Tag Archive | dogs

Living in a Viper’s Den

Spoiler alert: I’m the viper. People ask, but how did you get here, and I reply I’m not exactly sure. However in January I needed someone to stay with the mutts while I went to Belize. My garden and yard helper, let’s call him Bill, had moved to Nova Scotia, didn’t like it and wanted to return to Kelowna at the very same time as my trip.

I then said well come and stay here with the dogs, and then you can start looking for your own place. I arrived home late on February 24^th and Bill said, good news, he’d found a place, however it wasn’t available until March 15. Gulp. He’s a very nice person and all, but we aren’t close buddies, if you know what I mean.

So then cohabiting with an employee began, and there were many bumpy moments, all on my part as I discovered I cannot stand living with another human being. I adore travelling with Margaret, or staying with Alison, but for me, having to live with someone I really don’t know turned into a harrowing experience. For Bill.

At one point he admitted he didn’t feel comfortable, and I thought maybe it’s because of the icicles forming all over my body when we’re near each other. I explained to him that I’m unaccustomed to living with anyone, and so I hope there’s no offense taken if I pick up my laptop and move into another room. I said I can’t do this otherwise. He seemed to understand.

In the midst of this, I’ve also been to the courthouse four times with my probate forms, only to be sent home with corrections. I figure the fifth time’ll be the charm. If I can get those accepted, I’ll be halfway to my goal of settling all of mom’s life. My last trip to Osoyoos I once again filled the car with books, tablecloths, bowls, pans, and many other things from 80 years in the same house.

The reason for this is that I decided I can’t take the stress of owning mom’s property and it will be put up for sale. First time ever as my dad bought the land in the early 1930’s for $200. Of course it’ll be very sad to say goodbye to that, however whenever I’m there, I see all of the things that need to be done to maintain an old house. I already own an old house here in Kelowna and am dismayed by it.

Luke is balking at cleaning up his yard, but the realtor insists the place has to look neat and tidy. I’m hiring Luke’s pal to come and do some painting to spruce the place up. The private 90 feet of Osoyoos Lake that goes with the property is probably the biggest draw, so I plan on staining the deck and maybe prettying it up with planters of flowers.

The irrigation man was here yesterday digging a deep trench around my fruit trees and beds down in the vegetable garden where the greenhouse is. I had called the company to say I don’t want to continue moving hoses around down there all summer and requested underground irrigation that I can just turn on or off at will. It’ll be like the invention of the light bulb, a miracle.

But in the meantime I have two more nights of Bill and I bumping into each other in the kitchen or the only bathroom. Yes, we have to share a bathroom. When I went to Osoyoos Jan, being a Thai Buddhist said it was nice I had a friend staying. I said he is not a friend, so she said “oh good for you, you do good thing to help him.” And I said no, Jan, I want to kill him, so it’s not a good thing.

Spooky Mild Winter

Feb7

Not to complain about the lack of snow and the 7 degree C daily temperatures, but it is a bit fear-inducing when you’ve lived through a forest fire-filled summer season, and therefore know what awaits us come July. Unless we get an awful lot of rain in spring we’re doomed to endure choking smoke all summer.

But the good news is the hens are enjoying the balmy weather so much they’re laying as though it’s summer. Even Condoleezza the black hen, who hasn’t laid an egg in at least six months, has started to produce again. There usually is a silver lining somewhere. Plus, of course not shoveling snow is a huge perk.

Next Friday Margaret and I are off to the Yucatan and Belize so I’m ga ga with excitement. Belize has the second largest reef after Australia so the snorkeling should be excellent. We’re taking carry-on luggage as we have to use public transport quite a bit on this trip so don’t want to lug huge suitcases on the bus. It’s a fun challenge to see how little one can pack and still live.

We’re so fussy we usually take our own coffee and French press, but due to space restrictions I said to Margaret I’ll bring the coffee, but we’ll have to cope with a drip machine in the Airbnb’s. Our first stop will be at a grocery store to get tequila, limes and canned milk. Strangely, there is no cream in Mexico. We learned the term leche evaporate and are good with that.

I’ve completed the probate forms and am now waiting for the Wills Search document so I can get everything notarized and filed. The paperwork looks like it was designed to frighten off ordinary humans but compared to the building permit nightmare for Mom’s property, probate was almost friendly. If the will is straightforward, I’d honestly say skip the lawyer and DIY—it mostly requires patience, persistence, and a very cooperative printer.

So, with that behind me I can concentrate on cleaning mom’s house up and getting it ready for sale. The beach front that goes with it, and where we have a very private deck and little bar, should help it sell. The property has never been for sale before as dad bought it for $200 in 1930 or 1931. It’s sad to say goodbye to it but I live too far away and I’m not leaving Hall Road.

