Why I’m Afraid of Tradespersons

You know how some tradespersons act like they’re asking what you want, and then when you tell them, they do what they wanted to do right from the beginning anyway?  And when I say “some” I mean the vast majority, as that’s been my experience.

After a charade of playing “pick a colour” with the contractor who built our rental house six years ago, and ending up with what he planned on right from the start, I got wise to the whole game.  I said, “Look, Bob, let’s just stop right here and you just go ahead and pick the roof, siding and all other parts of the house yourself.”

Another hazard of being near them is the way the trades fight with each other.  When we did house reno’s we lived in fear the painter would hold up the carpet layer, and so on.  And now with my xeriscape project, I’m right in the middle of two really nice landscape companies and their sometimes opposing views.  Fun!

One landscaper said, “I want to use this sod to build a berm.” The other landscaper refused to have anything to do with that plan.  So today when Landscaper A wasn’t here, Landscaper B removed all the sod, loaded it up, and said no way to leaving any for that crazy berm idea!

Now I’m scared of what’ll happen tomorrow when the first landscaper arrives.
The landscaper:  Okay, where’s the saved sod for my berm?
Me: Um, they said they wouldn’t leave it because your idea is um, no good or something…..

But the fear of tradespersons is dwarfed by the fear of Nicky’s appetite after walking through orchards from 8:00 AM until 4:00 PM daily.  He works for the Regional District, in the coddling moth program.  They go orchard to orchard, hanging traps on apple trees.

You may recall my descriptions of what Nicky used to eat when bored.  Now when he’s worked up a day’s worth of appetite, it’s quite remarkable.  The other day he ate his usual two cups of heavily buttered cooked rice, topped with curried chicken.  Then he came upstairs and heated a large bowl of leftover spaghetti and meat sauce from the night before.

That kind of thing just starts him off.  He then downs a full 8 ounce glass of 18% creamo with a box of cookies.  Or a box of those Cinnabon cookie things they were demonstrating at Costco the other day.  They were a big hit.

But finally, more fearsome than the tradespersons, or Nicky’s whale-like appetite, is the call I received from Luke from Thailand yesterday around noon.  He said he was phoning because he wanted to tell me how much he loved me.  I said, are you drunk?  He said, kinda.  Then he said he was deeply in love with a girl from Bangkok.

I decided to go into a Zen-like mental space at that moment and just thought of the bright side: the Thai revere the elderly, and love kids, so I might be a loved mother-in-law with a huge number of grandkids.  Don’t worry, be happy!

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