You may recall I had said Luke was using Kelowna as his home base for his job on the oil rigs.  He was here for three long weeks in January, then left for Manitoba with great fanfare.  One week later, he was back!  Two days ago, he left for a rig in Saskatchewan.

In between, I’m stocking up on groceries and planning menus, as it’s just like old times.  I have the two boys making their usual demands for meals, and I, the most insane human on Earth, am doing it.  Why?

I guess basically they’re just lucky, as I do love to cook and bake.  So I’m glad to have the opportunity to try new things.  Some don’t work, like the deep fried fish balls I made the other night.  A childhood friend’s mom in Osoyoos made prize-winning fish balls, but she’s dead, so I don’t know how to find Mrs. Stodola’s excellent fish ball recipe.

Today Elsa, an old friend who used to live in this neighbourhood, is coming for lunch.  I’m very excited and made spicy carrot soup for the first course.  Then I made chicken salad comprised of roasted sliced almonds, celery, green onions and chicken.  To accompany this I’m making a quick cheddar cheese bread that has to be served hot.

I also made a batch of chocolate mousse, and put it into five individual bowls.  This caused quite a stir as Nicky saw them and asked if he could eat one.  I said sure.  But then I could just feel him wanting the rest of the bowls, all the way from downstairs.  However, to his credit, all were intact this morning.  Not that Elsa and I will need the four remaining bowls, though you never know.

Like the food consumption, another thing that never changes is the eternal losing of things, and I always get called in for the search.  The other day Luke went mad because his cell phone was missing.  However it was in the most favourite area of lost things: wedged into the couch cushions downstairs.

But it’s okay.  One day I’ll look back wistfully on my three decades of parenting and miss them.  But for now, I do have to laugh at the image of any ‘dating’ on my part in this living arrangment.  Can you picture canoodling on the couch with someone, as Nicky opens the fridge door and says, “We’re out of milk.”  It just doesn’t compute, does it?

I’m kind of excited about taking a bunch of old VHS tapes of the kids and us over the years to one of those joints that turns them into DVD’s.  I cut the ad from the paper years ago, and checked to ensure they’re still in business.  They are, so I’m going to drop 10 tapes and 2 trays of old slides.

The slides are interesting.  One full tray is of my marriage to Stanley in 1980, and the second full tray is of my marriage to Denis in 1985.  I’m going to have them put onto separate DVD’s and then I said to mom, I can watch them whenever the urge to couple hits me.  It’ll help remind me that marriage and I are a poor match.

But I’m a prize-winner as a caretaker of my children, parents, family, friends and pets, so that’s a bonus for them.  And shouldn’t we all concentrate on those things at which we excel?

A nice repeat customer who has some marketing experience gave me a good tip.  She pointed out when she went to my site she had no idea whether or not fruitcake is available outside the normal fruitcake season.  So I’ve asked my web designer to place a statement to that effect right on my main page, and will henceforth incorporate it into every newsletter as well.

I always assume people know fruitcake is available year-round, but we all know how stupid it is to make assumptions.  For example, I assume because Nicky’s 23 years old, when he leaves the house he’ll turn off the TV and lights.  Wrong!

Yesterday, Sunday, all I heard coming from the basement was the constant drone of race cars going around a track.  I presume the kid’s found another video game with which to kill days of time.

For a bit of adventure, I made Kathy, David and Petra accompany me to a talk by Justin Trudeau out at the UBC Okanagan campus last week.  It was great fun, and we were smart to arrive early because we got the last four chairs.  Everyone coming after us had to sit on the floor or stand.

Though not Pierre, the kid has solid Liberal roots and appears honest and patriotic.  We all enjoyed it, and then headed to the ORA restaurant in the Best Western for dinner.  I had my usual Manhattan there, and then as Petra had had a Cosmopolitan, I decided to give that a whirl, too.

