Tag Archive | food

Dog Germs

Oct17

I went to Osoyoos for the Thanksgiving weekend, and our friends Jim and Federico came from Vancouver. Having people at mom’s along with me makes the time there a lot more bearable. As much fun as it is to hang with a morose, cranky 100.5 year-old, it’s still way better with friends there.

We decided to have the big dinner on Saturday so that we could eat leftovers for Sunday night. Since we were all leaving on Monday it made no sense to leave all of that delicious food behind. I’d made the usual turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, broccoli, yam casserole (the one with marshmallows on top) and Jim and Fede made stuffed acorn squash.

The next day I didn’t want to eat turkey leftovers for both lunch and dinner, so decided to keep the noon meal kind of light. I had a bunch of carrots that I hadn’t cooked for the dinner given the glut of vegetables so thought a carrot salad would be a nice accompaniment. I grated a few and added a dressing made of mayo, sour cream, a finely diced clove of garlic and a squeeze of lemon.

The new food was then placed on top of the night before leftovers and suddenly the whole pyramid of bowls started to tumble. I grabbed at some of them and was busy peering into the fridge for new places to put all of this, when I realized the bowl of carrot salad was on the ground, right side up, minus its saran wrap. I heard slorping sounds and looked to see Louie scarfing back as much as he could.

Undeterred, I simply put the remaining salad into a smaller bowl and put it on the table when it was time for lunch. There was a green salad, and I’d heated some pork tenderloin from Friday night’s meal, and so no one noticed nor cared that I didn’t want any of the carrot salad. Happily, it all got eaten, and I restrained myself from telling them about it afterward. It’s our secret.

Nicky’s always said “Mom’s hobby is food tampering,” but this time it was an honest mistake. But then I was raised never to waste food, so what a dilemma, right? Anyway, if any of them report worms I’ll act completely shocked.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how well my wee memoir’s being doing on Amazon. I’m also shocked at people telling me “I couldn’t put it down.” However, the unfortunate part of marketing a book requires the use of Instagram, and I’m a mentally fragile Boomer who dislikes technology. However, I now have a handle, Moni Schiller Writes, so I hope to God I get the hang of it very quickly.

I’ve discovered I’m not a candidate for intermittent fasting, as it can trigger a migraine. I know what you’re thinking, but I’ve tested it out, and all signs point to me eating like a horse from the moment I wake up until I fall into bed. Fortunately I go to bed early.

I had last eaten at 7:00 PM on Sunday and then waited until 11:00 AM on Monday to eat, and wham! Migraine aura followed by feeling very bad for the remainder of the day. Why would I want to do that to myself when my fridge and cupboards are calling? Oh well, another weight loss method to add to the list of those tried, including Scarsdale, Atkins, Pritikin, and Keto.

Elsa and I went to thrift yesterday and I sent her a message after I’d tried everything on saying I wasted $10 but still had fun. She replied, “Still cheaper than the movies!” It’s a sickness.

Centenarian Tests Nerves

Oct3

Mom’s caregiver Karen who used to come for an hour a day, five days a week, has taken time off, likely with no hope of her returning. So now I have to find someone in a terrible hurry, and decided to just go with Interior Health, which we’d wanted to do originally. However when mom found out she’d get a different person each day she balked, and that’s why we went with Karen.

But now at 100.5 years of age, and with a very diminished mental capacity and zero physical stamina, I think she’ll just have to accept the revolving caregivers, right? It’ll be a lot of fun actually, because with just Karen and Jan mom couldn’t tell them apart or know which one was which. So add five care aides per week, and throw Jan in for fun in the afternoons, and look out.

I’m busy trying to market my memoir and am going to have to learn Instagram and use it. At first I thought I’d have to do it all on the teensy weensy cell phone, but luckily it can be done on my sainted laptop, where all creative things are made. Margaret set Instagram up for me on my phone, and the icons that came up were so small I needed not just glasses but a magnifying glass to see them. I realized this wasn’t going to work at all.

So now I’ll have to consult with my friend ChatGPT to figure out how to post on Instagram. I imagine myself as minor film director skulking around my house and yard for fitting reels. Then sneaking up on pets with my camera capturing them doing adorable things. Given my memoir is about food, I suppose the odd baking demo might be fun.

I’ve sold a dozen copies of my book, and am hoping this continues, reaching a crescendo in November when people shop for Christmas presents. The book is about fruitcake after all, so what could fit in better than that? I plan to make some of my Totally Decadent fruitcakes and pair those with a copy of the memoir for marketing purposes.

