I made so much jam I ran out of the jars I’d been storing all year, and had to buy a couple of cases at the Superstore.  I had about 40 pounds of apricots, so that’s a lotta cot jam, I can assure you .  However, it’ll all be eaten because it’s one of those things people expect when they come here.

You know when you go someplace where you’ve always eaten a certain, special thing, and then when you next arrive, they don’t serve it?  It causes too much trauma, so I think it’s better to make masses of jam.  I went through over 10 pounds of sugar in the process.

You’ll recall I was in some shock in June to find out that not only was Luke getting married, but it’d be in Thailand, and that I’d be in attendance, too.  Further shocks followed as the decision was made the entire family would go, and somehow cope with togetherness.

Today I’m sitting here stiff with anticipation over Nicky and the change about to occur in his life, and mine, too.  He was interviewed for some type of project management job for Telus in Vancouver, and though I hate to say it in case it doesn’t pan out, it looks quite promising.

This would mean after 26 short years of parenting I’d be a free agent once again.  It’s almost too much for a person to fathom.  I suppose prisoners freed after a long incarceration would understand my feelings the best right now.

And even if he doesn’t get this job, I can see it’s set his mind in motion for jobs with a bit of challenge.  He’s the sort of person who, even when small, we would beg to use his mouth for good instead of evil.  I had predicted he’d be a politician with that thing, and it may still occur.

I’m going to Osoyoos on Friday, because the East Indians who rent mom’s orchard are having the grand opening of their winery, Gold Hills.  My nieces Sunny and Julie will also be there because it’s Julie’s stagette weekend before her wedding.

Unfortunately, I’ll be there with a big fat stomach due to the stress of prepping Nicky for this damned interview.  You have no idea the abuse I take from that kid to get him ready for something like that.

Last night after he explained to me for the umpteenth time why he’s not going to study for an interview, I decided eating 3 bags of cookies was the best way of coping with my feelings.  He’s got the BA in psychology, not me.

My birthday was on Friday the 13th, and wouldn’t you know it, I woke up with the worst bursitis in my left shoulder.  I was in agony all day, and even cancelled my birthday lunch with Kathy.  I told her there was no point if I was just going to be sitting there grimacing.

It was still horrible on Saturday.  Margaret was here from Vancouver, so we all drove to Osoyoos for mom’s annual party for me.  Luckily, I didn’t have to drive going or coming, so that was nice.  But nonetheless I arrived white-faced from pain.

Mom immediately called the retired doctor who was one of the guests and left him a message to bring a shot for pain!  Then mom said surely Martha the chiropractor, another guest, would be able to help too.

When Martha arrived and saw me with my arm in the sling, she said, “Get on the bed.”  She then did some adjustments that made me see little stars going round and round my head.  Later on she did another, and she really did get rid of a lot of the pain and improved my range of motion.

Undaunted, I was still able to eat a lobster, accompanied by salad and corn on the cob.  Gerry and mom had 30 lobsters flown in from Nova Scotia, as they’d done three years earlier.  There were 23 guests and everyone had a great time.

As predicted, the lobsters were done completely incorrectly for Gerry Bruck.  That was because Jerralynn was sick, and she’s the head chef.  So the town mayor, Stu Wells, and my brother Freddie, who’s his best friend, took over lobster-cooking duties.  This portended disaster right from the start.

As it likes to be in mid-July in Osoyoos, it was 40 degrees Celsius in the sun.  A large propane-fuelled two-burner stove was set up and two big pots of water placed on top.  My sister-in-law Wendy said she walked by as they were filling the pots from the hose, thought to suggest maybe starting with hot tap water, but said nothing.

We all sat with bibs for a long, long time, and then the water finally decided to boil.  The lobsters were taken out of their Styrofoam box and placed into the water.  They were timed, and removed at intervals.

Stu and Freddie got Nicky to help them, and the three of them were bathed in sweat, due to the sun and the steam. Just as the crowd was beginning to get restless, the lobsters were served with lashings of melted butter.  Everyone thought they were good, but Gerry didn’t.

He’s very particular about the way a lobster’s cooked and served, and even at 97 his standards haven’t come down one inch.  I said to him the next day, perhaps lobsters for 6 would be more manageable, and he agreed.

So another birthday’s come and gone, and today the pain of the shoulder is almost a distance memory.  Just in time to make dozens and dozens of jars of apricot jam in preparation for the long winter.

Last Sunday was Canada Day and I was invited over to Petra and Larry’s for a barbecue.  I drove to their place with Kathy and David, and it was a very enjoyable evening.  We left for home right in time to see the fireworks as we crossed the bridge into Kelowna.

