The Lipoma

You may recall a while ago I said I’d watched an interesting autopsy of an obese woman on Netflix.  It helped me visualise the layer of yellow fat that resides immediately beneath my skin and coats my entire carcass.  So imagine my surprise to learn that fat can also form itself into a nice tidy lump called a lipoma.

I went to the doctor and said what is this, and she felt it and said “it’s a lipoma.”  I had already Googled lumps so this word wasn’t new to me.  I had fully discounted it however, going for the more glamorous diagnosis of a colon cancer or something of that nature.

However my old doc said she has them too, and allowed me to feel one on the underside of her forearm.  She indicated it’s just another nasty side effect of ageing and to ignore it.  If I had a lump on my arm I think I would, but as it’s in my abdomen it’s kind of annoying.

We’ll see.  I have to live with the knowledge I have an egg-sized lump of hard yellow fat living quite happily among my organs.  And imagine how incensed they are after all these years to suddenly have to shift over and make room for this interloper.

For my birthday my friend Carol gave me a vintage drink shaker, and it has recipes printed on the outside of it.  I decided to try a whiskey sour the other day and man, are they tasty!  I haven’t had one in years, and made it with Canadian Club so maybe that was the secret.

I rarely ever lose anything, and so when I do I go mental.  The other day I was at the hairdresser, and showed her the price tag on the leather purse I’d bought at the SPCA thrift store last year.  It was from California, and the tag said $315.  I got the bag for $10.

Hence one of my greatest joys when someone said “nice bag” was to pull out the tag and say “look at this, and weep.”  That’s just one of the strange quirks of the thrift store shopper, we love to scream out the price we paid.  It’s some kind of hubris, I know.

Anyway, I got home and discovered I’d lost the price tag and was heart broken, so e mailed the hairdresser.  She replied she hadn’t seen it.  I was crestfallen, and then the next day she e mailed and said can you believe it, but when I left the building and looked down, it was right there on the street.

I said just put me down as a mental case, as who goes this crazy over losing a price tag?  She kindly said she’d keep it for me until our next visit.

But when it’s this hot there’s nothing better than to enter an air conditioned thrift store and browse around.  I thought I’d do that at Value Village the other day, and left with a bra, two pairs of shoes and 3 cookie tins.  However at $18 I felt it was probably okay to do that.

And it’s not the money that’s the problem, it’s the volume of stuff I haul home.  The other day I had to buy a lion and lioness ceramic statuette at the Sally Ann, and then do the usual wandering around the house for an hour trying to place it somewhere.  Enough already.

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