A Fine How Do You Do

The Harlequin Romance Critique Service said, “Don’t quit your day job!”  I re-read their critique several times, feeling sure that I must have misunderstood.  However, the words, “overwritten, predictable and unconvincing” seemed to convey quite a strong conviction on their part that I need a lot of help.  Thank God the creative writing course starts on May 12th.

Being slapped down by the Harlequin people reminded me of how mirthful I was last fall entering the CBC radio writing contest.  The same comments must have floated across the judges minds then, too.  Meanwhile, I was breaking out in laughter every few minutes thinking about what an extraordinary wit I am!  Life is funny, isn’t it?

There was nothing amusing about the heavy snow that fell on Saturday!  I’ve never seen snow in April before, and found it quite distressing.  The forsythia was totally weighted down by the snow, and the tulips, pansies and daffodils were totally flattened by it.  I got a broom and knocked some off my rose bush, and then covered the bush in some plastic bags.  God knows what the flowers will be like this year.

Two nights ago it was minus 11 degrees, which is just ridiculous.  The water in the bird bath has been frozen for the past few nights!  Just now I was outside and needed a zipped-up jacket, as well as long pants.  Nonetheless all of the beds are bone-dry, so I have to water even though it is certainly not gardening weather.  The poor birds and bees must be frozen solid.

Of course there’s zero progress on the grand garden project, but there has been some forward movement on the new product.  I now have a lovely new label, and am looking forward to marketing my product with it.  It’s a butterscotch-coloured label with burgundy accents, and the theme is of rows of fruit trees with the sun behind.  Hopefully it’ll convey a feeling of the Okanagan to the tourists who are to be buying it.

Yesterday I went down to the proposed site for the garden project and began to pick up some of the huge rocks that were unearthed by the backhoe.  The two miniature dachshunds enjoyed it tremendously, but Arnie’s sight is now totally gone, so he just stayed at the top, howling balefully.  He’s spent every day of his life since he was six weeks old asking himself the question, “Where’s mommy?”

Remember Sylvester the cat on the Bugs Bunny show?  He had a little son who would walk around with a paper bag on his head, because he was ashamed of his dad for being beaten up by a mouse.  He would say, “Oh the shame of it all.”  Sylvester would then angrily grab the bag off his head and tell him to cut it out.

I guess I’ll have to have a paper bag ready for Denis when he gets home.  I’ll have to tell him that he will not be seeing my book amongst the pulp fiction in the grocery store – yet.

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