I always like to talk to cashiers, especially those at Superstore because I go there so often. The other day I said to a nice cashier how hard I’d find it to work with the public. She said she thought so too before she took the job. She said it’s surprising, as most people are okay, plus she said she used to be a support worker and often thought about work after her day. With this job she said she just leaves and that’s that.

That’s one of the bad things about working from home, which is that home and work are intermingled, so one can never tell which is which. Hence in the day I answer the phone, “Moni speaking” to which friends reply “Alison speaking” or some smart ass answer like that.

However all of that’s minor as I have to say the happiest day of my life occurred in June 2007 when I realized I was going to be working from home for the rest of my days. It takes a small bit of discipline, but it has a lot of perks, the major ones being I can do bits of garden work all day long and hang with the pets.

I refused to clean the windows or do any sweat-inducing jobs for the past few weeks due to the intense heat. It’s finally cooled down a bit, and we had much-needed rain, and guess what? I refuse to clean the windows or vacuum in the sun room, both of which need to be done.

It’s terrible to be such a lazy person. While something like that beckons, I ignore it and instead made a batch of death by chocolate cookies. It’s a really easy recipe and one I plan to include in my July/August newsletter. But why make cookies instead of cleaning? Because it’s fun.

Margaret’s arriving on Wednesday for a few days, so we plan on doing the usual thrift store browsing. It’s my equivalent of big game hunting. Nothing makes me happier than finding a great item for a few bucks. Again, fun!

You’d be surprised how shocked some people are by that idea. At my birthday party in Osoyoos I thought it’d be of great interest, so as people talked about clothes I happily announced, “I buy all my stuff at thrift!” The assembled quietened, and some looked as though they’d been punched.

I tried hard to cheer them up by naming the labels (Liz Claiborne, Simon Chang) that I get, as well as describing things like my snakeskin loafers, bought for $3. Nothing seemed to change their mood, though Martha managed to squeak out a “Well good for you!”

I invited Martin, Diane, and Denis, to come over on Wednesday for dinner to visit with Margaret, given they’re her family. The weather’s supposed to be back to being hot, so hopefully too hot to sit in the sun room and therefore no one will notice it’s absolutely filthy.

I’m going to make salmon a la Jerralynn, which is topped with brown sugar and butter. For dessert I’ll crumble the newly-made cookies into a bowl, top with ice cream, home made cherry compote and a dollop of whip. Again, my idea of a good time.

Yesterday was my birthday so I was taken out for a fun lunch with Kathy and Petra. We went to a new Cactus Club restaurant, which is right beside the newly refurbished yacht club. So it’s really nice to sit there as one is very close to the water, looking at the boats bobbing away.

On Saturday mom had her yearly birthday party for me, which is really an annual July party, but it happens to be my birthday. She gets to invite her friends, I cooked, and it was all very nice. The one fly in the ointment was the inside round roast.

I love the butcher at Lakeview Market, and trust him implicitly. Last Friday I went in to buy a sirloin tip roast, and as there weren’t any out, I asked for one. He said he didn’t have any, but for me to buy the inside round which was better.

I said yes, but I want a medium rare roast, and he said this will work. I said really, for rare meat, you use an inside round? He insisted, so I bought it and guess what? It doesn’t work. It was tough, as I had expected it would be. Oh well.

Jerralynn made a very lovely apricot cheesecake as apricots are currently at their peak. She also made a salad I just love, which is ripe tomatoes and peaches, with sweet onions like Walla Walla sweets and basil. No dressing, yet it tastes fantastic.

Nicky went to Banff to visit Haruka, who’s working there, so I had to take Louie to Osoyoos with me. He had the usual diarhea on the way down, so I had to lift him straight into the bath at mom’s when we arrived.

Then when we drove back home he did something very hard to do. He threw up straight down from his pillow on the passenger seat, thereby getting puke wedged right between where the seat belt hooks in and the seat.

All I could do with that was shove in some paper towels when I got home, and I’ll have to wait for it to dry. Then I should be able to just vacuum any remainders of the event.