That was a mistake, as I had to race out the next day and purchase a bottle of vodka and some cranberry juice.  Now every afternoon at 4:30 I toast my gramma with a beautiful Cosmopolitan.  They’re gorgeous as they’re pink, my favourite colour!

On Saturday I thought oh what the heck, and went to the thrift stores for a bit of R and R.  A week earlier I was talking to Alison and I told her I’m not shopping as I really don’t need a single thing.  She said, “That’ll last six weeks.”  Wrong.  It lasted about seven days.

But imagine my joy at finding the hardcover Antiques Roadshow Primer for $4 at the Mennonite thrift store.  I raced home and started to look at my stuff and went through the book in a day.  I had no idea some of my furniture was that old, but according to the photos of the leg styles and pulls, it is.

You may know mom’s partner Gerry is an artist, and he had several old water colours lying around unframed, which he kindly gave me.  To save money, I decided I’d frame them myself.

Yesterday I overcame my fear of taking apart a framed print to insert my own art.  You know how on the back, there are brackets and screws in the corners?  I carefully disassembled it and removed the hideous art.  Then I took one of Gerry’s lovely water colours and put it into the frame.  Not bad.

I told mom another thing I learned from my Antiques Roadshow book is that Gerry’s style of folk art is valuable.  I can’t believe the amount of stuff I learned from a $4 purchase!

Luke left for the oil patch, so it’s back to just Nicky and me batchin’ together on Hall Road.  Luke’s an eating machine, so it’ll be kind of nice not to have to be at the store every other day.  Though as you know, I love to have a reason to cook and bake, so it’s my own fault.

Liz’ memorial was held on Saturday and I brought the baked goods for the event.  I had so much fun making all of the stuff.  I made white fudge with pistachios and dark fudge with marshmallows.  Liz’ favourite meringues, some chocolate chunk cookies and shortbread cut into cute shapes and topped with colourful sprinkles.

Afterward mom and I drove to Osoyoos together, and I spent the night.  Gerry remains an inspiration.  He’ll be 98 in March but there he was, downing a double Scotch before dinner, like always.  We had a pleasant evening, and then I drove home on Sunday.

Luke had left that morning, so I didn’t see him, but did see either his or Nicky’s handiwork when I opened the lower cupboard door in the kitchen. Someone had broken the top shelf of the lazy Susan.  That kind of thing puts me into a murderous rage.

When Nicky came upstairs I told him about my discovery, and he did the old, “I noticed that.”  Do you know at 23 and 26 years of age, nothing has changed with those kids?  I said,”well if you didn’t break it, then Luke must’ve.”  I’ll have to e mail Luke and ask him, and he’ll reply, “yeah, I noticed that.”

My goal for the next while is to study my portfolio and try to learn about stocks and investing.  This is going to be one of my greatest challenges, as I’m starting from zero.  I have adorable Joe Miller helping me and if I don’t learn, I’ll let him down, and I can’t do that.

If you’re reading this and still have mutual funds, transfer them immediately into a self-directed portfolio.  Think of the amount you pay for commission for the hands-off help you’re getting for that.  We pay more attention to celebrity gossip or sports scores than we do to the most important thing for most people, our financial well-being.

But to get to the financial well-being, I’ve had to institute a strict savings program, so I’m not shopping.  This leads to hours of spare time, as you can imagine.  It came in handy this past week as I had to gather all of my paperwork for the accountant.  I’ve also finished a couple of books.

I’m now reading the memoir Pinboy, by George Bowering, who attended the same high school my mother, brother and I did.  It gives me tremendous joy to read the names of old principals and teachers I used to know.  It sure makes me want to write memoirs of my life in the South Okanagan, too.

But of course I won’t, being the World’s Greatest Procrastinator.  Instead, I’ll decide a closet needs to be cleaned out, or I’ll have to re-arrange the art in a room.  Perhaps I’ll have the strength to actually paint a room or two.  I doubt it.

Instead, I’ll probably just daydream about spring as I walk my tiny dog around the block.