Not that Kelowna’s anything to write home about but I adore my property and this neighbourhood. I’m a seven-minute drive from several thrift stores, and I don’t think anyone can beat that. People ask would you move to Osoyoos, and I reply no, there are no thrift stores there. Easy.

Old Gilles the garden handyman is actually willing to stay here with the pets so that’s a big help as I go on my holiday. Calvin works, plus he lives downstairs, so the dogs get too lonely if left with just friends dropping in to visit them in the day. This way there’ll be someone hanging with them all day and then all night, too. I can enjoy Mexico and Belize with a clear mind.

But one interesting thing about this winter is the shockingly cold arctic front in the East has also messed with Belize where the weather was unseasonably cold. It’d be horrible to leave an unnaturally warm northern climate to arrive at a strangely cold one in the south, but this could happen. I have to be prepared for anything including snorkeling in a jacket.

The Year of the Fire Horse, anything and everything could happen.

Dog Germs

Oct17

I went to Osoyoos for the Thanksgiving weekend, and our friends Jim and Federico came from Vancouver. Having people at mom’s along with me makes the time there a lot more bearable. As much fun as it is to hang with a morose, cranky 100.5 year-old, it’s still way better with friends there.

We decided to have the big dinner on Saturday so that we could eat leftovers for Sunday night. Since we were all leaving on Monday it made no sense to leave all of that delicious food behind. I’d made the usual turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, broccoli, yam casserole (the one with marshmallows on top) and Jim and Fede made stuffed acorn squash.

The next day I didn’t want to eat turkey leftovers for both lunch and dinner, so decided to keep the noon meal kind of light. I had a bunch of carrots that I hadn’t cooked for the dinner given the glut of vegetables so thought a carrot salad would be a nice accompaniment. I grated a few and added a dressing made of mayo, sour cream, a finely diced clove of garlic and a squeeze of lemon.

The new food was then placed on top of the night before leftovers and suddenly the whole pyramid of bowls started to tumble. I grabbed at some of them and was busy peering into the fridge for new places to put all of this, when I realized the bowl of carrot salad was on the ground, right side up, minus its saran wrap. I heard slorping sounds and looked to see Louie scarfing back as much as he could.

Undeterred, I simply put the remaining salad into a smaller bowl and put it on the table when it was time for lunch. There was a green salad, and I’d heated some pork tenderloin from Friday night’s meal, and so no one noticed nor cared that I didn’t want any of the carrot salad. Happily, it all got eaten, and I restrained myself from telling them about it afterward. It’s our secret.

Nicky’s always said “Mom’s hobby is food tampering,” but this time it was an honest mistake. But then I was raised never to waste food, so what a dilemma, right? Anyway, if any of them report worms I’ll act completely shocked.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how well my wee memoir’s being doing on Amazon. I’m also shocked at people telling me “I couldn’t put it down.” However, the unfortunate part of marketing a book requires the use of Instagram, and I’m a mentally fragile Boomer who dislikes technology. However, I now have a handle, Moni Schiller Writes, so I hope to God I get the hang of it very quickly.

I’ve discovered I’m not a candidate for intermittent fasting, as it can trigger a migraine. I know what you’re thinking, but I’ve tested it out, and all signs point to me eating like a horse from the moment I wake up until I fall into bed. Fortunately I go to bed early.

I had last eaten at 7:00 PM on Sunday and then waited until 11:00 AM on Monday to eat, and wham! Migraine aura followed by feeling very bad for the remainder of the day. Why would I want to do that to myself when my fridge and cupboards are calling? Oh well, another weight loss method to add to the list of those tried, including Scarsdale, Atkins, Pritikin, and Keto.

Elsa and I went to thrift yesterday and I sent her a message after I’d tried everything on saying I wasted $10 but still had fun. She replied, “Still cheaper than the movies!” It’s a sickness.

Eventful Two Weeks

Jul10

I had the great pleasure of making dinner for three Ya Ya’s and their husbands at the end of June. It was funny because when I told Mom I’d invited Phyllis and Gord, Penny and Jim, and Maryjoy she went into a total snit about it. She said she didn’t want the dinner at her house, and she didn’t want to be involved and would go straight to bed when the guests came. I said that was excellent, given there’d be six of us, and if she stayed it’d be an awkward number.

She kept bitching and bitching about it, saying she would’ve appreciated more notice of such an event. I said to her I think two weeks notice is plenty, especially given she wouldn’t be in attendance, so why did she care? I think she just wanted to ensure my nerves would be totally eroded by the time the dinner rolled around.

