Tag Archive | alcohol

This Should be Interesting

Sep15

I phoned my GP’s office and said even though there’s nothing wrong with me, I’d like to come in for a general check up with my doctor. The receptionist looked up my file, and said, “Oh yes. I see you were last here two years ago, so you can have an in-person appointment.” I said, “great thanks,” thinking wow, what if I had made the mistake of calling earlier. I would’ve been told I could have a phone appointment, I suppose.

One of my friends who shall remain unnamed is looking forward to this with great anticipation. She hardly drinks but has had blood tests showing elevated liver enzymes. My last blood tests of a few years ago showed my liver being “fine” according to the doc which made her shake her head in wonder. She’s now hoping for similar results on my new blood tests which the doc will presumably order.

This is why we’ll all be waiting with bated breath for these results. Tomorrow when I see the doc, I guess she’ll do the usual and ask how many drinks I have in a week. This then causes a few moments of mental consternation as I begin to cipher it out. “Let’s see. Three times seven is, no wait is that six plus two? um I think it’s around ten drinks a week.”

She then probably writes down twenty which is more like it. I believe we’re supposed to have a limit of one drink a week, or something nuts like that. This will never work, just like once-a-week watering in the Okanagan summer heat doesn’t work either. And really folks, with AI threatening human extinction, is it reasonable to follow some of these untenable rules?

How embarrassing if I have to report I also have elevated liver enzymes. My parents would be so ashamed. There was one thing they always agreed on: you can’t trust a teetotaler. It was one of the worst things you could say about someone.

I’ve been in some kind of writing mania for the past several days as I wanted to enter the San Miguel writing contest that closes today. I also wanted to finish the third and final kids’ book featuring the dachshunds as the neighbourhood crime watch. And now those things are indeed behind me, so I can fully concentrate on the impending reunion weekend in Osoyoos.

Alison’s arriving from Toronto on Thursday, Penny from the Island on Friday, and we’re heading south to party with Phyllis and Mary. It’ll be grade ten all over again, just with more liquor, better food and heavier participants.

You’ll recall I sent photos and wording for a website on Mom’s property to Luke but I’m sorry to report we are nowhere with that. I don’t know how to get that kid to move. He’s been like that since he entered kindergarten though so I shouldn’t be surprised. It’ll be nice when done, but by then the house may have crumbled into the ground.

We did pass the inspection on the modular home and so that hurdle’s behind us. I just wish someone with imagination and ambition sees the potential in two houses on one acre with a hundred feet of private beach across the road. I like to imagine a couple who adore cooking and hosting running a high-end Airbnb or else creating an artists’ retreat.

In the meantime I just have to wait and hope. It’s not unlike the writing contests.

I’m Finally Addressing the Stomach

Jun5

 I finally got so fed up with my large girth that I’ve started a serious program to counter it. My arms and legs, also my ass, appear to be normal-sized, but my stomach looks like I’m a couple of weeks away from giving birth. A wonderful miracle at my age, to be sure. But because it’s both visceral and subcutaneous fat, it’s simply gotta go.

The thing that pushed me right over the edge was finding a cute dress that was perfect in every way, except for one area. Yes, the stomach. So now I’m going to try to avoid sugar and flour and see what that brings. God knows the alcohol’s staying, as that’s as necessary as oxygen to this carcass.

I don’t think a soul’s looked at Mom’s property, and I’m perfectly fine with that. Now I want it to take forever to sell so that I can use it for a vacation home. God knows I’m hoping it’ll be unsold at the end of September when the Ya Ya’s are having a reunion. I believe Renate’s unavailable due to just coming home from Europe at that time, so it’ll just be the five of us.

The iffy part’s the accommodation, which is at Mary’s house in Osoyoos. It means sharing rooms and that’s one thing I’ve realized is not good for my sleep. Some poor person is going to be on a hideabed in the living room, and another sad soul has to go outside the house up a set of stairs to sleep on a cot in Mary’s bedroom. Sounds glam, right?

I think you can see why I’m willing the stars for Mom’s place not to be sold so I can drive over there and sleep like a log. It’s a strange venue when we’re all retired boomers with means, but whatever. I said I’d prefer a nice Airbnb somewhere in the south Okanagan, but the others went hell no, we want to bunk up and have a pajama party. Jesus.

I discovered tubi.com so am now watching old movies such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Midnight Cowboy, The Stepford Wives and many more. Some I’m watching for the second time, hence I haven’t seen them in 50 years…. Perhaps I should be trying to get with the more recent times, but honestly when you haven’t seen a movie in that long it seems new.

My nice neighbour Jim came over with his saw and tried his best to fix the awful-looking fence I had built. He managed to get all the tops even which helps a lot, but it’s still an ugly fence. I wonder what a person does with something so hideous? Years ago, I would’ve gone berserk over something like that, but either thanks to age or alcohol, or both, I’m able to shrug. Oh well.

As you know I’ve been working on my second kids’ book featuring Louie and Frieda as dachshund detectives. The other day, just before the deadline for the kids’ book writing contest, I realized what I’d typed the day prior hadn’t been saved. I then worked for nine hours straight so that I could hope to recall the changes that I’d made. By the time I had my submissions ready for the contest I was a wreck. Cocktail, please.

My grandniece River posted something on TikTok that netted 6 million views and 1 million likes, and she said maybe I would do well with the mutts. I’m sad to say I have an Instagram account that I might remember to look at once a month or so, hence I have low expectations as to how I’d fare on something like TikTok. But hey, I’ll sign up and give it a shot because it might be a fun venture.