Tag Archive | christmas

First Christmas without Mom

Dec27

I wondered what it’d be like to enter Mom’s house the first time after she was gone. I’d picked up her ashes, and it was a melancholy feeling to bring them back into it. Three days before she died, when in hospice, she said, “I don’t think I’m gonna see my house again.” She didn’t say it sadly, or angrily, but stated it as a matter of fact. I replied I didn’t think so.

As I carried in the ashes, I thought nope, you’re not gonna see it, but you’re back, in the house that you lived in for 80 years and loved so much. I was scared I was going to reignite my nervous system and go into a bawling fit but I pulled myself together and put the box of ashes right beside Gerry’s in Mom’s closet.

In case you’re wondering, Mom promised she’d haunt me if I paid for an expensive urn as she wanted the ashes in a plain cardboard box, given she wants us to scatter them. I was expecting a dog fight at the funeral home, but the Nunes-Pottinger people were so nice they didn’t do any upselling and, on the contrary, provided a lot of additional services that are helpful.

And so, Christmas in Osoyoos was different, but still fun. Luke made a ghastly concoction of whiskey, Kahlua, egg nog, and coca cola and asked if I wanted one to which I said God no. I find there’s no way I can get around the Caesar at 4:00 PM. Like the character Karen Walker on the old Will and Grace show, I look at it and say, “Why are you so good to me?”

On Christmas Eve I slept in the house alone, albeit with the mutts, and I can report there was no ghost. Jan’s refused to enter mom’s house or garage since she died, which is really inconvenient for her and everyone else. She has to lug her bike up their steps now, and she’s also been unable to check the mail as the key’s in Mom’s house.

She will enter the house if other people are in it, so she brought over a basket of laundry, which has also been building up. Their washing machine’s been broken for months but we all know Luke’s never going to fix that, so she’s just walked over and used Mom’s. But not now. So before we sat down for Christmas Eve’s nice seafood dinner, Jan had to start the washing machine.

I don’t know how long this shunning of Mom’s house is going to continue as there are houseplants in there that will need water. Asking Luke to do that is like asking him to fix a broken washing machine; it’s not going to happen so why waste the energy? I think you can see how the next while is going to go between me, Mom’s house, and Luke.

You’ll find this adorable. I’m the executor of Mom’s will, but I don’t have a freaking clue as to what I’m to be doing. It’s kind of like I used to be in either the fruitcake or the vocational rehab business, wherein long reports would be due. In either case I’d sometimes do nothing at all and hope the elves would come and do it for me overnight. They never did and I’d have to work like a frightened idiot to make up for lost time.

I’ve sold approximately 60 copies of my memoir, Nuttier than a Fruitcake, and have 13 five-star reviews so I feel pretty good about that. I’m now going to map out my next book which will likely kill me as I have Mom’s journals and want to do a memoir about our turbulent and complicated relationship. Have you read Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs? Something like that.  

Centenarian Tests Nerves

Oct3

Mom’s caregiver Karen who used to come for an hour a day, five days a week, has taken time off, likely with no hope of her returning. So now I have to find someone in a terrible hurry, and decided to just go with Interior Health, which we’d wanted to do originally. However when mom found out she’d get a different person each day she balked, and that’s why we went with Karen.

But now at 100.5 years of age, and with a very diminished mental capacity and zero physical stamina, I think she’ll just have to accept the revolving caregivers, right? It’ll be a lot of fun actually, because with just Karen and Jan mom couldn’t tell them apart or know which one was which. So add five care aides per week, and throw Jan in for fun in the afternoons, and look out.

I’m busy trying to market my memoir and am going to have to learn Instagram and use it. At first I thought I’d have to do it all on the teensy weensy cell phone, but luckily it can be done on my sainted laptop, where all creative things are made. Margaret set Instagram up for me on my phone, and the icons that came up were so small I needed not just glasses but a magnifying glass to see them. I realized this wasn’t going to work at all.

So now I’ll have to consult with my friend ChatGPT to figure out how to post on Instagram. I imagine myself as minor film director skulking around my house and yard for fitting reels. Then sneaking up on pets with my camera capturing them doing adorable things. Given my memoir is about food, I suppose the odd baking demo might be fun.

I’ve sold a dozen copies of my book, and am hoping this continues, reaching a crescendo in November when people shop for Christmas presents. The book is about fruitcake after all, so what could fit in better than that? I plan to make some of my Totally Decadent fruitcakes and pair those with a copy of the memoir for marketing purposes.