I’m hoping it’s not too hot this Saturday as I stupidly said I’d go door to door campaigning for the federal Liberals. I’ve been out a couple of times already, and each time it was fine, so that’s why I keep saying okay I’ll do it.

However the last time I went we were getting a particularly poor reception only to find a few Jehovah’s Witnesses flyers stuck in doors. We then realized we were just a few houses behind the J.W.’s so people were thinking once burnt, twice shy.

Luke gave me rabbit ears (an antennae) for my birthday which he said cost about $20. He put it on my TV and now I get the local CHBC station, which is a Global affiliate, free and in high definition. It’s the only channel I get, but I love getting it.

Other than that it’s strictly Netflix for this kid. It’s just so hard to put up with ads and also I found despite having something like 30 channels to choose from, I’d sometimes say there’s nothing on. Thanks to the genius of Netflix, now there’s always something good on TV.

We haven’t had rain in a long time. The temperatures are in the mid-30’s, so it’s the kind of weather that makes those of us who survived a fire nervous. You’ll recall we were evacuated in 2003 and that kind of thing stays with you. Camp fires are banned, which is appropriate, yet some numbskulls continue to throw cigarette butts out of car windows!

California, Oregon and now Washington are all in a state of drought, so it appears we’re next, doesn’t it? I notice more of my neighbours are letting their lawns go brown over the summer, and perhaps more people will get rid of them entirely.

I went to get my bees, which was fantastic, and they’re now sitting amidst alfalfa. When I went to pick them up Chris the beekeeper told me I have a very strong queen, and to hurry and get a second box and frames.

He also said make a jar of half and half sugar and water, and tip it upside down on the top to help them get started. Chris thought Buckerfields would have frames, and he said if I didn’t get them right away the hive was in danger of swarming!

So I drove home with a hive of bees in my trunk, and then set them in the vegetable garden area. Buckerfields had the plastic frames, and Chris sold me a second box, so I had to suit up and open the hive. I lifted out a full frame of bees and set them aside, and put one of the new plastic frames in its place.

I then put the new box on top, and added the three new plastic frames and the one frame full of bees from the bottom box. The jar of syrup went on top.

And can you believe, these blighters are drinking jar after jar of syrup. Maybe bees don’t really need flowers at all, and can just make honey from loads of sugar syrup. Who knew?

I’m kind of excited because I bought myself a new freezer. The one I had was about 30 years old, so I thought oh what the heck, I’ll splurge. And it also only kept things kind of frozen, not solidly frozen, so I felt it was time.

Then mom and I had visited Freddie and Twig the past weekend, and she showed me her fantastic Black and Decker battery-powered weed whacker and said she just loved it. I raced right out and got one today and plan to try it as soon as the battery’s charged.

I thought I could leave Louie with Nicky over the weekend, but it turned out he was driving Haruka to Alberta for her summer job there, so mom and I had to take him to Maple Ridge with us.

He hates travelling because he always gets sick. This time the minute I took him out of the car somewhere on the Coquihalla, he had a fit of diarhea, much of which stuck to the feathery long fur on his haunches and tail.

All I had was a roll of paper towels and a small can of Diet Coke which I had to waste by dumping sideways as best I could onto his ass area. Another scene, thanks to the dog, and another reminder that many times in life, only precious water will do.

A nice woman from the gym lives nearby, and it turns out her husband’s a handyman. He’s retired, gets bored, and so enjoys doing a bit of work here and there. His name’s Jurgen, and I often run into him as we both walk our dogs around the neighbourhood.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned I needed mulch, and he offered to get it for me in his trailer. As it turned out, we had a bit of a monsoon here last week, and that’s when we decided to get the mulch. “We” meaning I was asked to go along in order to pick out the grade of mulch I wanted.

The place is past the dump, on an unpaved road, and with all the rain I said to him it’s a good thing your truck’s got four-wheel drive. My car wouldn’t have made it. I got out, ankle-deep in black mud, but get this, it was only $70 for two huge yards of mulch.

The workers loaded it up with a backhoe, and we made our way back to Kelowna. Jurgen said just keep the trailer so you don’t have to unload twice, and I said that was great. Then I had the sense to ask how long that might be, and Jurgen replied, “two or three days.”