It’s still sunny and warm, blue sky without a hint of clouds and the garden is beautiful. I have to get outside and rake as living within a ponderosa pine forest one has a lot of needles to contend with. Nicky planted a chestnut 30 years ago and this tree’s now huge and sheds approximately one ton of chestnuts per year. All onto the driveway which has to be raked and swept for hours.

I spent $75 on very chi chi cheese at the Grate Cheesery here in Kelowna, as Margaret was coming and we were headed to Osoyoos for lunch with Denis, Luke and Mom. I made chicken souvlaki, Greek salad and roasted potatoes, so for dessert had the cheeses and grapes. I’ve never spent that much money on cheese in my life but it felt really good to do it. Freeing.

Yesterday I had some of this fancy cheese around, so I made a gourmet macaroni and cheese dish with them. I’ve never done this before, but you put the uncooked macaroni, cheese and whipping cream plus milk into the oven for 45 minutes and voila, very creamy baked mac and cheese. And then made with the decadent cheeses it was mighty good.

Trevor’s coming today to complete the re-recordings for the audiobook, and I’ll give him the leftovers because at around 1000 calories per serving a dish like that isn’t really good for me. It’s good for him, though, as he’s normal sized, actually quite thin.

Mom continues to eat at least three Ritter Sport chocolate bars a day and has no desire whatsoever to rein that in. And really, why would she when she’s in her 101st year?

A lot of Lunches

Aug7

It’s interesting, but I’ve become a kind of a ghost placeholder for widowers. First my friend Ron, Rhonda’s widower came, and I made a ground pork, cheddar and noodle casserole, which he liked a lot. We talked about dear Rhonda and how wonderful she was, and I sent him off with a hug and a piece of chocolate cake.

Then came lunch for my friend Patricia where I had cleverly made extra of the casserole, and we had that however with a different salad. She loves cherries so I made a lettuce salad with cherries and a delicious dressing, and cherry clafoutis for dessert. Google those as they’re easy to make and delicious.

Elsa and Marie came for lunch on separate occasions and those are largely stress-free events as they happen so frequently. Then I made a new friend, and this was my junior high school friend, Bobbi’s widower, named Chad. He came for lunch, and I made us butter chicken, then he came to Osoyoos a few days later where we scattered some of her ashes.

Mom’s peaches, Glo Havens, are ripening in Osoyoos and they’re one of the nicest varieties around. She has 19 trees on her property so that’s a lot of compote, jam and pie. I was just there for my usual visit and picked around 25 pounds and want to return for more, but how when my nerves are shot from the drive as it is, so adding in an extra trip isn’t a good feeling.

Here’s another weird feeling. I now weigh 5 pounds less than I did when I got married 40 years ago. So the other day when I was cleaning out old stuff, I found my wedding dress and noticed it was a size 11. Should be perfect, right? I unzipped it and pulled it up over my hips and slid my arms into the sleeves then reached around to pull up the zipper.

Well. Do you know I’d need an extra foot of fabric to close it? How is this possible? I weigh less, yet can’t get even get close to zipping a dress I actually wore comfortably when I weighted more. I failed physics, you know, and this is another puzzle for me to ponder. I took it off, folded it and returned it to the trunk, to be tried on again in twenty years, I guess.

The other night while aimlessly scrolling through You Tube wondering what to watch, I saw Sumo Wrestling championships in Nagoya Japan. I thought what the hell, you can only watch so many plane crash and people slipping and falling shows, so clicked on that, and found out I just adore it. It’s so quick I’d hate to be there in person as you really need the slow mo replays to fully enjoy it.

What you get are two lard-filled behemoths crashing into each with such force their thigh fat ripples. At other times it’s like Bugs Bunny and the charging bull, he just steps aside, and pa-wang the bull hits an anvil. In this case a cagey wrestler steps aside at the right moment and his opponent steps out of the ring. End of match.

The other day I dyed my hair the colour of your standard mouse. Getting the Miss Clairol mix just right is hard, and see above, physics wasn’t really my thing. I guess this is more like chemistry as I mix two colours together, but now that I think of it, I failed chemistry as well. I’m not a math/science student by any stretch of the imagination.

But if you want a nice lunch made while reminiscing about your significant other, I’m ace at that.

Back to the Old Routine

May16

Holidaying in April may seem like a good idea, however if one gardens like a lunatic, it’s not an ideal time to be away. Nonetheless I’ve managed to get myself out into the yard most days, weeding and planting like there’s no tomorrow. It’s a tad on the cold side so I’m leaving the tomatoes and cucumber plants in the greenhouse for now, but I want to get my sainted dahlias into the ground.