It’s still sunny and warm, blue sky without a hint of clouds and the garden is beautiful. I have to get outside and rake as living within a ponderosa pine forest one has a lot of needles to contend with. Nicky planted a chestnut 30 years ago and this tree’s now huge and sheds approximately one ton of chestnuts per year. All onto the driveway which has to be raked and swept for hours.

I spent $75 on very chi chi cheese at the Grate Cheesery here in Kelowna, as Margaret was coming and we were headed to Osoyoos for lunch with Denis, Luke and Mom. I made chicken souvlaki, Greek salad and roasted potatoes, so for dessert had the cheeses and grapes. I’ve never spent that much money on cheese in my life but it felt really good to do it. Freeing.

Yesterday I had some of this fancy cheese around, so I made a gourmet macaroni and cheese dish with them. I’ve never done this before, but you put the uncooked macaroni, cheese and whipping cream plus milk into the oven for 45 minutes and voila, very creamy baked mac and cheese. And then made with the decadent cheeses it was mighty good.

Trevor’s coming today to complete the re-recordings for the audiobook, and I’ll give him the leftovers because at around 1000 calories per serving a dish like that isn’t really good for me. It’s good for him, though, as he’s normal sized, actually quite thin.

Mom continues to eat at least three Ritter Sport chocolate bars a day and has no desire whatsoever to rein that in. And really, why would she when she’s in her 101st year?

Doesn’t Everyone Bake Ten Batches Of Cookies?

Dec23

Because I regard my Christmas preparations as the norm for everyone, I’m always a bit perplexed and surprised by replies such as this one from my friend Penny. “Whew! Your Christmas preparations are dizzying but most admirable.” It’s the Martha Stewart in me; I guess I can’t just be average, I have to be over the top with everything. However so far all cookie recipients have been quite pleased by their assortment.

Here’s an incredibly stupid thing I did. I assumed a courier company meant faster delivery than what we were told to expect due to back-ups of parcels after the Canada Post strike. I went into Purolator on Friday morning around 9:00 and thought this way the parcels should surely arrive by Monday at the latest. They were weighed and placed into the shipping queue, I paid and said, “When will they arrive?”

“Dunno.” I said, “You don’t know? How can you not know when they’ll arrive?” After a few moments, once I was able to think clearly again, I decided to invoke the Gods of Shipping. I said to the woman, “Ya know what? I’m just gonna think positive thoughts and imagine them arriving there on time.” She then gave me a wink and said, “I think you’re right.” I felt like punching initially, but thankfully left with a Merry Christmas. Must be the season, right?

I got one of those hilarious Fart Ninjas, have you seen them? They’re motion-activated and make a few different farting sounds. I just like having it around as sometimes I forget it’s on the table and a cat jumps up and suddenly I hear “fraaap” or “poot.” Please don’t judge me, I have a very strange sense of humour. When bored I Google ‘People Get Hurt Slipping on Ice’ and other hilarious topics like that. I’m laughing now thinking about it.

This is the last blog of 2024 and as usual I’m pretty much ga ga with excitement and anticipation for a New Year to begin. I’m not making any resolutions, per se, but I do have two goals that I wish to achieve. One is to hire a Gen Z who knows WordPress to help me with it (this means doing most of it) and secondly, I want to start selling some old stuff that someone who collects may value.

It was good to have mom’s 100-year celebration in summer because she’s to turn 100 on February 25 and at this age it’s nip and tuck. Most days she’s in her nightgown and housecoat so not sure how much steam is left in the old engine. I do hope she’ll be in the mood for our Christmas Eve tomorrow night, and again for Christmas Day. Hamiltons are coming for dinner as they usually do which is great. Fred will wear his Christmas vest, made by Julie and decorated with snowmen and other related things.

I’ve had some very decent Christmas events here in Kelowna. The Crones came for dinner one night, and Calvin and I held our very successful 4th annual Christmas party. Each year another bowl of punch is added, and I think this time he made either three or four bowls, and it still wasn’t enough. This crowd can go through the liquor, which I love to see in young folks.

Sylvie and I had dinner at the Gasthaus in Peachland last night and today I’m meeting Marie downtown for Happy Hour, so life is pretty pretty pretty good here. I’m grateful for all of it, food, friends and family. Merry Christmas!