Once he’d driven off, I tried shovelling a wheel barrow full. I looked at the enormous mound of mulch and sighed. It was now Tuesday afternoon.

On Wednesday it was raining hard, and the same on Thursday morning, though by noon the sun had returned. I got out there and shovelled for four hours, and got at least half of the trailer unloaded.

On Friday I spent another four hours, and could see I was down to one or two wheel barrows, and that’s it. I decided I could wait as my body said please stop it. It wasn’t just the shovelling into the wheel barrow. There was also the careful sprinkling of the mulch around the base of half an acre of plants.

By Saturday morning it was done, as I did the last two wheel barrows first thing, before my body noticed anything was amiss. However I then walked the dog, and went to the gym for an hour of cardio. After that I met a group of Federal Liberals for a bit of door to door campaigning.

It was about 30 degrees, full sun, and we were in what’s called the Upper Mission area. This meant an awful lot of long uphill driveways or stairs. By 12:15 I said to my campaign partner, “I think I’m going to throw up.”

I didn’t, and we made our way back to our hot vehicles and I drove home with the air conditioning on high. Once I’d been home for a while I felt fine, and thought damn it, I have to mow the lawn. I then did that, and I believe that’s when my entire body went into a full on strike.

I felt something like those poor soccer players must feel after playing in 40 degree heat in South Africa or Qatar. Or perhaps how the triathletes feel after their day in Penticton in August. Brutal, damned heat!

Those of you around my age will remember the fantastic ground-breaking TV show, Laugh-In. The hosts would do a schtick with a large finger, called The Fickle Finger of Fate. It would be used to point out some misfortune or other that had befallen a person in the news.

I was thinking of it today as I walked around lovely Hall Road with the dog. Our neighbour, Jean, two doors over, just died last week of leukemia at age 63. I met her 25 years ago when we moved here, and though I never really knew her, we always stopped to chat when we’d cross paths on our walks.

It just seemed particularly cruel in her case, as Jean walked, didn’t drink or smoke, and never said mean things about anyone. Once again it reminded me of the brevity of our time here, and how important it is to enjoy every moment and not get mad over every little thing.

Though I sure got mad at Louie the other day. Squirrels decided to move into the little dilapidated shed at the top of the driveway. Louie hates squirrels ever since one was trapped in the sunroom last year and he was within a hair’s breadth of catching it.

Louie was under the shed, as it’s suspended on the hill, and so he can get in underneath it where it’s up on stilts. I left him there for a couple of hours, but finally I started to call and call as I wanted him in and for us to get into bed.

No matter what I did, he refused to move. I pretended I had food, and that didn’t work. I then got a long stick and slapped it at him, but it was too short and he evaded it. I was practically beside myself wondering how to get that damned hound out when I saw the hose.

I took off the sprinkler end, turned it on and dragged it over to the shed. I called the dog, and he didn’t come, so I plastered him with a strong jet of water. I called again. Nothing, so I sprayed like a lunatic as he huddled in a corner. I just kept the water trained on him and finally out of desperation he gave up and came out.

There’s fine Okanagan dust under that shed, and when mixed with water, and smeared onto a long white tail, it’s all quite a mess. I had to lift the dog into the tub and bathe him before he could get into bed. I admonished him the whole time, explaining none of this would’ve happened had he listened when I called him.

You’ll note above I said I met Jean 25 years ago when we moved here, and on Monday June 1st it’ll be the 25th anniversary of me living in this house on Hall Road! Even though it often tries to kill me, I love this place.

I just watched the last 7 episodes of Mad Men and can honestly say I’m in love with Don Draper. But as I said to Margaret, Don Draper and his ilk are generally not interested in senior citizens.

However that doesn’t upset me, given the alternative, which could be the Fickle Finger of Fate in the persona of the Grim Reaper. Better to be a senior citizen than not, I say.

Yesterday I attended a workshop on beekeeping at the Okanagan Bee Farm. It was a very informative four hours. For example, I learned the best success for over-wintering hives is to kill the poor queen each year in July. Isn’t that sad? But apparently it’ll help reduce mites, and secondly prevent swarming.

