It’s my birthday today, though we had a celebration at my mom’s in Osoyoos on Saturday evening.  It was just a small party of nine people for dinner.  Unfortunately, due to being impulsive and imprudent, I accidentally imbibed too much wine and felt like death on Sunday.

So imagine the pain of getting into a vehicle in full blazing sun and temperatures in the 30’s.  When Denis and I got home we saw that in the 24 hours we were gone an awful lot of food had been consumed.  Remnants were left of the usual groceries, but there was evidence of take-out from the Greek restaurant in Rutland as well.

I just looked at the counter filled with dirty dishes and debris and told Denis I had to have a nap.  When I got up the dear man had washed everything and the kitchen was pristine.  Surprise!  When I got up this morning the entire counter was filled with food debris and dirty dishes again.

Can you imagine how unhealthy it is to be filled with murderous rage day after day?  The only thing that helps me survive is knowing that I don’t have to drive off to a job.  Instead, like Lily Munster I can hand everyone a lunch on their way out the door.

As a result of my new life of caring for others, I think I could easily run a small group home for the mentally disabled or the elderly.  I mean, really, what would be the difference?  The folks with whom I reside can’t make their own food or clean up after themselves.  They’re unable to recall what day of the week it is.

To placate myself I’m having lunch out with my friend Kathy from the gym.  It’s going to be wonderful to actually go to the gym this morning as well.  The Monday class is a killer combination of step and weights.  That should sweat out a lot of nasty toxins.

I had a pleasant e mail the other day from a nice woman who had ordered wedding favours in 2006.  She said her second son was getting married and they had all loved my fruitcake so much for the first wedding that they wanted it again!  Something like that can really brighten a day.

To cheer me even further, the four of us are going to our favourite Greek restaurant, Yama’s, for dinner.  The kids and I already know we’re having the calamari because it’s absolutely fantastic there.  The tzaziki is so heavily laced with garlic that you can easily stun a panhandler at five metres.

So here I am, aged fifty-five, hence older than Madonna, yet younger than Cher.  Sadly I have ten times their cellulite and one millionth of their income.  However I have the pleasure of being on the couch at 7:00 PM, freed from doing gyrations on a stage.  That’s gotta cheer a person up.