Orders are coming by phone and e mail, so it’s a busy time of year for the fruitcake monger.  I’ve also done some marketing, so hope something will come of it.  For instance, the other day our local CBC radio morning show hosts mentioned fruitcake.  Alia, the co-host said, “It looks so good, and then you try it and then you go, oh yeah, that’s why I don’t like it.”

I couldn’t let those words go unchallenged, so yesterday I drove a fruitcake and note down to them at CBC and said try this.  Then I mailed a fruitcake to a food writer at a Kamloops newspaper, as Discover Wines, my first customer here in Kelowna, expanded and they now have a store there, too.

Finally, I mailed a fruitcake to Jian Gomechi at CBC Radio and reminded him in last year’s panel on fruitcakes they did the usual fruitcake-trashing, and I asked him to sample mine and see if it’s even possible to disparage it.

In the midst of marketing, packaging, delivering and mailing, imagine my joy to open an envelope and find a bill from Impark for $62.00!  Apparently, on October 10th I was causing an “obstruction” in the Prospera Arena parking lot.

I recall being in a hurry to get to my last day of docent training at the art gallery, and as I parked I noticed I wasn’t within the lines.  However, as I’d paid for the ticket, was in a hurry, and because 95% of the spaces were empty and I was far from anyone else, I just left the car and ran.

Now I got a letter saying this is the final notice before being put over to collections.  I wrote them a nice letter saying please give me a break as this is ridiculous, and why put me over to collections when I had no clue this evil thing was in the works?

I look forward to their reply, as I’m certainly not mailing them $62.00 for being outside the parking lines by a few inches.  Remember Wiggins Adjustments who phoned me for three years to collect $25.00 on a parking fine in Penticton?  I have a feeling this is going to end badly for Impark.

That sort of thing is healthy as it raises adrenalin levels mightily and forges action.  The same thing happened when I heard our illustrious mayor and council approved a piece of land owned by the powerful Bennet family coming out of the Agricultural Land Reserve.  Same thing: huge spike in adrenalin.

Besides writing a letter to the editor, I made an appointment to meet with our MLA to discuss his government’s position on the Agricultural Land Commission.  Steve Thompson assured me they have no intention of messing with it, and I did that two fingers to my eyes then pointing them at him, De Niro style, and said, “I’ll be watching your voting record on that.”

Hence you can see the life of the fruitcake monger isn’t without its challenges.  Now that I started markegting, I’m doing that horrible second-guessing wondering if I made enough fruitcakes.  Either I’m crying because the sales are too low or too high, but that seems to be the way it is every year.

Today I remembered by blog was due, and it was a horrible shock to realize I’d completely forgotten about it.  I was thinking how in control I was of the week, and suddenly it hit me.  It must be due to all the memory required for daily posts on my Nuttier than a Fruitcake Facebook page.

Who would’ve thought social media could do anything for a business?  But since I started posting easy-to-make recipes people forward them to friends, and so I’ve had a large increase in people who are now exposed to my fruitcakes.  I’m receiving on-line orders daily.

And what would the business be without my dear, faithful, repeat customers?  I had my yearly order from a nice man in Halifax who’s 94 years old, and who’s been ordering for at least the past 8 years.  When he first ordered he wrote, “In all my years I’ve never tasted a fruitcake as good as yours.”  Needless to say, I love him.

There are so many nice customers I realize I can’t leave the business as I can’t say good bye to them.  And then there’s the weekly blog and monthly newsletter and now Facebook, so I get to keep my writing skills honed.  Without the fruitcakes, why would I write any of that?

I guess because this fall is my 10th season that my mind sometimes wanders into retirement territory.  But really, what would I do each fall if not bake until I’m exhausted?

Do you know five weeks from now the season’ll be totally over for me?  So I need to get a grip and keep going.  I plan on sending a fruitcake to Gian Gomechi at CBC Radio because last December he had a small panel on to discuss fruitcakes.  I thought I’d send him one and say, “Disparage this.”

Maxine Dehart’s going to write about my fruitcakes in her weekly column in the Capital News this week, so that’ll get a flurry of people racing to the stores.  From December 1 – 14  I’ll have fruitcakes in the display case at the Woman’s Place Gym so that’ll be good sales, too.

We were hoping Luke’s wife Jan might be able to be here on a visitor visa for Christmas, but it’s not to be.  Their application was denied, so now they have to do the permanent resident application and wait 12 – 14 months.  It’s so annoying as she’s coming no matter what obstacles the government throws before us.

 But Luke plans to be here, and of course Nicky lives here so that’s a given.  Margaret and Brendan are coming, as is my mom, so I’m already excited about it, though it’s a whole five weeks away.  I love Christmas, especially the baking.

Which is how all of this began.  I received a fruitcake as a gift from our accountant, asked for the recipe and made it for gifts.  People swooned and alleged if I ever made it for sale they’d buy it.  Challenge met.

