Bye Bye Blubber

I know this is just going to make everyone really mad, but I have to tell you anyway.  I’ve lost eight pounds in the eight weeks I’ve been at Weight Watchers!  And this despite eating at least four 500 gram containers of creamed honey and I don’t know how many dozen loaves of bread.  For me the secret appears to have been in alleviating the insane amounts of fat that I used to power down.

You know how we always read articles that say people think if they lose weight they’ll finally be truly happy? The articles allege that true happiness lies within, and losing weight or winning money is not going to make us happy.  However, now that I bought a pair of size 10 Lee jeans at Wal Mart, I beg to differ.  I’m now happier than I’ve been in a very long time.

Out of the blue I received a phone call from a woman named Sharon from an American magazine called Country Woman.  She asked if I would consent to being featured in their ’09 Christmas issue, and I said of course.  I’m not sure what American exposure is going to do for me, as I don’t have an export license, but what the heck.  Maybe this will be the prompt I need to look into that.

It’s nice getting calls from customers, who are like, “Are you…. I mean, is this…. Nuttier than a Fruitcake?”  They’re kind of shy and scared to ask such a loaded question.  My whole-hearted response is always, “Yes!  This is nuttier than a fruitcake.”  May as well lay it right on the line, I figure.

That dear 88-year-old gentleman from Nova Scotia who ordered two fruitcakes last year ordered again this year.  He had e mailed me “In all my 88 years I have never had a better fruitcake than yours” so of course he remains one of my favourite customers.

However, even though these calls and e mail orders are nice, I’m now in that panicked mode where I desperately need the media.  So in an inspired moment I sent an e mail to Phil Johnson, the host of a local AM radio talk show.  He phoned back 15 minutes later, and said, “I’ll interview you on-air tomorrow morning at 7:20!” We did that interview, and it was great, so yesterday I went downtown to thank him with a couple of fruitcakes.

As it turns out, Phil plans to come out to my very kitchen in the next while to do a more in-depth interview!  While fantastic, of course my heart is filled with dread as I picture the vicious barking and attacking by the weiner dogs.  I guess they come by it honestly, as one of our favourite sayings around here is “Release the hounds!” like from those old melodramas.

You know how some dogs hate the sound of a doorbell?  Ours hate hearing the word “Hi” and it causes them to hurtle themselves to the front door, barking.  So of course as soon as I said “Hi Phil” the listeners could hear a wild cacophony of barking.  I had to do the old, “heh, heh, heh, sorry about that” and just prayed there wouldn’t be another opportunity for them to act like idiots.  I’m sure that’ll be coming soon enough.

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