Defeated by the Dachshund

I just placed an on-line order totalling $157.19 for bulls’ penises.  This morning I shelled out over $30 for 3 penises at Buckerfields, and cut one in half and gave it to Louie.  Two hours later it’s almost gone, so I can see this isn’t going to work.

I went on-line and starting doing research on bulls’ penises and came upon this fantastic site.  It’s and they have really good prices for penises.  And they’re so good for the dog as they’re all meat and excellent for cleaning their teeth. 

Now I have a crate of penises coming so I hope that’ll last Louie for awhile.  But from now on I’m certainly not schlepping to a store when this was so much easier to do.  I can see how agoraphobia begins.

I needed to get out last weekend though, and decided to make my rounds of the thrift stores.  I nearly wept, but in the Mennonite thrift store I found a pair of Ingledew’s Grazia-brand made in Spain pumps.

The woman at the till and I examined them and thought perhaps they’d been worn once.  They were $9 instead of $300 so why not?

I got Louie a stuffed donkey a la Shrek, for $3 and it’s slightly larger than he is.  I could tell he liked it as he decided to have sex with it almost immediately.  Neutering didn’t do much to diminish his zeal around certain stuffed animals.

You know how compulsive I am over some things, and the juicer’s one of them.  Most days I throw a beet, some carrots, a bunch of parsley, an apple and an orange into it and make myself a delicious glass of juice.

 You’re thinking one would lose weight juicing, but you’d be wrong in my case, as I believe I’m gaining.  It’s my own fault of course as my gluttony knows no bounds.

For example yesterday Kathy and I were invited to Rosemarie’s, another nice woman from the gym, for a Devonshire cream tea.  She’s from the area so made us lovely buttery scones, and served them with strawberry jam and whipped cream.

When she sent the e mail inviting us, I salivated for two days while I waited.  Then yesterday I had a healthy glass of juice for lunch in preparation, so when I got there all ravenous, I proceeded to put as much jam and whipped cream on the buttery homemade scones as I could.  Mmmmmm.

So I suppose the dog comes by his insatiable appetite for delcious things honestly because of his adoptive mother.  One way we’re dissimilar however is in how dirty and messy he is.  He loves bringing in pine cones and then chewing them up, spreading debris throughout.

Louie also takes the stuffing out of his toys, and of course his favourite thing is to go downtairs to the laundry room and get a sock or underwear, bring it upstairs, and chew holes into it.  You can see how the money spent on the penises is a good idea.

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