Elsa and I went to thrift to hunt for treasures and amazed ourselves with the volume we managed to haul home. I also visited mom in Osoyoos and brought her chocolate from Germany, which she appreciated, given her penchant for it. She’s still getting half a litre of wine and a couple of chocolate bars down a day.

Then there’s the work on my memoir of the fruitcake biz, which I’d hoped to have ready for the public by this month, but alas, it wasn’t to be. I felt discouraged about it all, then out of the blue got a lovely e mail from Sharon Thesen, a published writer for God’s sake, who wrote about my little book Okay, I’ll Bite, “I love the book, what a service you have done to mankind by writing it.  Maybe especially womankind.  It’s so encouraging and witty, and life-loving and smart.”

Can you imagine what that does to a person? Now I have the motivation to return to my memoir and get it polished and ready for a late fall release. Why? Because a friend of mine who’s also a writer pointed out that a book about fruitcake would do well coming out at Christmas. Brilliant, right? Plus, now I can relax about it and enjoy the final editing process, as if that could be possible.

Then there’s the usual baking and cooking that I do both for the purpose of it being eaten, but also for therapy. If nervous, I start to bake. It was Gilles the garden handyman’s birthday, so I made my famous chocolate chunk torte for him, and he loved it. I made crème brulee for Marie and me for our Mother’s Day lunch and gave the leftovers to Calvin and Visini who wolfed it down with cries of joy.

I like to spend Mother’s Day with Marie, as she also experiences a challenging relationship with her daughter, as I do with my younger child, and so we give each other joke gifts. Last year I gave her a mug that said World’s Best Mom and this year she gave me a hilarious T shirt which says Rocking the Mom Thing. We both adore sardonic wit.

In keeping with usual routines, yesterday the Crones and I met at the Eldorado for Happy Hour which was pleasant as it was warm enough to sit outside. Not satisfied with the amount of liquor I’d imbibed there, when I got home, I made myself a nice guava juice and vodka cocktail. After that I thought what a great idea to do some laundry.

I’d already done the wash, and so it just needed to be thrown into the dryer. Sadly, my arm caught the large bottle of liquid Tide, which splashed onto the open dryer door, getting everywhere. For a moment I wondered what it all meant, do you start again and wash? Or ignore it and dry? I went upstairs and decided this was a problem best solved in the morning.

This morning it was solved with a lot of paper and regular towels, and as it turned out the stuff inside the dryer wasn’t soaked in Tide so I was able to just dry it. It all reminded me of growing up and hearing “you’re a bull in a China shop” from my mom, which then of course exacerbated the bullishness.

Trip to Leavenworth, Washington

Nov26

In the spring Marie suggested we should do something fun to celebrate turning 70, and said a cute destination is Leavenworth, Washington. I’ve never been but have heard a lot about it from friends who have, so said sure, let’s do it. We booked for two nights and drove down last week.

It was time for an early lunch when we hit Trino’s Mexican Restaurant in Oroville, then we proceeded straight to the Icicle Resort where we arrived around 3:00 PM. We were thrilled to see our huge two-bedroom condo where they’d basically thought of everything a person could need. Just outside the window we saw the pool and hot tub, both heated.

The person at the desk said it was about a fifteen-minute walk into town, and so we thought that’d be nice after our drive. However they’d had a huge dump of snow that morning so the sidewalks weren’t shovelled and in places we had to go out onto the highway to be able to make our way forward. By the time we arrived the cute little town’s trees and stores were all lit up and it looked magical.

We needed liquor so walked back to get our car and drove to the Safeway where it took forever to make up our minds given the vast assortment. I settled on a bottle of a pre-mixed margarita by a company called On the Rocks. We had a drink back at the condo, then drove to town and looked for a place for dinner.

Even though we were in a Bavarian town we decided to eat Italian food, and it was delicious. The place is called Visconti’s and is upstairs and felt all cozy. I ended my chicken and mushroom fettuccini meal with a delicious, strong Irish coffee.

On Thursday we started the day with an attempt at eating the breakfast, which was included, but it wasn’t good, so we just ate a bowl of raisin bran, then headed to Das Thrift Haus for a bit of shopping. I bought two tops for $4 each, and then we went into the cute town and looked at the price of chi chi items in the stores and laughed a bit.

