Kidney Stones

Last week Luke said that his friend Dan, aka The Boarder, had asked him if he wanted a job that would pay a potential of $90,000 a year.  Dan, being an extremely ambitious and hard-working young man, moved to Alberta two years ago.  He’s since gotten himself a well-paid job in the oil field.  He’s already a supervisor, and hence was able to offer Luke this job.

I hesitated for a moment, but had to ask the question.  I said, “What did you tell him?”  Luke said, “I told him I’d have to think about it.”  I couldn’t answer for a moment, as I knew an inappropriate response might scuttle the whole deal.  Finally I asked, “Is it a horrible labouring job like dangerous oil drilling?”  Luke said, “God no!  I’d be sitting in a shack looking at a computer telling the drillers where to drill.”

Of course, one is stunned by their own off-spring, and I wonder if these moments don’t aid and abet something as sinister as the formation of a kidney stone.  In reality, of course, the experts tell us that it is due to dietary factors, but sometimes one has to wonder.

Remember all of my mirthful tales of sloth and over-indulgence?  Finally, on Monday morning the system reached overload and I went into renal colic.  If you’ve ever had a kidney stone and are reading this, you are wincing.  If you’ve never had one, just pray to God that you never do.  It’s about as close to feeling like dying as you will ever come.

I spent Monday in hospital on morphine, but was let out at dinner time.  I was sick and in pain for the next four days, but I must say I’m right as rain today.  It’s a great feeling after having been that sick.  And really, what better way to celebrate surviving such a thing but a trip to Winner’s to browse the shoe section.  I honestly do need a pair of semi-dressy black sandals.  Honestly.

Marketing for the business was out of the question for the past week, but I was happy to see myself described as “Writer and Culinary Artist” in the summer issue of Okanagan Arts Magazine.  Whether it’s true or not, it’s a heady feeling to be graced with those terms.

Even half-dead I managed to listen to Sounds Like Canada on Thursday and they had an adorable segment of listeners’ ads for selling fruitcake in July.  The orders continue to dribble in, and I even managed to send an emergency request.  One of my dear customers was having a shower on Friday night and wanted six fruitcakes.  Near death, yet determined, the intrepid entrepreneur makes her way to the post office……..

And so, the puzzlement over the lack of genetic conference of the ambition gene remains.  Oh well, the kid did say that he has now indicated to Dan that he wants the job in Alberta, so perhaps we will have a happy result after all.

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