Chris Boulanger, the owner, said just kill the queen, and you can even throw her into the hive to show the other bees she’s dead. Then after a short while the bees select an egg and it receives royal jelly, and in two weeks you’ve got yourself a virgin queen. She then flies out and mates like mad, and returns to lay eggs faithfully until the next July when she’s murdered.

During the two weeks when the new queen’s developing, no eggs are being laid, and this breaks the mite’s life cycle, so it’s apparently a very green way to rid a hive of mites. I simply can’t recall how the regicide stops swarming, but it does.

Whether I’ll ever have honey remains to be seen, but all I can do is try. Next month I’ll get a hive of ‘nucs’ or baby bees, and then we’ll see what happens. All I know is every two weeks I have to put on my bee suit and inspect the frames, and I already feel a bit dizzy thinking about that part.

Mother’s Day was largely a success until I arrived home from Osoyoos. I had given Luke a ride here as he wanted to drive his terrible red car home. For some reason, early in the evening, I went into the garage and I noticed it was hot.

I went downstairs and told both kids about it, and they shrugged. I went back out and sleuthed around until I found the breakers for the base heaters were turned on! I then stormed downstairs and screamed at them that the electricity bill was going to kill me.

Neither had any idea how those breakers got turned on, so I went to bed in a funk. Just as I was falling asleep, I heard barking, got up, and saw all of the doors were open, and Luke was in the shop working on his car. Louie was out, barking like mad.

I had another screaming fit, got the dog, and went back to bed. Another Mother’s Day done.

A couple of days later I had a proper celebration. I took myself and Liz’ gift certificate to Art Knapps to shop around. I found a lovely bougainvillea that I plan to put out in the summer and then take inside as a house plant. I also got what’s called a hardy Chicago fig tree, so I hope that works out.

Do you love Dollarama? What a great chain that is. I needed a pot for the fig tree and didn’t want to get gouged so went there. I got a lovely pot for $3 and a handy plate to go under it with wheels for easy moving for $2. Hard to beat them for most things.

You know how some lakes “turn over” every spring and fall? I do the same with my shoes. I just moved my 20 pairs of winter shoes into my office closet, and the 20 pairs of sandals into my bedroom closet. I found a couple of pairs to return to thrift, so that’s always a bonus.

That’s what my daughter-in-law said to me the other day, and I said, “I know.” But one forgets, living in Canada, that people in other parts of the world aren’t nearly so lucky. I try to be grateful at all times for all that I have, but it’s helpful to have someone from a country like Thailand point it out.

I’m surrounded by people, friends, family and neighbours, whose incomes dwarf mine, yet I don’t give a whit as I work to live, I don’t live to work. Having time makes me feel wealthy. Plus we know it’s not what you make, it’s what you spend that counts. And as a thrift store aficionado, it’s hard to spend a lot.

Recently Nicky informed me he’s on a diet, so that cuts down on groceries, too. He attends the gym daily, and is tall, slim and well-muscled, so why he’s on a diet no-one knows. But I’m certainly happy with it as then maybe some of my own blubber will go away.

However it’ll have to go away after this weekend, as I’ve two menus planned, one for dinner tonight and the other for lunch tomorrow. I’m going to Osoyoos and will be making both of the meals there. The dinner includes us plus Jerralynn, and for the Mother’s Day lunch James Graham and his wife Julie will be there.

Liz died in December 2012 and Liza in late May 2013, so last year I invited James and Julie to come for Mother’s Day. They loved it so much they wanted to make it an annual tradition and we said sure.

For tonight’s dinner, the menu is seafood casserole a la Brigitte Jordan. This is made with just shrimp, scallops, salmon and cod and about a pound of butter. I’ll make rice, haricots verts Lyonnaise, and gingered carrots. I’ve made a chocolate cake for dessert.

For Sunday’s lunch we’ll start with carrot soup, followed by a chicken salad made with grapes and gently roasted sliced almonds. I’ll accompany the salad, which I’ll put on a nice butter lettuce leaf, with Dijon roasted potatoes and asparagus.

As you may recall, Liz was crazy for meringues so I’ve made those, and as the chocolate cake is actually a four-layered torte, we’ll probably have some of that leftover for dessert as well.