This week I received a call from a nice woman in Alberta who said she wanted a fruitcake for her in-law’s wedding anniversary.  She said they had had a fruitcake at their wedding, and also mentioned there was a horn of plenty.

And being the lunatic I am, I printed a couple of pictures of horns of plenty, and then coloured them nicely.  I cut them out, and put one inside an anniversary card and one on the outside of the envelope.

Then I took a Totally Decadent Fruitcake and the card, and put them inside pretty clear cellophane and wrapped it with a wired silk ribbon.  It looked very nice, and I like to imagine the happiness of the couple at their kids’ thoughtfulness when they open it.

And since I was headed north on Highway 97 anyway, I said I’d drop it off at Sparkling Hills Resort, just outside Vernon, where they’ll be staying.  What a great drive and view from up there!  If you’re ever near there, you should drive up and have a look as it’s quite the place.

On the drive CBC’s Mark Forsythe was interviewing some expert in climate change.  With the drought and heat in the American mid-west and the deluge of rain in England, it may finally be dawning on humans that we need to stop consuming so damned much.

Which is why, of course, I’m totally smug about buying things second-hand.  You leave a much smaller footprint if you buy something someone else no longer wants.  And really, how much damage can be done to most items?

The other day I was browsing in the Mennonite Thrift Store and I found a nice Rand McNally Atlas for $2.00.  It was printed in 1986 and was still in good shape.  The original price was $39.95 which was a princely sum back then.

But I can have it in 2012 for a fraction of the cost, plus a new atlas doesn’t need to be produced for me, and this one didn’t end up our mountainous landfills. Surely to God we can all find some items to buy used, even those of you who need to burn your money to get rid of it.

And then that kind of thing makes up for one fruitcake being delivered to Sparkling Hills Resort by this intrepid fruitcake monger.  It’s my own version of carbon off-sets.  Drive a car, buy a used coffee table, atlas etc.

I try to do the same thing with the gym, but of course I’m somewhat less successful with the conversion.  Exercise for one hour, eat 4,000 calories.  But I was never good at math, as you well know.

The monk is conspiring against me and my fruitcake business.  Luke’s wedding date in Thailand’s been chosen, and it’s November 23!  I’ll leave November 18th and return on December 2nd, so that makes for an interesting gap in the seasonal business.

I imagine the Country Woman magazine issue mentioning my business likely hits newsstands around mid-November, so all of this is so interesting!

And you won’t believe this part of it: Denis and Nicky are going, too.  Yes, the whole family’s off to Thailand.  Now I have to find a dog/cat sitter who might also be able to handle some of the fruitcake inquiries.  Surely such a person exists.

But as we well know, worry is futile, so I’ll leave all of the details to the fates.  Right now I have far more immediate worries, such as why I won’t do something about this ring of fat around my middle.  If I’d just stop chowing down on bad carbs, I’d be fine.

Fortunately, I’m on an austerity program as I have to save for Thailand.  This means I don’t have to suffer the indignities of the consignment stores’ dressing room mirrors.  The last thing I need to do is shop for clothes, especially when larger than Bev Oda.

But hold it: I do have one thing to buy, and that’s a nice pink dress for the wedding.  I asked Jan (Supawan) what colours are good luck, and she said pink or white.  As pink’s my favourite colour, I’m taking this as another good omen.

As you’ll recall I insisted to Luke I have to fly Cathay Pacific, and now Luke, Nicky and Denis are all flying China Air.  However, because of their presence on the trip, and because I’m saddled with them, the rest of the trip will be done their way, IE  cheap.

We’re staying at a place in Bangkok that’s $31 a night.  Then we’ll be staying for free in the bride’s village, and then we’re going to a resort on the island of Ko Samui in the Gulf of Thailand.  I think that’ $50/night!  But it’s true, why spend a bunch of money if you’re in a lovely setting.  I’ll be snorkelling like a crazy person.

Today I talked to my prospective daughter-in-law on Skype, and she’s a lovely girl.  At first, I couldn’t understand one single word she was saying, but after a few minutes my ear became acclimatized and then it was okay.  Hard, but okay.

She said she doesn’t drive and is too scared to, and I said well when you live here, you can’t walk everywhere because it’s too far.  It’s always so interesting to watch a new Canadian or visitor as they look at the map, see where they are, and then go, wow, this really IS a big country!

So it was a special Canada Day for me today as I spoke to someone who could only dream of being a Canadian a short while ago, and now it’s going to happen.  Jan was glad to learn about Canada Day when I told her about it.

And that’s just the first of a lifetime of conversations I expect to have with this young woman from so far away who’s going to marry my son.  But imagine the joy of tutoring a newcomer in English and turning out a primo speaker:  The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!