Remember how having one adult male to take care of bothered me?  Surprise!  Now I have two of them, and there’s no end in sight.  When Luke came home on December 31st he said he would be called to work any day.  I said well get down to Osoyoos ASAP to visit gramma in case you get called this week.

He raced down to spend the day with gramma and Gerry on January 1st, then got sick with a cold, so I could certainly understand not being able to go to the rigs.  But now we’ve all recovered from the cold, and I’m saying to him daily, “When are you leaving?”

We’re now two weeks into it, and I’m sorry to say my patience is wearing out.  Yesterday their pals Taylor and Chris spent the day gaming in the basement with Nicky and Luke.  At dinnertime I said to them, “I thought it was horrible having one adult male in the basement, and now I have two.”  They laughed.

But I have to say I love January and so I’m enjoying myself in spite of having Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee under my nose.  As the yard’s covered in snow and ice, I can’t do a thing in the garden, so that’s good.  There’s not a lot to be done with the fruitcake business, so that’s very relaxing, too.

Marian, my dear accountant of 21 years, invited me out for coffee lat week and told me she’s retiring. She’s found a nice person to take over her clients, so will help this new man learn all about Nuttier than a Fruitcake so that he can take over.  So I do have to get my receipts and invoices in order for them, and Marian said to do it now before busy tax season.

That’s the type of thing I hate to do, and so I procrastinate, as I’m always sure it’ll be too hard.  I’m still trying to get a handle on this time management problem, and have noticed I avoid tasks that I think will be hard.  However I also find the trick is just to start, no matter how incompetently, and it does seem to lead to the job getting done.

I read that about writing, and it’s true.  Just start writing, and then edit and read afterward.  Sitting there trying to compose the perfect sentence in order to start usually doesn’t work, so just start writing anything and that can get the ball rolling.

And of course you’ll laugh, as I list the types of meals and baked goods I’ve made for the kids.  Then I complain these fat, lazy males won’t leave.  Brownies, anyone?  But you know how I love to cook and bake, and now with one extra person here, it seems to have motivated me to be more Martha Stewart than ever.

I discovered that easy-to-make fudge, where you melt chocolate and add sweetened, condensed milk.  I tried a recipe for chow mein drop ‘cookies.’ These are odd, but Luke loved them.  I’ve made Eggs Benedict, spaghetti and meaballs, chicken chow mein, brisket, and so many other things I should have my head examined.

I offered to make the baked goods for Liz’ memorial tea next Saturday, so that’ll give me something to do, other than lure kids like the witch from Hansel and Gretel.  She had a good motive, but I don’t, hence the need for psychiatric intervention.

Last Friday I sneezed a whole bunch of times in a row, then again on Saturday, and I wondered what the heck was going on.  By Sunday morning I knew, as I woke up feeling horrible with some kind of a cold or the flu.  God only knows what it was, but it’s left me feeling like lead.

You know how I like to run around gloating that I never get sick, so it’s a lesson never to brag, isn’t it?  The last time I had a cold was in the spring of 2009 , so I guess it was time for my body to demand a break, which it did.

Luke arrived home from Thailand on the afternoon of December 31st and when he phoned from the airport I told him Nicky and I were both deathly ill.  He said he didn’t want to catch it, so would just come in and say hi, then go to Denis’ to spend the night.

Luke came in for an hour and left.  The next day he became horribly sick, too!  I said I don’t believe it’s possible to catch a germ in an hour where nothing communal was touched, but he blamed us for it.

So the week was spent with Luke, Nicky and me in the house, all sick.  There really wasn’t anything to do but get busy and eat all of the Christmas baking and chocolate, and I think we’re finally rid of it.  Monday my diet begins.

I’ve made two resolutions, one for myself, and one for the business.  For me, I want to use my time better and stop wasting it.  When I sat down and figured out how much time I have outside of the normal things we have to do it in a day, it was a lot.  I can’t figure out why I can’t get more done, other than I procrastinate horribly.