So throwing obstacles in front of people with this type of attitude is complete folly in my mind, and the reason I’ve asked our MP for a meeting to explain immigration policy to me.

The season’s sales are well on their way, as I delivered 60 fruitcakes to Quality Greens, 48 to Discover Wines, 18 to Tin Horn Creek Winery and mailed 24 to Sea Cider in Victoria.  As it’s just mid-November, I expect this to continue right up until Christmas so I feel smug about the heavy baking I did in September.

Because of my profound laziness, I’ve jettisoned the Okanagan Fruit and Rum bars along with the chocolate bark.  I hate making anything small, so decided to stick with the original two fruitcakes and try to make each and every one of them a prize-winner.

Margaret’s helping me with my Nuttier than a Fruitcake page, and it’s a lot of fun.  I honest to God didn’t know what to do, and said to her what simple things can a Luddite possibly do?  She replied: Post one thing every day, and make sure you always include a photo.

Every day I dutifully post a recipe and sometimes the odd tip for something else, and I’ve increased my reach by a couple of hundred per cent.  Margaret suggested I might do a special Christmas cookie recipe exchange, and I’ve started that.  If only I could do those damned videos I’ve been talking about for a year or more.

My wonderful little pup got neutered on Wednesday, and at noon on Friday when the vet’s office assistant phoned to see how he was, I said,  “Not well.”  Louie was completely depressed from the experience and not himself at all.

I didn’t know what to do to cheer him up, so I went into Buckerfield’s to peruse the dog chews to see if I could find something he might like.  After some thought, I ended up with a bull’s penis, and for good measure I threw in a pig’s ear.

When I got home I placed both items on the floor, he sniffed the ear, and then sniffed the penis, and started chewing on it.  He kept at it for about four hours and I was worried he might be injuring his jaws from over-exercise.  It sure took his mind off his surgery.

Then this weekend Louie and I went to Osoyoos to visit mom and her poodle Schwarzie.  Louie had about 1/3 of the bull penis left, so I took it with us.  Once we got into the house Schwarzie smelled the penis and grabbed it, and wouldn’t let Louie near it again.

Even though she is a walking skeleton due to advanced diabetes, that little dog laid there and chewed on the penis for at least three hours, and I said to mom I’m scared all this chewing energy’s going to finish off the dog.  But she was fine.

One of the books I bought for $1 at the annual library book sale is by Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer.  He says chewing for dogs is like reading a good book.  So in both cases, the bull penis took the dogs’ minds off their troubles.

Perhaps one should always have a bull penis in the home for stress relief?  I sat beside the dog when he was chewing on it and at times the odd whiff I got made me feel pretty sure only a dog would covet them.  However you know you love your dog when you get to the till and hand over $12 for a damned penis.

When Jerralynn was here a couple of weeks ago she said she felt something on my dog’s throat and said it felt like a pimple.  When we tried to find it later we couldn’t, and thought it had fallen off.

Then on Saturday Nicky said the night before the dog had been downstairs while I was sleeping.  He said a friend of his noticed something on Louie’s throat too, and when they examined it they found it was a tick.  He said they got pliers and pulled out the tick, but the head broke off in the dog.

I went on-line and it didn’t seem to be an emergency that a tick’s head was in the dog.  But I e mailed a friend who owns dogs, and also told the women at the gym, and oh no, I had to go straight to the vet’s with the dog because “ticks carry viruses.”

I understand that, because a friend of mine caught Lyme disease from one, but as the tick was living in the dog for at least two weeks and he had no symptoms, I didn’t think this particular tick was a problem.  Sure enough, the vet said if Louie was going to get sick, he would’ve done so long ago.

So it was as I thought, absolutely nothing, yet out of fear something terrible might happen down the road, I had gone.  God forbid people could say, “if only she’d dealt with that tick head imbedded in the dog none of this would’ve happened.”

I know I love to go on about things likes this, but again last week I had the best time at Value Village.  I was looking for comfortable navy shoes, and there was a pair of Rockport loafers in mint condition for $10 in the perfect colour.  I looked heavenward and thanked my gramma for her help.

But that wasn’t all, because in the housewares section I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a turkey-themed tray exactly like the one my mother-in-law had and which was hauled out every Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It’s in excellent shape, and as five bucks.

I shouldn’t be hanging around thrift stores at all, because fruitcake orders have already come in.  The nice people at Discover Wines have ordered and they’ve expanded into a second store in Kamloops so want twice a many.

As you may or may not have noticed, I’m posting recipes and other tips on my Nuttier than a Fruitcake Facebook page daily, so if you’re reading this, but aren’t my friend on that site, please ask for an invitation.

With seven weeks left, I know I can do it, which as I’ve always said, is the beauty of having a seasonal business.  It’s focused and then over before you know it.  Hopefully kind of like the dog will find his neutering appointment this Wednesday.