The One-Armed Paper Hanger

Sometimes I think of the leisurely job of the one-armed paper hanger and feel envious.  Or else, I think of the cushy jobs of the slaves who built the pyramids.  I’m sure they had the opportunity to sit to eat, or else to have a few hours to sleep at night.  On the other hand, the life of the fruitcake monger in December can only be described as Living Hell.

It was absolutely divine of Steve MacNaull of the Daily Courier to write such a nice article about me.  However, imagine my surprise on December 6th to receive a couple of dozen orders from Red Deer!  I asked one of the people, and she said there had been an article in their paper.  I got those orders out by the skin of my teeth, then opened my e mail two days ago and there were 30 orders from Nova Scotia!  A person there e mailed that a nice article had appeared in their local paper by a writer named Steve MacNaull.

Now I’m scared to open my e mail, as I don’t know which other papers might pick up that story.  Yesterday I threw a President’s Choice frozen butter chicken dinner at Denis, and Nicky made himself a frozen pizza.  I packaged for 14 hours without stopping, eating a couple of hard boiled eggs at noon, standing at the counter.

This morning I was the first person into one of the postal outlets, and took my 30 parcels to the poor clerk at the counter.  Fortunately, she remained good humoured about the entire thing, and as people were just starting to line up, I managed to avoid starting a fist fight.

Due to being this busy, I made the mistake of writing up a grocery list and sending Denis to the store.  I said to Nicky that I didn’t even recognize what store he’d shopped at from the obscurity of some of the items.  Important things, such as the cats’ Temptations were missing entirely.  He bought all of the canned varieties they hate.  I said, “Why didn’t you get the Friskies grilled salmon and the cod, shrimp and sole feast?”  He alleged that he couldn’t read the words on the list!

Yesterday I arrived home to a message from a writer for the local Event newspaper/magazine, asking if I would be willing to be photographed and interviewed.  Being the indelicate publicity hound that I truly am, I said sure.  Now that article will come out and drive sales once again.  Oi vey!

But with just 13 more day of Living Hell to endure, I’m sure I’ll make it.  I even managed to get a tree and decorate it as well as most of the house, so am keeping up with some of the holiday prep.  I’m afraid my yearly tradition of writing personal letters to family and friends will go by the boards, but I refuse to give up on the dream of doing some Christmas baking.  Crazy, I know.

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