For the business, I want to sell 1,000 fruitcakes from my site per year.  That means I need to drive people to my site, but I believe this is a conversation we’ve had a time or ten in the past.  But step 1 of that is I need help with my e mail, and especially my newsletter list.  There are over 500 people on it, but the way it’s organized means I can’t find anything.

Other than that, I’m just going to wing it, having learned it’s pointless to over-plan.  At this time last year I had no idea of the changes to come, and for all of us the same thing applies for 2013.  Surprises are good.

I’m reading Buddhism for Dummies and finding it helpful.  I was explaining some of it to Luke, as Jan is a devout Buddhist so we want to learn about it.  For now, all I know is we have to try to do good things and think good thoughts, so I focus on that.

And speaking of raising one’s spirits, today I bought a bottle of Malibu (a rum and coconut liqueur), and a bottle of Canadian Club whiskey.  I have plans to slowly build a complete bar, and then each night I can order something different.  Tonight a pina colada, tomorrow a Manhattan.  Cheers!

2012 was absolutely crammed with events.  It began with Luke’s arrival home from Thailand in May saying he was in love with a Thai woman.  That lead to their engagement in June, then the non-stop planning for the trip after that.

Meanwhile, my brother’s daughter Julie got married, and we attended her lovely wedding in Maple Ridge in August.

During the same month, Nicky was handed a plum job as a project manager at Telus.  I’m still having problems with the amount of work he does versus the gargantuan pay he receives.

My mom, age 87, not only learned how to Skype, but to send and receive e mails.  But you know it’s true, necessity is the mother of invention.  I had said to mom Luke’s bored out on the oil rigs, and you have time, so the two of you need to Skype.

I took two trips this year, first to see my friend Alison in Toronto in late April.  Then there was the surprise trip to Thailand in November.  Both were fabulous.

Two very sad events occurred late in 2012, both very painful.  First, our dear dog Mojo became sick, and then suddenly died.  The poor dog had to suffer at the end and I still feel upset about that part of it.

Worse still, my childhood pal, Liz Graham died on December 22 at the age of 58.  My mom said we met when we were six weeks old, as she recalls driving over to Grahams with me and her best friend Pearl Granger.

Liz and I became best friends in grade one, and remained that way until the end of grade seven.  We were close friends throughout high school and then drifted apart at times over the years.  However, when Liz moved to Pentictom to live with her mom around 2005 we reconnected in a big way.

In 2006 we travelled to Washington, DC to hang out with Alison for a week.  I have so many wonderful memories from that trip.  Soon after, Liz became sick, and she remained so ever since.

So her death wasn’t a surprise, but still it was hard.  I learned so much about living and dying from Liz, and I shall be forever grateful to her for all of those lessons.  No matter how bad she felt, she never complained and remained happy.

I realized that to Liz, every minute she was alive was a good minute.  She was a Buddhist master and didn’t even know it.

Onward!  With positive and loving thoughts, off we go into 2013.  All the best!

After the thrill of witnessing a traditional Thai wedding, it was time to head off to the island of Koh Samui in the Gulf of Thailand for a week of fun.  Tradition dictated Luke and Jan stay in the Bunyung’s house for two nights after the wedding, so Dan and his then girlfriend, Denis and I, flew out of Ubon Ratchathani on Saturday, the day after the wedding.

We landed at the domestic airport in Bangkok, then had to get a cab to the international airport across town.  There we were to board a small plane to the island.  I tried to keep a calm look on my face as thunder, lightning and buckets of rain streamed down.

However, we boarded and took off, and as you can see, no-one died.  The food on the one-hour flight was amazing, and we commented on the bag of peanuts one is thrown on any Canadian flight of that duration.

We took a cab to our dear resort, called the Secret Garden, which is on Big Buddha Beach.  We each had our own bungalows, and they were adorable.  Mine was #4, and like all of them, had a king sized bed, tiny fridge, nice TV and beautifully clean bathroom.

