Twelve days remain before Christmas, and I plan on imbibing: 12 Spitzbuebchen, 11 Zimtsterne, 10 shortbread cookies, 9 cups of egg nog, 8 butter tarts, 7 pieces of fruitcake, 6 bottles of wine, 5 chocolate truffles, 4 marzipan chocolate bars, 3 Kahlua and creams, 2 boxes of Lowney’s chocolate cherries and a Stollen.  Kidding.

The strangely spelled words in the previous paragraph are German, as you probably know.  The first two items on the list are cookies that my gramma made each Christmas, and now I make them.  She was born in 1899 and learned to make them from her mother, so the recipes are very old.

And then of course Stollen is that German raisin bread that’s filled with marzipan.  This must be eaten accompanied by a cup of coffee and then you get ‘zee whole experience!’  I can say that because of my heritage.

Suffice to say by January I’ll be thanking God I have my size 12 – 14 clothes to fill.  Maybe by February I can return to the 10 – 12 range, but we’ll see.  You’d think from the nervous prostration caused by the fruitcake business that one would lose weight.  Much to my chagrin I’ve found that not to be the case at all.

Here’s something really spooky:  I know how many fruitcakes I have on hand.  The basement is under complete control, and I’m totally ready for whatever happens.  I’m not sure what it all means, and I’m a little worried.

However, here’s something that may be happening which would blow all of my organization out the window.  Phil Johnson, the host of 1150 AM’s morning show e mailed me that he’d like to come out and do a show from here!!  I hate to even mention it because it may not happen, but if it does, look out.

They’d just have to ignore the fridge which is still out in the yard, as well as the tarped vehicles.  I guess we’d have to muzzle the two small dogs, but Arnie would be okay because he’s deaf and blind.  Once in the basement the crew would have to be careful not to slip as they walk over Nicky’s clothing.

I want all of you to think positive thoughts so that this will happen.  I really want to be kibitzing around with Phil, live, on the radio.  Can you imagine the traffic that would be driven to the stores carrying my fruitcake?

Now I just have to put it out of my mind for the remainder of the day as I continue to bake my German Christmas cookies.  I always make them for my sister-in-law Margaret, my brother Freddie and his wife Wendy, and of course my sainted mother.