I told Penny and Jim to come early as I said mom wants to talk about death and dying with Penny. They came around 4:00 and so Penny just asked mom some questions about her views on living and dying and so on, and basically it was established even though Mom’s signed up for MAID, she’s too scared to die so isn’t going to go for that and instead will wait it out and die naturally.

By then it was 5:00 so the others arrived, and I’d made crab and cream cheese stuffed mushroom caps for appies, and mom happily scarfed a few of those. Then it was time to sit down for dinner, and I had set the table for six. Mom announced she’d changed her mind and would join us for dinner after all, so in a muttering fit I got out another place setting and grabbed an extra chair.

I’d made chicken Marbella with rice, a green bean salad and a cucumber salad, and Phyllis kindly made an angel food cake containing 11 egg whites for dessert as it was Jim’s birthday in a few days. Everyone seemed happy with the event and the food, especially Mom.

Because of the precarious nature of Denis’ health, Nick flew in for a visit and brought his little five-year-old son Justin. They stayed here in Kelowna for a night upon arrival, then went to Midway to check out old Denis. They visited gramma and me in Osoyoos and camped down at the beach.

At the end of their visit, I’d invited the Taylors to come for dinner which was another successful event. I’d made coconut curried beef stew, rice, and a couple of salads, and also a cake and some brownies for dessert. James and Ashley’s little girl and Justin played like mad hyenas and had a lot of fun.

Then it was time for Nick and Justin to head off, and I said honestly, one visit a year with a five-year-old is probably all old gramma’s nerves are able to take. The kid’s wonderful, smart and really cute, but still a menace in a home unused to children. The dogs and cats were completely traumatized.

I know the child’s mother reads my blog and will think what the hell? But it’s nothing personal, it’s just any pint-sized torpedo moving at a top rate of speed in a home accustomed to solitude could cause a raised eyebrow on the part of the old grand mere, non?

As a follow-up to old Denis’ situation, Luke, Jan and I visited him yesterday and he seems to be very frail after his health incident. He’s not at all able to follow the diabetic menu suggestions and I think not eating properly is a big problem for an insulin-dependent diabetic, but what do I know?

Now Louie’s Sick

Oct15

I suppose you think I went right ahead and applied what I had been taught regarding my WordPress site. Wrong. I was so frightened by it I haven’t been near it since. Beekeeping, owning chickens, adopting dogs and cats, growing dahlias all seem so simple compared to whatever occurs on this new-fangled typing device known as a laptop.

More technology hiccups awaited in Osoyoos when I arrived for the Thanksgiving weekend. I’d had someone come to repair mom’s roof, and in the process, he had to move the satellite, which meant no CNN or MSNBC which is the same as saying a diabetic has run out of insulin. It’s an emergency.

Luke had cleverly provided mom with the old Netflix remote and so she was back to hours and hours of Virgin River as she waited for her TV channels to come back. I phoned Shaw but they don’t have anyone available to come until October 29, but the nice person said call a local technician and see if they can do it. Turns out our friend Jim and Luke were able to figure it out all by themselves.

It was sunny and very warm in Osoyoos, so we sat out, and mom made her way out to sit on the deck with us. She managed to eat a nice plate of turkey dinner on Saturday night, and we all had a good laugh over my attempt to make pastry. Suffice to say the dessert was pumpkin custard with whipped cream.

On Sunday Jan noticed Louie was suddenly walking backwards a few steps, which was very odd, and he did it again yesterday back home in Kelowna. Then today he’s been completely disinterested in everything, lethargic, and not himself at all. I called the vet, and she said it could be kidney failure so I should take him to the hospital, but I said no, let’s wait until she examines him tomorrow and then decide.

Around here there’s always someone in medical distress. From the hen that died in the coop in the spring, to my mom weakening by the day, to the cat with his massive abscess and now Louie with whatever it is he has. And then people wonder why I drink. How else to cope?

The Crones got a surprise last week as we headed into Maestro for Happy Hour only to find the door locked. We then had to go to a Plan B which was fine as the Eldorado is right next door, so we went over there. Donna’s going to be 90 in December and weighs as much as my dog but can eat twice the amount of food in one sitting that I can. It’s kind of amazing.

We sat in the lounge and shared yam waffle fries and wings, and I slugged back at least two cocktails. That would be all the food I’d like to eat, but no, Donna said let’s go over to the dining room for dinner. So we went over there and it was lovely and quiet and I looked at the menu and said I think the most I can do is a bowl of clam chowder.

Donna had salad followed by the ravioli and ate every bit of it. It’s like watching those people who win eating contests. Some are tiny yet they can eat their own weight in hot dogs. Fortunately, this was a grade above, but still, the volume of it all. I can probably eat more than Donna does in a whole day, but I can’t do it in a single sitting.