I believe it is $40 a night there.  As well, the restaurant and bar, all open to the elements all the time except for the thatched roof, were excellent, too.  I’ve never tasted such delicious pina coladas and had them nightly.

In the mornings, I’d walk barefoot the 30 feet or so into the restaurant and order coffee and breakfast.  The beach is right there, so one morning we saw a man leading a water buffalo along the shore.  Often fishermen were there, spreading their nets.

After two days, Luke and Jan arrived, and they were staying in bungalow #1, right on the beach.  The staff had made a heart of red rose petals on their bed.  I was really excited for their arrival, as I love them both so much.  Jan took a photo of the heart.

The next day we made some plans of what to do, and Luke decided to rent a small car.  Dan and his former friend went off and rented motorcycles as that’s the sort of thing a lot of Albertans seem to like to do.

I’ll always treasure those memories in that little car, going around the perimeter of the island of Koh Samui, which takes an hour in total. There they drive on the right, and Luke drove, with Denis in the passenger seat, holding the map.

Jan and I sat in the back seat.  She said she often saw Thai girls with their falang (foreign) husbands and parents in a car, and wondered if that would ever happen to her.  We both beamed happily at each other and I squeezed her hand.

One day I stupidly said, “Hey there’s a waterfall I want to see, let’s go there.”  The four of us drove off, me dressed as usual in a summer sheath, sandals and my handbag.

We parked and began to follow a path of strewn rocks, as we were hiking uphill beside a rushing river.  It was the usual 40 degress or so with the humidity.  Jan, dressed as always in a T shirt and jeans, was dashing ahead not a bead of sweat visible.

After about 30 minutes the climb became more treacherous, as it was the tail-end of rainy season, so some areas were filled with water.  We would go ankle deep through some of it.  At other points the rocks were so large I needed my hands and feet, so put the handle of my purse over my head.

At 60 minutes I said I’d better see a waterfall soon. 90 minutes later we came upon the waterfall.  I asked Denis to use my camera to take a picture of me, the colour of a fire hydrant, the entire head of hair wet.

On Koh Samui we also visited a couple of wats (temples) and at one of them there is a mummified monk.  Luke made a donation and a monk who was sitting there put a bracelet on Luke and said some prayers for him.  I wanted to go, but was already tearing up at that, so felt stupid and didn’t.

One thing I forgot to mention in my story of Luke’s wedding, was that right after the ceremony we had strings tied around our wrists by the guests.  They tied them while saying good wishes and prayers.  We then had to keep these on, and I felt thrilled to be running around with mine.  Denis said it gave us street cred.

Indeed, when locals saw them, they knew we were ‘in’ somehow.  Plus we only greeted poeple by the proper “saw waddee ka” while making the wei with the hands, and said thank you in Thai.  We were not going to be culturally obtuse like some of the ignorant people we had to see there on holidays.

I swam in the Gulf of Thailand, and can verify it’s very warm.  I’ve never swum in a warm ocean before, as I don’t consider the water in Hawaii warm.  As you swim, you easily catch giant sand dollars in your hands.

A good bit of time was spent shopping at Chewang Beach.  I used to remember the name by thinking Cha Ching Beach.  You must barter, and then you must leave knowing you’ve paid double what you should have.  But it’s fun, and I got 3 bags, 4 pairs of sandals, 2 pairs of Thai-style pants, etc.

And then suddenly it was time to leave, and I felt sad to say good-bye to Luke and Jan.  I flew back to Bangkok on my own and spent the night at a cheap hotel near the airport.

The next morning I was off, and had the same fortunate experience as the flight in.  I slept for 8 hours!  I simply couldn’t believe it, and arrived in Vancouver feeling good.

Please do try to visit Thailand in your lifetime, and I mean the real country, too, not just the tourist areas.

I was going to write about the rest of my trip to Thailand this week, but life took an unexpected turn.  Our dear little dachshund, Mojo, died in my arms on 12/12/12 at 8:25 AM.  I wanted to write warmly and effusively about Thailand, and tell funny anecdotes about my wonderful trip, but find my mind won’t go there yet.

