I often tear recipes out of newspapers and magazines, and did the same with a homemade mayonnaise recipe in this month’s Martha mag.  I was quite excited about it, as I recalled making mayonnaise 25 years ago, and loving it.  As I now have my herb planter in full swing, I had my heart set on some mayo with herbs to accompany some lovely wee new potatoes.  Of course part of the excitement is whipping the family into a frenzy of anticipation about it, too.

Imagine my sadness when the oil I drizzled into the eggs refused to become incorporated, instead separating.  I added the requisite tablespoon of lemon juice, so then I had coddled, separated eggs and oil.  Very disappointing, indeed.  Nonetheless, I had to carry on, so just got out the good old Hellmann’s and added the chopped herbs.  Everyone was fine with it, so all was well for that night.

 Because chocolate and mayo have become my life’s companions, I’ve decided the only recourse for this stomach is this season’s short smock, or else a mini tent.  I need an item of apparel that is fitted at the shoulders, then balloons comically over the corpulent middle.  When worn over a fitted pair of shorts, this could work as my legs have remained normal-sized.  When I mentioned to a youngish, thinnish woman the other day that I go to fitness four times a week, I noticed her eyebrows shot up.

Here in Kelowna we’re expecting the Mountain Pine Beetle to come in and eat up all of our trees.  I, however, have decided that I’m not putting up with it, so bought $600 worth of packets of pheromones which one staples to the trees.  They have to be attached at around 3 metres off the ground, so I had to get Denis to help me.  Those projects always turn into a lot of amusement for the neighbours.  At one point I screamed a very bad word at Denis, and then were was a brief flurry of strong language on both sides.  The storm soon blew over, however, and we managed to do 20 trees.

The garden is looking fantastic, though sadly I see that several of the dahlia bulbs I bought this spring are obvious duds.  Some of my over-wintered bulbs are looking good, so it will be a lot of fun to see a familiar bloom in August.  Sometimes when I take them out in November I have the sense to label them, but at other times, I don’t.  Then, I just wing it in May and wonder who is going to be where.

Imagine the force of will required, but I phoned one of my regular customers, the Kelowna Wine Museum, and of course they ordered!  It’s silly, isn’t it, to just sit here feeling bloated when I should be getting out and about and selling like a wild hyena.  Plus, I have a new angle: made and delivered locally.  Yes, I feel I can probably do a nice manageable business right here in our lovely Valley.  Take that, carbon credit junkies.

It’s hard to believe, but I’m finally back with my blog after all this time!  I thought I would go insane as I waited for The Sainted Web Designer to get this set up for me.  I’m now posting my own blog, so this should be interesting.  As I cannot record messages on the answering machine, play a DVD or change a printer cartridge, it amuses me to think that I’m left in charge of publishing my own blog.  Very amusing indeed!

In any case, the summer marketing of Okanagan Harvest Cake has nearly ground to a halt.  It’s shameful, and  I tell myself every day that I’m going to do something about it.  Then I get distracted by the yard (it’s been sunny so I’m out in the garden), or by the mere idea that something in Value Village requires purchasing.  I’ve gotten some pretty sweet things there lately, such as 5 gorgeous blue wine glasses. 

Denis said, “Value Village.  That’s that place in Rutland, right?” as I showed him my various finds the other day.  I said, “Don’t even think about it.  You’re a complete amateur and won’t find a thing.”  As we all know, retail shopping takes a modicum of brains, but thrift store shopping is something best left to the experts.

I reminded Luke that his welding course ends next month,  and asked if he’d sent out any resumes yet.  His reply was “Oh crap! I keep forgetting!”  I find this quite curious, as how can one forget to apply for work?  In any case he told me again how he hated being here, (though he added that he loves us all very much just hates having to witness all of our daily routines) and how much he wanted to get out, to which I replied that this is quite easily accomplished by mailing out some resumes.  Two plus two sometimes just doesn’t add up to four with that kid.

I have just spent over $500 at the vet for Arnie and Mojo.  Mojo had a bad back, Arnie needed a refill of insulin, and  now he’s developed dry eye.  Oh, well what can one do when one’s dogs get old?  Old dear Arnie is now a complete mess, but he’s Mother’s Baby, so I just have to endure the bills. 

Last night Luke and I were desperate for a snack, so I made chocolate mousse.  However, by the time it was all over, I had eaten about half a pound of chocolate, plus a sturdy helping of the mousse.  It was quite good, actually.

Well, onward and upward as I now hit the ‘publish’ button for the first time.  If if works, I will be relentless.

On Thursday morning I casually began slicing and wrapping 135 pieces of Okanagan Harvest Cake to be used as samples in a wine event at The Toasted Oak in Oliver.  One and a half hours later, there was a slick of sweat on my upper lip and my hands trembled slightly, but I was done, and very glad to have it behind me.  I then counted out 135 rack cards and made the lovely drive south to Oliver.  I dropped the samples and cards, and am of course now hopeful for some sales.

The dear people at Hawthorne Mountain Vineyards in Okanagan Falls have said they want to carry the product in their store again this year.  Hurray!  It’ quite remarkable the number of people, even locals, who go to the winery stores, as I’ve had quite a few sales as a result of people finding it there.

The poor people at the tourist information centre in Osoyoos have been browbeaten by my dear mother to try some.  I’ll drop one off to them the next time I’m in the south, which should be sometime this week.  The Okanagan Spring Wine Festival occurs the first four days of May, so I want to get my deliveries made prior to that.

Aside from that, I’m totally ignoring the garden, and pretending that it really doesn’t need anything anyway.  We have a serious watering problem, as both of our outdoor taps are broken, so when you turn on a hose more water pours out at the tap than out of the sprinkler.  I keep large pails under each tap, then use a smaller pail to scoop out water and pour it onto the beds, pretending I’m a medieval peasant.  I wonder how many years it’ll stay like that.

Due to sheer nervous prostration, I decided to see if Winners would have any of the delicious things I’d seen in the recent In Style magazine.  Wouldn’t you know it, but those stinkers had quite a few items.  I bought a gorgeous black jersey paneled skirt that comes with a super-wide belt, and is almost ankle length.  Did you know that black and white is very big this year?  Guess who found a fab black and white jersey wrap dress?

Sadly, Ricky had chewed a hole into my black leather slides, which I wore constantly last summer.  Well you certainly can’t expect me to wear that black skirt or that dress without black sandals can you?  Exactly.  So, off I went to Winners and got a dear pair of Liz Claiborne wedges.  Tres cute.

I do have one truly sweet area of the garden right now, though, and it’s a little hill of periwinkle.  It’s currently in bloom, and is a beautiful sky blue.  In the midst, I planted a flowering almond, and its blossoms are a beautiful cotton candy pink.  I like to just stand there and look at it.  Then I come inside and stare at my garden of shoes, and go, “ain’t life grand?”