All of this sounds a lot better than the kind of stuff Louie’s eaten this week. Nicky was working on the patio table for me and a bit of WD 40 dripped onto the deck and Louie immediately licked it up. I looked on the can which shows a skull and cross bones and thought this is it, but he was fine.

A while later he’d found a nest of about 10 quail eggs in the xeriscape garden and proceeded to bite into them. I had to wrestle the shells out of his mouth. After three eggs I just took the whole nest and put it over the fence, as my hands were covered in egg by then and I could see this was going to go on for a long time.

So as I prepare for the weekend of food, in the immortal words of Walter White, Let’s cook!

Yesterday morning I went to Artie Knapps for some chicken manure and a new sprinkler head, browsed the nursery and bought a few heritage tomato plants, and headed for Staples to do some photocopying.

As I stood at the machine making copies, I felt something tickle my back under my shirt so I put my hand down my neck but couldn’t find anything. A few minutes later I felt it again, around my bra strap area, so put my hand up under my shirt, and felt around. I decided it must be an errant label of some kind.

Once done with the copying, I hopped into the car and headed down Leckie, a four-lane road on my way home. Suddenly a wasp flew out from my shirt, and stung me on my chest as I slapped it away. I veered over to the right to park while avoiding a collision with another vehicle. I got out of the car and stood there, searching the interior for the damned wasp.

I couldn’t find it, and I had to get home, so I re-entered the car and started praying. I prayed all the way, and thought as long as I don’t cause an accident all will be well. I thought I can handle another few stings, but not a car crash.

From a distance I noticed the advanced arrow at KLO Road was blinking and knew I wouldn’t make the light, so I turned off at Fisher Road, which has one of those Local Traffic Only signs, even though it connects to KLO at the other end.

I drove at what I considered a very sedate pace of about 40 KPM and as I rounded the corner some idiot in his yard yelled at me to slow down. I felt like parking, getting out, shoving my fist into his face and screaming at him, “I’ve got a wasp loose in the car, mister, now get outta my way.”

I was elated to see my driveway and parked at the gate where I was met by little Louie, wagging happily. I told him mommy had to find a murderous wasp. I looked and looked, and then I saw it. It had been sitting on the inside of the driver’s door, about two inches from my left shoulder, the whole way home.

I had to play hard ball with the staff at Value Village the other day. I wanted to buy a Gap jacket that was marked at the usurious price of $14.99, however I noticed it had a tear in the lining. I was already planning to use my 30% off card, but still didn’t want to pay $10 for the jacket.

I asked for a supervisor, and pointed out the tear, and they said okay 20% off. Then I got to the till and said a supervisor said 20% off and I want to use my 30% off card. They tried to balk, but I held my ground, and so got the jacket for half price, which is all it’s worth. It’d be $5 at the most at any of the other thrift stores.

I got an old White sewing machine for Jan for $20 that works beautifully. She used to work in a sweat shop in Bangkok before she began cooking, so I think she’ll like having it around for little projects.

Soon it’ll be time to plant the heritage tomatoes, and all of this has to be done in the heart of Wasp Country. How something so small can strike so much fear is a mystery.

Louie turned two on April 1st, and today it’s Mango’s 11th birthday. Wrecks will turn 12 on May 10th, God willing. So we have a lot of pet birthdays to celebrate over a short time span. They never get gifts, though, as they’re so unappreciative of them.

At the time of Louie’s birthday I noticed he was sneezing like mad and thought he must have a cold. Then I realized he has seasonal allergies. Apparently age two is often the time dogs can develop allergies, and this little genius began right on the very day he turned two.

I give him children’s Benadryl and it seems to help a bit, as do windy days. Yesterday on our walk we met the mail man, and he said he has allergies, too. It was windy and he said just like Louie, his symptoms were a lot milder that day as a result.

Luke and Jan’s wedding/welcome to Canada party went swimmingly. I made dinner for 30 people, and it was so easy I want to help others to do it for themselves as well. As with any party given by Martha Stewart, it’s got to be executed with military precision. Detailed shopping lists, followed by daily To Do lists, so that by the day of the event there’s almost nothing left to do.