Mojo was such a worried-looking dog for her entire life, with one blue and one brown eye.  She was a dapple, which means she had white on her coat, as well as the black and tan.  In the dachshund breeding world, white is bad, but to us, she was perfect.

I already had Arnie, but we decided to get a second dog, and Nicky said he wanted it to be his dog.  Nicky was ten years old in the spring of 2000 when he and I drove to Wee Wags Dachsie Kennel just outside the Kelowna Airport.

A litter of mini dachshunds had been born, and they were now three weeks old.  We went upstairs, and the owner had her daughter carry the mom out of the room, as she was angry at us for touching the pups.  We knew wanted a female, and there were three.  One had a white tail tip, so Nicky said he wanted that one.

We visited Mojo again when she was about six weeks old, and at the time the kennel owner said as she was Nicky’s dog, he would be the registered owner.  She asked him what her middle name should be, and he thought briefly and replied, “Little.”

Mojo came home at the age of nine weeks and immediately fell in love with Arnie, who was then five. He couldn’t have cared less about her, because his sole purpose in life was figuring out where I was.  Nonetheless, they became good friends, and went on many adventures together.

Their favourite pursuit was hunting quail, especially the baby quail, in the spring and summer.  They’d be out for an hour or more, routing under the brush, and eating as many baby quail as they possible could.  Some days they’d come in so hot they’d lay on the wood floor, panting, until they’d cooled down.

One thing Mojo hated was being left alone with Arnie and the cats when we all used to go to school and work.  I recall coming home from work one day, and going into my bedroom to change.  When I picked up my jeans, I realized the entire crotch area had been chewed out and eaten by Mojo.

As I went into the living room to inform Nicky what his dog had done, I passed a pile of dog feces on the floor.  As I went to open my mouth to now list the two things the dog had done, I noticed she’d dug the arm of the couch down to the wood!  That was an expensive day.

In fact, the digging went on for quite a while, and I used to say, “that dog’s trying to dig her way to China.”  On several occasions, she went through bedspreads, blankets, sheets and right into the mattress itself with her insane digging.

But her greatest weakness was food, and she was indiscriminate in what she ate.  Just this spring, when the bears raided our garbage and we viewed the video, there was little Mojo, cleaning up the garbage left behind by the bears.  She literally ate anything.

As a result we noticed quite a terrible bloat happening this summer, and the vet said her liver enzymes were very high.  He speculated she could have a disease called Cushing’s, but said without further testing we couldn’t be sure.

I went to Thailand, and the dog though quiet, seemed fine.  I returned home, and all was normal until Sunday, when I saw the same bloating.  She was very uncomfortable, so I took her to the emergency vet.  The vet thought it might be a bad back instead, and gave me pain pills.

On Monday she was okay, but on Tuesday she was very ill all day.  She began vomiting around 5:00 PM and continued all night.  I had her blocked in my room, but couldn’t do anything to help her other than to be there.

By morning she wasn’t able to move, and I called the vet’s office and left a message.  As I was moving her to the car just before 8:30 AM, she began gasping for air.  As I held her in my arms and realized she was dying, I prayed aloud for God to give me the strength to survive this terrible moment.

And then it was over.  I laid her back in her bed, and Nicky came home, saw her, and thought she was asleep.  I told him she’d died, and he was sad, though he didn’t cry.  We were surprised at how sick she must’ve been to die so terribly and so quickly.

Nicky dug her grave that day, near Arnie’s, and Denis came over after work.  He carried Mojo and her bed to the hole and placed her inside.  The three of us said what a good dog Mojo had been, and Denis and Nicky covered her with dirt.

When we walked back to the house, Nicky said, “Thanks for coming to help bury Mojo, dad.”   Denis replied, “Thanks to you two for waiting for me.  Mojo was a good friend to me, too.”

