Insane Ingenuity

I’ve developed a new and fantastic product, and am basically crazy with excitement about it!  It’s funny how innocently these things begin, isn’t it?  You’ll recall that back in January I was considering doing something insane like chocolate pate.  Then when I thought about it, I realized that I was losing my focus, which must remain on my being a fruitcake monger.  However, I knew that I had exploited every angle of fruitcake, and to move into a new market would take some ingenuity.

I recalled the article written by Catherine Caldwell in the Calgary Herald about how she takes Okanagan Harvest Cakes on hikes. I decided to phone the co-owner of Edible BC in Granville Island Public Market to see what she thought of the product being presented in a smaller package.  I told her about Catherine’s article, and she thought this might sell really well.  However, she said the word ‘cake’ would not work, and encouraged me to invent a new name.

I went to Fritz the box maker, and gave him an Okanagan Harvest Cake cut in half lengthwise, and asked him to make me a box.  I started to brainstorm names for a bar, and after great thought and deliberation, have decided to name it Okanagan Fruit and Rum Bar.  I tried it out on a couple of people, one of them being Nicky, who just went, “mmmmm.”  I thought that boded well for future sales.  My pal Alison said that she would buy it.

So now I need to have new labels designed and made, and then off I go, to re-visit all of the wineries in the Okanagan.  “Please sir….”  I always like to pretend I’m little Oliver Twist, the orphan, asking for more food.  It’s funnier if you say it with a slight English accent.

 Isn’t my new product the most brilliant idea in the entire world?  I am going to sell bar after bar, and the best of it is Denis’ attitude toward the new product.  I told him about it, and he said, “That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”  Can you imagine what will happen when my sales go stratospheric?  I am going to be off to Hawaii for some nice R and R, and he will be here taking care of the pets.  C’est la vie.

However living with me is probably very healthy for Denis, as he is always presented with new ideas to keep his mind active.  The other day he came upon one of my gardening projects and asked the age-old question, “What in the name of God in Heaven are you doing?”  It’s at times like this that I try to speak very slowly and deliberately so that he can understand.

He appears similarly perplexed by the rather large vegetable garden project I have initiated in the lower yard.  We were down there the other day, and he was just shaking his head while I was running around screaming, wild with excitement.

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