $600 worth of packets of pheromones which one staples to the trees.  They have to be attached at around 3 metres off the ground, so I had to get Denis to help me.  Those projects always turn into a lot of amusement for the neighbours.  At one point I screamed a very bad word at Denis, and then were was a brief flurry of strong language on both sides.  The storm soon blew over, however, and we managed to do 20 trees.

The garden is looking fantastic, though sadly I see that several of the dahlia bulbs I bought this spring are obvious duds.  Some of my over-wintered bulbs are looking good, so it will be a lot of fun to see a familiar bloom in August.  Sometimes when I take them out in November I have the sense to label them, but at other times, I don’t.  Then, I just wing it in May and wonder who is going to be where.

Imagine the force of will required, but I phoned one of my regular customers, the Kelowna Wine Museum, and of course they ordered!  It’s silly, isn’t it, to just sit here feeling bloated when I should be getting out and about and selling like a wild hyena.  Plus, I have a new angle: made and delivered locally.  Yes, I feel I can probably do a nice manageable business right here in our lovely Valley.  Take that, carbon credit junkies.

It’s hard to believe, but I’m finally back with my blog after all this time!  I thought I would go insane as I waited for The Sainted Web Designer to get this set up for me.  I’m now posting my own blog, so this should be interesting.  As I cannot record messages on the answering machine, play a DVD or change a printer cartridge, it amuses me to think that I’m left in charge of publishing my own blog.  Very amusing indeed!

In any case, the summer marketing of Okanagan Harvest Cake has nearly ground to a halt.  It’s shameful, and  I tell myself every day that I’m going to do something about it.  Then I get distracted by the yard (it’s been sunny so I’m out in the garden), or by the mere idea that something in Value Village requires purchasing.  I’ve gotten some pretty sweet things there lately, such as 5 gorgeous blue wine glasses. 

Denis said, “Value Village.  That’s that place in Rutland, right?” as I showed him my various finds the other day.  I said, “Don’t even think about it.  You’re a complete amateur and won’t find a thing.”  As we all know, retail shopping takes a modicum of brains, but thrift store shopping is something best left to the experts.

I reminded Luke that his welding course ends next month,  and asked if he’d sent out any resumes yet.  His reply was “Oh crap! I keep forgetting!”  I find this quite curious, as how can one forget to apply for work?  In any case he told me again how he hated being here, (though he added that he loves us all very much just hates having to witness all of our daily routines) and how much he wanted to get out, to which I replied that this is quite easily accomplished by mailing out some resumes.  Two plus two sometimes just doesn’t add up to four with that kid.

I have just spent over $500 at the vet for Arnie and Mojo.  Mojo had a bad back, Arnie needed a refill of insulin, and  now he’s developed dry eye.  Oh, well what can one do when one’s dogs get old?  Old dear Arnie is now a complete mess, but he’s Mother’s Baby, so I just have to endure the bills. 

Last night Luke and I were desperate for a snack, so I made chocolate mousse.  However, by the time it was all over, I had eaten about half a pound of chocolate, plus a sturdy helping of the mousse.  It was quite good, actually.

Well, onward and upward as I now hit the ‘publish’ button for the first time.  If if works, I will be relentless.

On Thursday morning I casually began slicing and wrapping 135 pieces of Okanagan Harvest Cake to be used as samples in a wine event at The Toasted Oak in Oliver.  One and a half hours later, there was a slick of sweat on my upper lip and my hands trembled slightly, but I was done, and very glad to have it behind me.  I then counted out 135 rack cards and made the lovely drive south to Oliver.  I dropped the samples and cards, and am of course now hopeful for some sales.

The dear people at Hawthorne Mountain Vineyards in Okanagan Falls have said they want to carry the product in their store again this year.  Hurray!  It’ quite remarkable the number of people, even locals, who go to the winery stores, as I’ve had quite a few sales as a result of people finding it there.

The poor people at the tourist information centre in Osoyoos have been browbeaten by my dear mother to try some.  I’ll drop one off to them the next time I’m in the south, which should be sometime this week.  The Okanagan Spring Wine Festival occurs the first four days of May, so I want to get my deliveries made prior to that.

Aside from that, I’m totally ignoring the garden, and pretending that it really doesn’t need anything anyway.  We have a serious watering problem, as both of our outdoor taps are broken, so when you turn on a hose more water pours out at the tap than out of the sprinkler.  I keep large pails under each tap, then use a smaller pail to scoop out water and pour it onto the beds, pretending I’m a medieval peasant.  I wonder how many years it’ll stay like that.

Due to sheer nervous prostration, I decided to see if Winners would have any of the delicious things I’d seen in the recent In Style magazine.  Wouldn’t you know it, but those stinkers had quite a few items.  I bought a gorgeous black jersey paneled skirt that comes with a super-wide belt, and is almost ankle length.  Did you know that black and white is very big this year?  Guess who found a fab black and white jersey wrap dress?

Sadly, Ricky had chewed a hole into my black leather slides, which I wore constantly last summer.  Well you certainly can’t expect me to wear that black skirt or that dress without black sandals can you?  Exactly.  So, off I went to Winners and got a dear pair of Liz Claiborne wedges.  Tres cute.

I do have one truly sweet area of the garden right now, though, and it’s a little hill of periwinkle.  It’s currently in bloom, and is a beautiful sky blue.  In the midst, I planted a flowering almond, and its blossoms are a beautiful cotton candy pink.  I like to just stand there and look at it.  Then I come inside and stare at my garden of shoes, and go, “ain’t life grand?”