And so, just little Ricky and the two dear cats remain.  Yesterday and today snow is falling, blanketing Mojo’s grave, and it’s a sign that she’s been put to bed.  We have to carry on; it’s what the living must do.

It’s hard to explain how I missed my flight to Thailand.  You’ll recall I’d studied my itinerary the way Mitt Romeny studies the Book of Mormon.  I had the reservation in early July, so had months and months to scrutinize it.  However, when your brain is the size of a pea, and you see 2:10 for a departure, you think PM.  Surprise!  It’s a 24-hour clock, so the plane left at 2:10 AM.

Let’s just say it was an interesting couple of hours for the Cathay Pacific staff.  I was re-booked, and left at 2:10 AM, exactly 24 hours late.  Poor Luke hadn’t gotten the message, so was at the Bangkok airport for three hours, wondering where his idiot mother was.

In any case, I had a great flight, as I slept for a good 10 hours!  I took my pal Alison’s advice, which is to ‘shut down’ while on a plane.  I ate very little, drank nothing, and certainly had no alcohol.  Then I took a melatonin and half a Gravol.  I had ear plugs, eye shades and a neck pillow.

When I came to, the nice Pilipino woman sitting beside me said, “you good sleep!” and I shrugged and smiled apologetically.  She apparently hadn’t been able to sleep much at all.

Once in Bangkok, I was met by Denis and Luke, and we went to the ghastly Watana Mansion.  However for $20 a night one can’t complain as there was air conditioning.  I needed it, as the temperature was in the 30’s C with high humidity.

We only spent the night, and then the next morning we were off on the train to Ubon Ratchathani.  It’s an 8 hour trip, but covers over 700 km, so we saw a lot of the Thai countryside.  Thankfully the train was air conditioned, as I had my suitcase filled with chocolate to protect.

We arrived around 2:00 PM and Jan’s uncle and father came to get us at the train station.  When we got off the train we were smacked in the head by the intense heat.  I believe when taking the humidity index into account it was around 42 degrees C!

In Ubon, we stayed at kind of a dilapidated resort, but beautifully located beside a river.  From there we had a rental car so shuttled back and forth to Jan’s village.  Luke and Jan stayed in the village, but Dan and his girlfriend, Denis and I were at the resort.

Luke love Jan’s village so much, and it’s certainly interesting.  The houses are very basic for the most part, with a few showing signs of economic progress.  Luke had helped with the improvement to the Bunyung’s house, so it now has one tiled room complete with windows and a tiled ceiling.  However, there’s no air conditioning or indoor plumbing.

Because we can’t speak Thai, and they can’t speak English, we mostly just smiled a lot.  Unfortunately, Dan’s girlfriend appeared to have been raised in a barn, as she would look upon the villagers with undisguised disdain!  Can you magine how annoyed I was at that?  Picture Luke, loving his new fam, with a cow none of us knows being such a downer.

The wedding began at 5:30 AM on Friday, November 23.  The monks had picked the date, and the day before, as well as that day, they sat in the Bunyung’s new room chanting beautifully.  I captured some of it on tape as it was so moving and wonderful.  Luke said he felt like crying, and as I cry at TV ads, I really had to pull myself together.

The couple arrived before dawn, looking gorgeous.  Jan wore a traditional heavily-brocaded gold dress with her hair up and pinned with pink carnations.  Luke wore a white two piece suit with a Nehru collar and also had makeup on, which is the tradition.

We all went into the ‘good’ room at the Bunyung’s and knelt as the monks chanted.  The women prepared food, and we took turns going on our knees to put the food and juice boxes into the basket in front of each of the 10 monks.

Then the villagers and all of us went to the end of the street, where we danced to Thai music being blared from a truck brought in for the event.  Luke was at the front with Jan and had an envelope filled with baht.  At one point a log was held to bar his way, and he had to pay them off to get by.

A few yards later some people held a rope, and he had to give them baht to get by them.  Then he and Jan got to the front of the Bunyung’s house.  There, someone had made a pile of palm leaves for him to stand on, while a sister in law washed his feet.