It was a big effort for many people who travelled here from out of town. Freddie and his family came, which was great as the next morning was Easter Sunday, so I had a massive egg hunt for the little grandchildren. Jan and Haruka (Nicky’s girlfriend) had never experienced Easter, so partook of the hunt and loved it.

Luke and Jan slept in the guest room, so Margaret had to bunk in my office as I have a single bed in there. In the morning she said she was in the midst of a lovely dream only to be awakened by the sneezing, snuffling and gagging of the dog at 2:00 AM.

When Nicky came upstairs he said he’d also been awakened by the dog, and I said, “Huh!” I was sleeping several inches away, and they were either down the hall or downstairs, and heard the cacophony. When I’m sleeping, I’m really sleeping.

The kids love telling stories of how when they were small they’d be standing by my bed, talking, and I wouldn’t wake up. These would be summer nights, and they’d be up ranting around until all hours, and I went to bed at my usual time, whether still light outside or not.

They said it scared them for someone to be sleeping like a corpse, not able to be awakened by anyone or anything. It’s some sort of strange gift, I guess.

Last Saturday Petra had a surprise birthday lunch at her house for Kathy which was fun. I’d seen Kathy at the gym that morning, and she said her friend Bev was picking her up and they were getting Petra for a birthday lunch out at a restaurant.

I said well that sounds like fun, and chuckled to myself. We were told to arrive by 11:30 and hide our vehicles. At about 12:15 Kathy walked in and we screamed surprise! and she was truly surprised so that was great.

I should plan surprise parties for the pets on their birthdays and see if they appreciate those, but I doubt they would.

I’d hate to see what I’d be like flying 15,000 km away from home to live in a new climate and culture, yet Jan’s doing amazingly well. I bought her a lightweight zipperless hooded grey sweat shirt which she wears non stop over her T shirts, but I said to her you’re going to have to buy warm things. Can you imagine coming from 35 degrees C to here in March?

Jan’s very open to learning how things are done, and I always start etiquette lessons with, “Here in Canada we…..” and then explain the custom. She always replies emphatically with, “Okay mom!” and I must say once she’s been told something she does it that way each and every time thereafter.

Just now mom phoned to say she’d taken Jan shopping at Sonia’s, a nice boutique in Osoyoos. Mom said she’d bought Jan a lovely long dress for the party next Saturday, so that’ll be great as with her figure she’ll look adorable dressed up like that. Just like a living doll.

Kathy had a lovely birthday dinner party for Petra last week, and their friend Bev brought along her friend Ken, so there were seven of us. As always, Kathy had the table set so beautifully. I should buy more accoutrements for the dinner table as it sure makes every dinner an event.

Once we got into the evening Ken told us about something magical and wonderful that we simply had to check out on line. We all said what’s it all about, and he said he couldn’t say, but we needed to look at it. He said it’s called Zeitgeist, and asked if we’d heard of it.

The next day I Googled it and went Oh my God, as Zeitgeist is some nutty conspiracy theory site, filled with insane rants and bizarre theories. I e mailed and Kathy and said “Um, Ken’s a conspiracy theorist, did you know that?”

While God knows we all have a right to our own opinions, some are just too off the wall to be taken seriously. And as you know, I’m good with strange ideas and odd people, so it’s not like I’m closed to stuff, but the conspiracy theorists are just nuts in my opinion.

And speaking of whacky, the other day I went to a few thrift stores after the gym, and then came home and tried to exit my car, and couldn’t. I had to crawl out the passenger side, and no matter what I or Nicky did, the door wouldn’t open.

I dropped it at a shop where it took them hours to figure out what was wrong, and they eventually had to order a part which had to be couriered. I was therefore without a car for four days, but it turned out to be fine, except for the bill of over $600.

On Saturday I drove Nicky’s hot rod to the gym and grocery store, Sunday and Monday I practised what wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet would be like and loved it, and on Tuesday Kathy picked me up and took me to the gym and drove me back home.

By Wednesday I was mobile again, ready to shop myself rotten for Luke and Jan’s impending party.