The Domestic Engineer

When I went downstairs the other day I found the phone book shredded into hundreds of pieces.  Luke and his friend Ryan Higgins were sitting there so I asked them what had happened to it.  Luke said he’d seen someone rip a phone book in half on TV, so he tried to do it, but couldn’t.  He then acted incredulous when I informed him that I actually needed the phone book.

This is merely a very small example of the types of things I’m subjected to on a daily basis.  On Canada Day I was leaving in the morning to go to Osoyoos to visit mom and Gerry and spend the night.  I left a note of things for Denis to do, one of which was to water the vegetable garden in the morning.

Luke was leaving for Calgary that day to visit The Boarder for a few days, and I’d helped him find a small bag for his clothes.  Nicky was off work on the 1st, but said he was working the next day, July 2nd.

I had a lovely time in Osoyoos, beginning with a gourmet lunch provided by mom’s friend Jerralynn.  We then had dinner out at some friends and watched the spectacular fireworks.  It’s hard to believe but true.  This is one of the best shows in all of Canada.

When I arrived back home on the afternoon of July 2nd, I saw Nicky’s car.  I went downstairs and asked him why he wasn’t at work and he said that no-one was there so he went home.  I came upstairs and saw Luke’s bag with his toothbrush and clothes sitting near the entrance.  I asked Denis if he’d watered the vegetables to which he replied he hadn’t.

I relayed this story to my friend Kathy at the gym, to which she asked, “How do you stand it?”  I said, “Because I don’t work outside the home.”  If on top of helping three brainless males I also had to organize myself to go to a job, I think I would go over the edge.   I used to do it, but how?

Besides babysitting adult males, I think another ideal job for me would be recipe-tester.  I’ve noticed that some recipes sound good, but when made, are less than wonderful.  This recently happened to me when I tried one of Martha Stewart’s Cookie of the Month recipes.

They were called strawberry shortcake cookies, and involved fresh strawberries.  Now imagine making quite a stiff cookie dough, and then trying to get diced, juicy strawberries incorporated into it.  It doesn’t work well.  The on top of it all, there was only half a cup of sugar in the whole thing, so they simply weren’t sweet enough for anyone’s taste.

So if you have any witless males that need watching, or want any recipes tested, please contact me.  I am an expert.

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