Then the couple entered the room, and we all gathered around.  Mr. Bunyung received the sin sod (dowry) from Luke and put the 30,000 baht on a tray for all to see.  A local man with a book began to read the marriage vows, and at one point a hard boiled egg was stuck into the bride and groom’s mouths.

Once the ceremony ended, the women had a pillow in a hammock, which they swung back and forth madly as one of them made newborn baby crying sounds.  Too funny!  They had a pink mattress in the corner of the room, which Jan and Luke were then allowed to sit on together.

In Thai tradition, there’s no lip to lip kissing, nor any displays of physical affection whatsoever.  When the bride and groom sat on the mattress, they gave each other a Thai kiss, which is like putting your face against the cheek of the other person.  No puckering, though.

By 10:00 AM the whole thing was over, so the clothes were returned to the rental place.  Luke and Jan came back in casual duds, and we all sat around until 5:00 or so, visiting.  The men drink a vile whiskey, pronounced lau cow (both words rhyme).  It’s made from rice, and when Dan took a sip and almost vomited, I said no thanks.

Luke hadn’t slept much the night before the wedding, as at midnight a water buffalo was slaughtered, and he was there for that.  He said he turned away at the moment of the sledge hammer blow, and noticed many there did the same.  Then he said it was butchered on the spot and hunks of meat were given to fellow villagers who were friends.

As a result of witnessing that, Luke said he’s never going to waste meat again.  I can say I’ve never liked wasting food, but it’s true, once you’ve visited people with so little, you feel ashamed if you waste anything at all.

Next week: the rest of my holiday in Thailand.

I think I have everything.  I had to get mom and Gerry’s giant suitcase, which I’ve filled with gifts, and then I have a carry-on as well.  I hate people who come onto planes dragging a suitcase, and now I’m going to be one of them!  But I need it, as I’m only allowed to check in 50 pounds, and can carry on 15, so I’ll have to do that.

My clothes could easily fit into a grocery shopping bag, but I need the suitcases due to all the chocolate, maple syrup, and other made-in-Canada items I’m bringing to the tiny village at the border of Laos.  Can you imagine?  By the time I arrive, I’ll be like Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone, when she makes the trek to Cartagena.

You know, the bus breaks down, she has to walk with one broken heel and a suitcase that weighs a ton and is disgorging much of its contents.  Maybe I’ll find my own Michael Douglas to rescue me?  I’m not going to hold my breath.

I’ve been discussing the running of the house with Nicky for the past several weeks.  Today I wrote things down, so hopefully the pets will still be alive when I get home.  He’s never adjusted the thermostat or loaded the dishwasher, so it’s going to be a great experience for us all.

I bought a few extra copies of Country Woman magazine, and will take one with me to show the fam in Thailand.  They won’t know what the heck it means, but it’s a magazine, and my name’s in it, so that’s really all they need to know.  Needless to say, I’m taking a fruitcake for them as well.

What a traumatic experience it’s been installing an auto reply on my e mail.  I have a ghastly program called Windows Live Mail, and I had no idea of the rigmarole involved.  For example, the instruction sheet is about six pages long, and it involves going into the computer to create a message.

I got to step 2 and felt like throwing the laptop, but fortunately Nicky figured it out, and now I appear to have auto reply.  Or not.  But I’m leaving in two hours, so there’s little I’m able to do at this point other than to chant, and to leave it up to the mystic law.

Imagine all the chanting I’m going to be exposed to over the next two weeks!  I don’t have a lot of time in Bangkok, but hope to see a temple or two there.  I researched Koh Samui, and there are at least 3 wots (temples) worth seeing there.

And then of course there’s the shopping.  One article said Koh Samui has one area of stores that is six kilometres long!  It says you can’t get through that in one week, but I’m sure going to give that my very best try.

Alrighty, then, good bye.  I’m off to meet my new daughter-in-law and family, learn something new, and hopefully return a better person.  Talk to you then!