Trust me on this, but it’s really hard to write a witty blog when you’re in a very bad mood.  The reason for this is my inability to shed even one ounce after trying the Atkins diet for the past four days.  I had decided that drastic measures were required for blubber reduction, so thought this would work. 

I went on-line and researched the diet’s requirements.  I’ve been on this diet before, but that was about thirty years ago, so could vaguely recall the butter, bacon, whipping cream, etc.  I went out and stocked up on all the fat that they recommended, then went about eating it. 

For breakfast I’d have two or three eggs fried in butter.  Lunch would be a can of tuna mixed with full fat mayo on two cups of lettuce.  A mid-afternoon snack would be half a pound of cheese; dinner a pound of meat with a vegetable.  A bedtime snack might be a few rashers of bacon. 

At 4:00 AM the other day I woke up with the worst heartburn.  I thought back to the bacon I’d eaten a few hours earlier and realized it was the cause.  Thank God for Gaviscon, is all I can say.  However this, as well as the general revulsion I feel toward this type of eating, has caused an abrupt change of heart. 

Now I’ve decided that a low-calorie diet is going to be much better.  I will return to the Weight Watcher’s principles, and hopefully to God that will work.  Sadly, the breakdown always occurs around 7:30 PM.  That’s when my thoughts turn to President’s Choice Chocolate Chunk cookies. 

Another reason for being in a very bad mood is the inability of stores to pay up for their Christmas fruitcake purchases.  It’s really disheartening the number of letters and e mails I have to send to ask them to pay for something they sold long ago.  Isn’t that just the height of rudeness? 

However it’s probably a good thing in a strange way, as it motivates me to find alternate customers for my product.  Of course my dream is to be a totally web-based mail order business, but that takes a long time.  Not sure what will take longer – to be rid of this fat or to have found a better way of selling.