The Six Thousand Calories per Day Diet

I couldn’t face typing this blog yesterday because I was too bloated to hold my arms out like this.  I’m no better today, but seem to have adapted quickly to Michelin Man arms.  You’re kind of like a robot, and have to turn your entire body to reach things.  The girth of the stomach prevents any normal twisting at the waist.

And why?  Simply because at Christmas I purposely decide to eat as much food as I can.  And I can really pack it away when I put my mind to it.  Because I felt we didn’t have enough sweets with just the cookies and chocolate, I made a chocolate and a lemon mousse as well.

But on Thursday it’s back to the gym and then with any luck, all of the bad food’ll be out of this house and I can return to normal eating.  Sadly, I have one of those fetishes whereby all of the food must be eaten before a diet can begin.

Luke showed up unexpectedly for Christmas, so that was a nice surprise.  He came home on December 21st, so on the 22nd we all went to Osoyoos for a Hanukkah dinner.  Gerry’s son David and family were there from Virginia, and Jerralynn came over to cook a gourmet dinner for everyone.

We had latkes with apple sauce, brisket, beets, and kugel, a Jewish noodle casserole.  For dessert Jerralynn made her lovely cheesecake, so that’s kind of how the bloating began.

By the next day when I drove home, I pretty well figured, what the hell, and just started eating Spitzbuebchen by the handful.  Those are the delicious cookies my gramma made every year, and which I now have to make for several people or they’d feel it wasn’t really Christmas.

Margaret and Brendan arrived on the 24th, and I made a brisket for dinner that night, too.  We all ate like horses, and then opened our gifts.  My sister-in-law Wendy sent me the cutest handmade Barbie dress, and I just love it so much.

Denis and the kids’ friend Felix came for Christmas dinner on the 25th.  After dinner we got into a marathon dice game, which Margaret won, and I came second, so I suppose it was worth our while.  As the men had insisted on playing for money, it wasn’t out fault that she made $100 and I made $40, was it?

Luke left early this morning, and made such a ruckus that I’m sure everyone was awake.  However, they’re all still sleeping, so believe me, I’m not going to be bothering any of them to get up anytime soon.  It’s just me with the cat at my elbow right now, and that’s the way I like it.

A year ago I found it quite easy to make some sensible resolutions for 2011, yet last night I was really struggling to think of some for 2012.  I suppose for starters I could try to cut down on the gluttony a bit.  I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m just wild with excitement about the coming year.  I’ll have to resolve to vibrate on this positive frequency at all times so I’ll attract only fabulous things.

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