We stopped in at a photographic gallery and admired the landscapes. The artist was there and so we chatted, and of course the topic of the election arose. We said yes what a strange result, and he explained no, not really as you know, Robert Kennedy has a lot of really good ideas. We said huh! He added Elon Musk is really going to clean up some of the bureaucracy, and we said you are probably right.

When we left, we said wow, we sure had that person pegged wrong. Of course we should’ve taken the hint never to speak about politics when we saw a huge, fat man in a T shirt decorated with the stars and stripes and Trump written across it. They are everywhere down there. I said to Marie never say “cream” just say “half and half” or we’ll be outed and shot. Ditto “sack” and not “bag” or “a fifth” versus “a mickey.”

After thoroughly browsing the town, we returned and decided to be brave and hop into the hot tub. We found two big white robes in the closet, donned our bathing suits and shoes, grabbed towels and ran out the back, tip toed through the snow, and unlocked the gate. We removed the bubble wrap cover and ahhhh! Lovely pulsing hot water and steam rising all around. We looked like those snow monkeys in Japan.

We ate German food at Andreas Keller that night and were thrilled to have an old German man playing accordion. He played the Chicken Dance, and we loved doing the clap clap clap clap at the appropriate places. It appeared he was happy with our participation. I’m sure some nights he gets nothing but duds sitting there.

The next morning, we checked out and made our way back, however in Wenatchee we missed a road sign, and then I randomly said “turn left” which Marie did. Later she asked why I said that, and I asked her why she listened when she knew I had no sense of direction. Suffice to say we were badly lost but found good Samaritans who drove ahead of us until we got to the right exit where they waved us on.

Thanks, Americans. We may not understand them, but as we see time and again, when someone needs help, good people step in.

You’ll Probably Find This Hard To Believe

Feb28

As you know, I’m the Laziest Human on Earth, so to think I’m at 21,000 words on my memoir is quite astounding. But when you’ve written a blog since 2009 it’s not all that difficult to go back in time. I force myself to write 1000 words a day as that’s very manageable. Then I’m allowed to waste the rest of my time on YouTube videos.

Re-reading those blogs I see pets, food prep, adult children who won’t move away, and gardening projects were huge topics. Another subtopic was the fruitcake business, which was the point of the blog, and then to a minor degree every few blogs saying yep, for sure, I’m ready to write a book, though it never happened. Now that I’m doing it, I find it astonishing, but I guess it’s true, for everything there is a season. Or decade.

And speaking of many decades, mom turned 99 on Sunday, so now she’s in her 100th year, hence the party this summer to celebrate that. As I said to her, if dead, we’ll use the party as a memorial. If alive, more fun for mom, plus she’ll have seen all the people who will be invited to her eventual memorial. Mom’ll appreciate that given she wants to know everything about everyone all the time.

I made mom’s favourite Bacardi rum cake for her birthday dinner with Luke and me. I’m able to get an entire 26-ounce bottle of rum into a Bundt cake, and it’s so moist, pungent and delicious mom will wolf the entire thing in a few days. In her younger years she could eat an entire cake, but now maybe one quarter per day is her limit.

Nick and family came to visit at mom’s to say goodbye as they’re shoving off to start a new life in Japan. I’m so proud of him for having such an adventurous spirit but I think he comes by it honestly given my dad left Germany at age 23 to start a new life in Canada. It seems to be what the family does, move all over the world, embracing new cultures. Maybe we’re part Viking or something, though they beat up cultures, so who knows.

I used to be all snooty about the Kelowna Actors Studio, then I went to New York, and now I like the Actors Studio. Forty years ago, shows on Broadway were huge complete with an orchestra, but now there’s not all that and the tickets are around two or three hundred dollars. Here I paid $65 to see an excellent production of Tootsie and loved it.

As you may know we’ve had two huge fires, one in 2003 and the other last year, destroying hundreds of homes. I have a lot of ponderosa pine trees and so a lot of needles and I wondered what the best way is to get rid of them. In the past I always had them hauled away, but then people said you can compose them so I wondered if I should do that.

I contacted the City and a person from the landfill replied, “I don’t know. Ask a consulting company.” I thought wow, I pay $350 a month and though I do have garbage collection, and I suppose the police, fire or ambulance might come if I call them, but other than that, I’m unsure what else I get other than rabid high-rise development. The City of Kelowna is a curious place.

I should’ve done this right from the beginning, as I know if I have a question, I can go to the Hall Road Neighbourhood Facebook page, and I’ll get all the free advice I need. The consensus was to remove the needles, and this makes sense given to compost takes a lot of water and time, and I have neither as we’ve been told a summer of drought lies ahead.