Showered with Alcohol

Mom held her usual birthday extravaganza in Osoyoos for me on the weekend.  There were 16 people in attendance from the Town Drunk to the Town Mayor.  Jerralynn barbecued skewers of shrimp, pork  and chicken with mushrooms, onions and peppers.  She made a delicious Black Forest cake for dessert.

Because of past experience, mom wanted at least 16 bottles of wine chilled in the fridge, one bottle per person.  Some people don’t drink wine at all, yet all of it and more was consumed.  Jon, the Town Drunk, likely had three or four bottles on his own.  When he left he was incoherent, so I’m guessing he had the non-drinkers’ portions.

Guess what the majority of my gifts were?  That’s right, booze.  I received 7 bottles of wine and Nicky gave me a bottle each of vodka and tequila.  There were also gifts such as a lovely floppy hat, a bath set from the Body Shop, and Luke gave me his old Ipad!

Lynn, who’s lived on the orchard beside ours for the past 40 years, always brings me apricots for my birthday.  As I’m typing this I have part of my mind on the stove as apricot jam is burbling away.  She gave me about 60 pounds of apricots and I’ll need all of them.

When I arrived with my puppy on Friday evening, our friend Jim was there from Vancouver and so were Freddie and Wendy.  Jerralynn arrived after work, and then we had dinner and partied late into the night.  As you know, I come from hardy Hun stock, so my family parties like it’s 1999 all the time, yet I’m too weak for it.

So I’d like you to picture this scene.  My pup and I were fast asleep early Saturday morning when the amplified telephone in my room rang.  I lifted my sleep mask and saw it was 6:19 AM.  Then the orchard workers decided to drive their tractor back and forth under the bedroom windows for half an hour.

Needless to say I packed it in at that point, and got up, though I felt dead tired.  Due to feeling a murderous rage welling up in me I did the old star 69 to get the last number called.  It was David Bruck, Gerry’s middle son.

I left him a steely, measured message regarding the fact there was no message left from him, yet he had called at 6:19 AM so I was wondering if everything was okay.  He called later that day and said sorry many times, but both Freddie and I were miffed.  Freddie’s bedroom also has an amplifed phone, and he also had the tractor experience.

The birthday party was on Saturday night, so once again I didn’t get to bed until midnight, then was up around 8:00 Sunday morning, feeling seriously weakened.  I immediately got one of those ghastly migraine auras I now get if I’m over-tired and had to lie down for a while until it went away.

My pup and I took all day Monday to recuperate from Osoyoos.  Those people reading this who’ve accompanied me there are nodding when I say it’s NOT for the weak.

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