How to Gain Five Pounds Quickly

The other night Nicky was looking through the cupboards for something to eat after dinner, so I asked him if he wanted me to make him some pudding.  He said, “Sure!” so I made him some nice homemade chocolate pudding.  I use the old Joy of Cooking cookbook for recipes like that as you can’t beat it for simplicity.

I received a nice cookbook from Petra (a.k.a. Pat) as a hostess gift, and I tried the beef sukiyaki recipe.  I didn’t think it was all that great, as compared to what I’ve had in Japanese restaurants over the years.  But Nicky’s pal Taylor was over so I invited him for dinner, and both boys tried it and declared it ‘legit.’  They both loved it actually, so that was nice.

However, I don’t think I can properly convey the annoyance I feel every time I look out of my south-facing windows.  For 22 years I’ve seen nothing but trees, but now with a huge house being built across the road, I’ll have people staring right at me.

From Monday to Friday the builders are there, and it’s really disconcerting.  I’m so used to wandering out my French doors onto my deck and eating at the table, dreaming about lots of wonderful things.  Now as I approach the doors I’m assaulted by their old rock and roll music station and feel completely uncomfortable out there.

I’m not sure what can possibly be done about it, and the other day I said to Nicky maybe I’ll even have to stop walking around in my underwear.  But then I said you know, I think dad was right when he used to say, “If thine eyes offend thee, pluck them out.”

I mean, I was obviously here with this privacy before the house was built, so to put it in the kindest and politest terms possible: shove off.  If they don’t like what they’re seeing, they’ll have to cast their gaze elsewhere, because I’m afraid I don’t think I can change at this age.

And it’s precisely that type of upset that I blame for my recent weight gain of 5 pounds.  Remember how I dieted to get into shape for Toronto?  I guess once the trip was over I decided I may as well try to eat my troubles away, and though it didn’t work, I managed to gain 5 pounds of blubber right on my stomach.

I had another letter to the editor published the other day.  This time I wrote about why I’m against a ridiculous new development called Kelowna Mountain.  It would be comprised of a golf course, year-round snowboard hill, 1500 homes and a bunch of other stuff that’d drain this lake entirely.

I have to say, as well as the chocolate pudding and beef sukiyaki a lot of interesting cooking projects are keeping me completely stimulated, so that’s a good thing.  The June Martha Stewart magazine is a joy, and I intend to try some of the recipes, like the strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

I’m salivating over the flourless chocolate cookie recipe as well as a tres leches cake that uses coconut milk as one of the ingredients.  So I believe you can see my dilemma: food is fun to make and fun to eat.  It is comforting.  However, the excess “fun” is 5 pounds of fat in one month right on the gut.  Cruel!

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