Writer’s Cramp

I knew I was The Biggest Loser when I didn’t get notified that I was a semi-finalist for the CBC Canada Writes contest.  Then I read the B.C. finalists’ submissions and biographies and laughed at myself.  Two out of three were writers, so that made me feel better.  I adored reading their bio’s and imagined mine: “Moni Schiller is a middle aged woman who makes fruitcake in the basement of her home.  She writes a weekly blog which she purports to be funny.”

Sigh.  However, I did have some wonderful news, and that is that I’m very close to getting into the sainted city of Calgary!  Someone with a lot more down-to-earth business skills than I have actually did some research into this.  She said that Alberta is a gold mine for fruitcake mongers, so we will see.

It makes me chuckle to think of the way I researched the viability of a gourmet fruitcake business.  I made some fruitcake, gave it to people, and when they screamed and wept a bit when it was gone, I decided it would probably sell.

I’ve had my nose to the grindstone since August, and have literally not had a moment to indulge in my most serious passion, shopping.  However, the other day I had an hour to kill between appointments, and found myself right at Winner’s.  As I needed to buy a Christmas gift for a girl who will be visiting, I decided this would be the perfect time.  Nasty old Winner’s, though, puts the women’s clothes in front, so one must walk through them to the girls’ section.

I now have 19 pairs of dress pants and 5 pairs of casual pants.  I didn’t need the gray dress pants I just bought, however, gray is HUGE this season, and God knows, one wants to at least try to remain au courant, even caked in dough.  At the end of a day of baking my pores as well as my clothes exude fruitcake.  I miscalculated the rum the other day and had to race to the licquor store right at the end of a baking day.  The people all around me said, “It smells like food!”

But seriously, back to the CBC writing contest.  Who in their right mind wouldn’t find O! Dear Fruitcake set to the tune of O! Canada funny?  What about the ingenious movie review I made up about a trio of super-hero dachshunds who defend the Okanagan from developers?  Honestly, I was chuckling for days over my brilliance, only to have it dashed to bits by some judges.

Not that any of that counts for a hill of beans here at our dear home.  Nicky was in a flap this morning because his winter coat ‘is lost’ (IE he didn’t lose it), and Luke can’t find his important apprenticeship log book, so today I’m to help search the house for it.  It seems that a great portion of my time is spent helping others search for their things, but I guess that’s good as it’s an opportunity for bonding.

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